Im back as promised :)

Something written by god through me

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Im back as promised :)

Postby havefaith » 14 Apr 2014, 19:09

Hey all, its been 7 long gruelling months and im still recovering but id like to report i am fissure free for 2 months now, though i find the pelvic floor disorder equally debilitating (now that its finally been diagnosed) - and most likely to have caused my fissure + retears for months on end (in addition to incorect ointment placement instructions given by a gi and a crs). i have been recovering and now feel well enough to come back and help others who are in the same hole i was. I will have a full update on my entire seven month process and what i am doing now...

I wanted to give a huge thank you to everyone on this site who supported me..... In what may have been my darkest days.... I love you all.....However i was compelled to show u this. It was written by my "spirit" if u will, with tears rolling down my face as i thought to myself that life wasnt worth living. Since that day i can say ive had more hope, and for myself and all of you out there suffering from anal problems i can honestly say i have faith.....


Ill walk with you.

If youre suffering out there just give me a piece, together 2 of us half the problem and we conquer this beast, if only i could do something more from my heart other than show you that you in pain splits my life apart//

I know you figured yourself out now and it cut you like glass, the forgiveness you could never give yourself for your actions past, theres a time and place for that, repent, cry its healthy but its not a forever thing that lasts//

Remember all the good things that you tried to do? Remember all the people who look up to you, are you just gonna lay down and die? Why cant you at least try?

Pleaaaase im begging you like nobody can, this isnt where it ends youre a spectacular man, just make sure you dont make the same mistakes again n try to explain to others the mess they could be in//

I know its not easy because life is hard, when every little thing is like trying to get yourself over that chinup bar, no matter who shoves you on your walk through life, remember god always loves you through your smiles or strife//

If you wonder whose writing this song cuz it cant be you, remember all the shit that youre supposed to do, //stay aware serve others then serve yourself and you wont need to die to goto heaven youll already have all of its wealth, im your power within please dont fear it, im youre unbeatable spirit, the one with unlimited health//

See i learned heaven and hell arent places you go when you die, theyre places based on your actions that you go in your mind, //

As i lay here in pain with you as i talk to you, remember for each step you take that ill walk with you//

The suns gonna shine soon and bright, give you the the opportunities to turn ur wrongs to rights, dont forget the lessons you learned, just remember gods power is the only thing you should yearn//

Even though you experience discourse, i keep sayin remember because inside everyone is an unbeatable force, even though its a fight to get you, if youre hurting let me know and ill be right there with you......


:thankyou:
I have faith in you always, i love you like my own son or daughter, when you hurt, i hurt. Let us all be each others guiding light, and heal without anxiety :) Much love to all.
havefaith
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby ut_outdoorsman » 15 Apr 2014, 16:45

After our brief exchanges, I looked through all of the chat topics you started, and read your story.

My gosh, I am so sorry you've had to go through all that. What a nightmare.

It is encouraging to see how you've come out on the other side optimistic and positive. I have a lot to learn from those of you with such amazing attitudes and temperaments.

I am glad you are feeling better, though you now face new challenges. I look forward to hearing more about your recovery--what it has involved, and where it continues to go from here.

2 months! Good for you!
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby owmybum » 16 Apr 2014, 12:55

That's lovely, thank you havefaith. Xxxxx

OMB xxxx
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby sugarspice » 18 Apr 2014, 07:21

That's beautiful havefaith, and I'm so glad you have been healed for 2 months :-D
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby havefaith » 19 Apr 2014, 13:19

Thank you all for ur kind words, my attitude wasnt always the best at times i was scared at others i was doubtful but i always had faith god would lead me in the right direction... This site is so full of love and i just wanna give back. How are u omb?! Are u better? How bout u sugar and spice?

