Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

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Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby stuckOnHold » 08 May 2013, 04:35

Hi all. It's been a while since I've been here.
I really need to ask this as I have no idea who else I can ask for help... my problem is a strange one in that I have become totally dependent on this ritual in order to have a normal day: After each BM I need to stick my finger up my bum with a little cream. If I don't do this then I experience all sorts of horrible discomfort in the day. Itching, irritation, pain.
I don't know why this is. I used to have an AF, I still have minor internal piles, my doctor says this is normal. I have tried on 3 occasions to cut out this practice but each time it causes me so much grief and stress that I give up within a few days as it's just not worth it. My only theory is that I've been doing this for 3 years now and the constant use of cream has done something to alter the skin in my anus so that it is 'weakened'. Sorry for the graphic description but if there are small particles of faeces in my bum then walking around with that feels awful, I have to do the cream thing to clear it out. Does anyone else have this? Surely the human body is capable of coping with a bit of leftover material after a BM?
A little background info: I use Sudocrem, a zinc oxide cream for nappy (diaper) rash. I've been using this for about a year, before which I was using Vaseline, Anusol or GTN for 2 years. I take 3x Movicol sachets a day to help constipation. I put baby powder on after that to keep moisture at bay, and this helps stop it itching, but even when it's dry I still get the irritation. My AF symptoms I had a year ago seem to have subsided but this problem still remains. BMs still hurt a bit, never any blood. My doctor doesn't seem to think it's a big problem because as far as he's concerned there's nothing wrong with me. I want to scream and say that I don't care how 'well' I appear, my life is hell! I want to be able to live my life without having to stick my finger up my bottom every day. I've been single for a while, and I don't know how I would be able to maintain this routine in a relationship. It affects confidence and self image quite a lot.
Please please if anyone has any similar experiences can you share? I'm at a dead end with this now and I don't know what to try. Thanks.
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby thisfissurecankissmybutt » 08 May 2013, 05:31

It sounds to me like you may have some pelvic floor issues (i.e., you have the inability to complete relax the pelvic floor muscles to have a BM). It would be no different than someone who is having "normal" (i.e., not hard or bulky BM's) but is having to strain to have a BM because they couldn't relax their pelvic floor muscles.
If this is the case, you might want to consider biofeedback or pelvic floor retraining. It usually consists of several sessions with a nurse or physical therapist. They basically retrain you how to "drop" or relax the pelvic floor during a BM through the use of electronic instruments and exercises.
I went through several sessions of biofeedback over a year ago as I was straining to have a BM because I wasn't able to relax my pelvic floor (even though I thought I was) and it was VERY helpful.
A couple of sessions of biofeedback might solve all of your problems.
Good luck!
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby stuckOnHold » 08 May 2013, 07:39

Thanks for your reply. I'm curious to know how you reached that conclusion from my description?
I do sometimes find it hard to pass BMs, though it's the irritation during the day that causes me the most grief. Would there be a link between the pelvic floor issues and this discomfort?
Thanks for your suggestion. I've heard about biofeedback and manometry from my doctor. Was the biofeedback session with the electronic instruments painful or unpleasant?
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby thisfissurecankissmybutt » 08 May 2013, 08:51

It's entirely possible that I'm entirely wrong, of course, but I assumed from your description that part of the reason you used your finger was because it was difficult to have a BM. Or, that having a BM without using your finger (due to pelvic floor dysfunction) is causing your muscles to spasm which can cause you to feel irritated around your anus. It seems reasonable to me to make the connection between actually having a BM without using your finger and the irritation due to the sphincter muscles. If that is the case, biofeedback may help you relax those muscles during a BM, which could help prevent the spasms, which could reduce or eliminate the irritation. I know that my CRS said that I was having spasms (as he could see the spasms happening during an exam), but I never felt the spasms (only the resulting tightness and pain, in my case - or irritation, in your case).
One session with biofeedback would give you a lot of answers. If you do indeed have some pelvic floor dysfunction, then you would continue the treatment.
Although fairly expensive, the biofeedback itself was painless. Basically, in my case, an electronic probe was inserted into my anus and then the biofeedback nurse asked me to perform different tasks (i.e., squeezing my sphincter muscles, releasing the muscles as if I were having a BM, etc.) while she watched a computer program hooked up to the probe. She was able to determine pretty quickly that I did have pelvic floor dysfunction.
After that, we were able to continue to use the probe (as well as some exercises) to retrain my pelvic floor.
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby Just 'Pain' Tired » 08 May 2013, 11:37

