by Benny Lee » 05 Aug 2016, 06:41
Yes thank you.
About, the trauma...
I totally understand. It's obvious from this forum that many of us suffer psychologically from these prolonged episodes of pain and discomfort, and in my case my mental health deteriorated quite severely last winter owing not just to pain and all-round confusing symptoms, but to feeling I'd caused, by messily over-administering suppositories, old tubes of rectogesic etc. a) a fissure b) that fissure then becoming (much later diagnosed) a fistula.
By quitting all creams, carefully maintaining anal hygiene, and now just having one sachet of Movicol at breakfast each day, but MAINLY with time (and since June) my fistula is no problem now. I can sit for ages with no discomfort, but I am likely to have a fistulotomy by end of September, so to hear about healing is great (as I'm now nervous about the return to 'the system'!).
I think the main thing which troubles us is not knowing for sure 'what's going on' down there. Once we know, we can start to heal mentally too. A bit silly, but I almost love my fistula: it behaves itself, and I keep it clean. But credit where it's due - I absolutely love the anti-depressant I started back in January for eventually stabilising me, and lifting me out of all that pain and confusion. And my partner and extended family, who were like: what's happened to our man?! But supported me brilliantly while I recovered. Phew.