Healed of fissure now dealing with PFD which feels like needles in ur anus but theres no lesion there, valium helps take spasms down though which helps... I just wanted to say i love u all and im gonna be back here giving back support to those who gave to me through their pain and suffering.... My heart is with u all
I have faith in you always, i love you like my own son or daughter, when you hurt, i hurt. Let us all be each others guiding light, and heal without anxiety :) Much love to all.
havefaith
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby Rachael 1984 » 20 Apr 2014, 04:02

Hi Have Faith,
That's just mad me cry! How lovely.... I having a bad day with another re-tear, and that has made me think I can carry on and battle through this.... Great you have healed the fissure. I wish you luck for the future and I hope you can manage the PFD, I'm sure you will, you are a strong person. Thankyou. Xxx
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby havefaith » 20 Apr 2014, 11:34

Aw man rachel :( my heart goes out to you girl uve been suffering for so long with periods of hope then retears, damn it!
You WILL get better you WILL beat this. Make sure youre doing absolutely everything in your power to control it and make sure you have a positive support group both at home and with the great people here, YOU can conquer this... I know you will. Have faith..
I have faith in you always, i love you like my own son or daughter, when you hurt, i hurt. Let us all be each others guiding light, and heal without anxiety :) Much love to all.
havefaith
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby vdb324 » 20 Apr 2014, 13:54

Havefaith, it's always so good to see a success story on here!

If you don't mind sharing, what corrected your fissure?
Feb. 2013 - Developed AF
July 2013 - Diagnosed AF;nifidepine lidocaine treatment
Oct. 2013 - 1st round of Botox & skin tag removal
Dec. 2013 - 2nd Botox
March 2014 - Spinchterotomy
June 2015 - Diagnosed with Pelvic Floor Dysfunction/Vulvodynia
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby havefaith » 20 Apr 2014, 14:31

Hi vbd

1. Applying medication correctly, i was told to apply nifedipene alllll the way up with a gloved finger when in fact it only needed to be applied not even half of an inch up

2. Im on a lot of prescription meds which dry me out so i drank 3 liters of water per day

3. Absolutely no pasta ,no wheat (with the exception of all bran every morning) no meat, strictly vegetables well chewed at the same times each day. Sometimes added a bit of rice if things got too watery.

4. Colace one in the morning and one at night when things were really bad i did one in the evening too

5. Never ever ever withholding defocation

6. A squatty potty combined with perianal support (info about this can be found on these forums just use the search option), proper deep breathing when on the toilet.

7. Avoid sitting for long periods if you can, laying on my side really helped.

8. Focus on trying to relax when the spasms hit bad.

9. Avoid intense physical activity and sex (yeah it sucked but having a fissure 7 months sucked more in my humble opinion)
Supplements:
Vitamin c
Vitamin e
High quality probiotic
Fish oil
Aloe vera juice once in the morning once at night
Olive oil 15 ml x3 per day


Im also a huge nerd so i got to thinking why isnt there a cream which helps to regenerate skin? Well it turns out there is but its for eczema patients, got the doc to prescribe some and gently applied to the fissure its called epicream skin barrier emulsion.


Getting rid of a fissure is a full time job, and at one point with the fissure pain plus all my pelvic floor muscles in spasm o thought to myself that life wasnt worth living.... I visited the emerg 5 times in 7 months, had over 20 fingers plus other things inside me. Underwent dialation or "lords procedure". And this is nothing compared to what people on this site have been through... Just remember when u enter your journey through hell.... Keep on walking cuz it does end.... My love and prayers go out to you all... Your support and care kept me going when i didnt want to go on...
I have faith in you always, i love you like my own son or daughter, when you hurt, i hurt. Let us all be each others guiding light, and heal without anxiety :) Much love to all.
havefaith
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Re: Im back as promised :)

Postby sugarspice » 21 Apr 2014, 03:40

have faith, that last post made me cry :-( You poor thing, when you felt life wasn't worth living and I really dont think people understand how bad it is unless they have had it. Thank god for this forum!!!!!! I am so pleased for you that it is all sorted, it really does sound that no-one deserves it more :-) If I'd have been there with you in your darkest time I would have held your hand :-)

I've just had my second round of botox and apart from an initial infection (which has now cleared) I am doing OK. I really miss swimming..isn't that weird! You don't realise how much you enjoyed something until it's gone! I loved it before I got this stupid fissure and I miss taking my girls to the pool, but I do hope once I am fully healed (god willing) I will go again :-) I don't miss the food I liked as much as I thought I would. I would have hated it more if the food that was good for me had to be stopped, but I can live without pizza :-) Anything is better than the pain :-)

SS
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