Hmmm, my PA (CRS clinic) asked if I had to 'push something back inside' after BM's. Too bad I didn't ask him what he meant! I have a good sized external sentinel pile which is definitely annoying but I don't try to push it back in! I find it is harder to completely empty or end a BM compared to life before AF pain. Sometimes I feel an uncomfortable sensation/irritation and may find a little material around my anal opening and sentinel pile. I use a Tuck's pad to carefully wipe. At this point I'm using creams so I do insert with a finger. It would be nice to think this is temporary!!! I try not to focus too much on a possibility of left over fecal matter irritation to my AF (which is up inside). I figure the body knows how to deal with it. Since your symptoms bother you a lot, you might check back with a CRS or hemmie specialist, you might have internal something or others that just create annoying sensations. Do keep on keeping on until you find something that helps! :)
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby Ever the Optimist » 08 May 2013, 11:48

Stuckonhold,
If this works for you - then why stop? We all have unusual and odd habits and I can't see why doing this will cause you major issues. You are infact dilating the area slightly after a BM, which is also a technique a lot of people use on this site to gain relief. I wouldn't worry too much about the use of vaseline/ sudocrem but I wouldn't continue to use anusol or GTN, creams that might contain hydrocortisone, as these can thin the area after constant use.
There's a lot of discussion on whether that area should be kept dry or moistened and personally I use natural coconut oil to keep the area moisturised. This works well for me as I get more irritation if the area dries out.
I understand that feeling of needing to keep things thoroughly clean, even internally, having suffered a fistula, and use a detachable shower head to gently shoot water up into and around the anal opening. From what I've generally researched though on this, cleaning up should not need be harsh and OTT. Of course, it's important to clean as much debris as possible from the exterior area but the anal passage also has a self cleansing mechanism that will deal with those little particles that might remain up inside. I clean well with a shower head and then gently apply a little coconut oil to a baby wipe to dab the area after patting dry and to keep my bottom soft, soothed & moisturised........
Chronic Fissure diagnosed December 2011
Healed by Diltiazem around Feb 2013
Anal Fistula followed burst abscess in June 2012
2 internal troublesome piles remain & suspected, but undiagnosed, ongoing Levator Ani type symptoms & flare-ups
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby guiness » 08 May 2013, 17:37

Seriously though, at least something cures the itches you have. Theres a lot worse things than having to stick your finger up your ass each day. Think of people that dont even have a butthole to use. You do t have to tell anyone, ever, so why be embarrassed. Also if you meet someone, its not like you have to go to the bathroom together, ever. Even if u are married. Lock the bathroom door.
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby jr2 » 08 May 2013, 18:07

I agree with the others to just do whatever works for you. I wouldn't worry that you've done something to alter your skin. You may just be sensitive to certain residues, especially if there is anything acidic in the stool that has passed. The gentle dilation and massage of the muscle with a finger will also benefit the muscle in terms of elasticity, blood flow, and any tightness there.
I would suggest you switch though from baby powder to plain corn starch instead. Baby powder has fragrance in it, and the fragrance can be irritating for the skin down there.
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Re: Unable to live without this embarassing ritual

Postby marg6043 » 09 May 2013, 14:46

stuckOnHold, is nothing too strange or embarrassing, perhaps for somebody that never had a fissure before our routines may look that way.
I also have a routine that can not stop, After a BM I have to clean the inside of the anal canal gently with a Q-tip dip in Vaseline to make sure that the area where my fissure is located do not have any left over fecal matter, this I learned from another member here that posted her routine to avoid irritation and discomfort lasting all day after a BM.
Best advise I ever read and I am not embarrassed about doing it, it does goes along way to avoid pain discomfort.
I have use Vaselinese and baby desitin. Creams like anusol will weaken the area if you use it for a long time and so any hydrocortison creams.
So there you have it, I confess. :D
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