by soey » 16 Jul 2014, 12:07
I'm 99% sure that it's not a retear, because the day BEFORE i went for the exam, i had terrible pain all day long(and days before that). And after the exam, my CRS told me i was almost healed. And she was down there for a good 20 minutes with a large.. thing in my butt.. (i was sleeping thank god), and it still didnt retear. I was nervous the day before, so i think for me; stress is a major issue. The pain comes and goes, but it seems like the pain is getting worse later in the day. I know it's healed alot compared to what the pain used to be after a BM. I would crawl from the bathroom and in to my bedroom.. couldn't walk for hours. Now i can walk around, maybe go for a short walk right after my BM(well, sitting in warm water first). I know when i quit smoking to try'n heal my fissure two months ago, i got so depressed because that was all i had left. Now i started smoking again(I know it's not good for me!) and i'm more relaxed.. And guess what? less pain(less, not totally gone). When the terrible pain comes, i keep in mind the progress i've made during the last months, and the fact that my CRS told me it was almost healed.
Apes;
First of all, i have to say thank you for being such a great support in here :)
About the shooting pain, I've had them for a long time, and it still freaks me out. But if you don't have any pain/burning after a BM, you should be healed(or nearly healed). I still have a tiny bit of burning(and i'm 90% healed), so i wouldnt worry too much about it(easy to say). Oh, almost forgot.. when my CRS told me i was almost healed, i asked 'how the he** can i still feel so much pain!?' and she toold me i wasnt the only one. several times a month, people come in(2-3 months after botox injections) and say they think the botox is wearing off, because they have 'spasm-like-pain' again. They get checked out, but no fissure is to be found. So i know that there are many - many - with the same problems after they're 'healed'.
I've learned that this really is a mind game, every time I don't feel anything, i cry tears of.. well.. joy! And when the shooting pain comes, I cry tears of fear!! There's only so much pain I can take, and I feel I've had my share.
My heart really goes out to you all. I wish i could find some magic cure, but the only thing that I know helps; is to NOT overthink things, and try to stay as calm as possible - all the time. I try to stay optimistic, but still being realistic..
Proctalgia fugax is very interesting to read about. Think I might google a bit myself;)
Rachael 1984,
So glad you're finally getting LIS! Hope it works out for you after all of your suffering:( fingers crossed!