Hi,
I've only been suffering with this for the last four months but so glad to have found somewhere to talk about it because I really feel on my own! I managed to get my fissure just after I'd been on holiday - I had severe food poisoning and this caused all hell to let loose downstairs and subsequently caused the tearing.
I put up within it for the first 8 weeks after seeing my doctor using topical solutions, over the counter pain killers and basically sitting on my knees at work and on several cushions in the car every day in the attempt to make it stop hurting so much. Eventually I was struggling to sit down so was referred and had botox about 7 weeks ago. It started off ok but has gradually gone back down the same path I was on before with the pain lasting nearly the whole day - it's just not as intense as previously. I've been told I can go back and have another shot if I need to but to be honest I feel like it's just not working. I'm going hell for leather on fibre, water, fruit, veg etc and trying really had not to strain / press too hard with toilet paper but this really isn't going away.
I'm so depressed. All I do is think about it, the pain, worry if it will ever go, and feel like it's all I talk to my boyfriend and parents about. It's making me so sad and I'm just losing all will to keep trying. I don't know how those of you that have had them for years cope!! I just can't but help feel that this is only the beginning and I'm going to have to go through this for years too. I'm terrified of surgery and the pain some have discussed on here. I don't know how to adapt my diet and feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.
It's nice (not great obviously!!) to know I'm not on my own, because I feel like no one understands!!

Hi holly, do read up on my success story without surgery. I understand ur fear n depression, been there not long ago.
http://anal-fissure.org/t3555-my-success-story?highlight=My+success
However if u had Botox n can't heal, u r probably is a gd candidate for surgery. Some ppl like u has had enough and went for LIS with great success, of cos there will be complications and risks as with all surgeries, but if u have tried all and all fails then u have to take the last resort.

Hi Holly, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sucks! I have had my AF for about 10 months now. I had my first round of botox in June. I felt great for the first three months, and then when it wore off, I went back to pain. But like you, the pain wasn't quite as intense. Just enough to make me upset. I went back to my CRS and she said that most times, people will need a second round of Botox because it's hit or miss with the first round because your muscle is sooo tight that it's hard to get the needle in the right place. I went for a second round in September. And I have to say that so far, it feels even better than the first time. My AF is healed for now. My botox will wear off in December, so I just hope that my muscle doesn't go back into spasm. But honestly, it feels like it used to before I ever dealt with this. You may also want to try Dr. Wheatgrass skin recovery cream. It doesn't work for everybody, but I use it everyday, and it has helped tremendously.
What you said about being depressed...I was there. I was driving my husband, mother and sisters crazy. It was consuming my life. It's all I thought about and talked about. Stress and worrying, really doesn't help the situation. The mind is a very powerful thing. Just try to think positive. I know it sounds cheesy, but when I stopped obsessing and crying over it, I felt a bit better. Don't let this rule your life!!

bigbabyboy wrote:Hi Holly, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sucks! I have had my AF for about 10 months now. I had my first round of botox in June. I felt great for the first three months, and then when it wore off, I went back to pain. But like you, the pain wasn't quite as intense. Just enough to make me upset. I went back to my CRS and she said that most times, people will need a second round of Botox because it's hit or miss with the first round because your muscle is sooo tight that it's hard to get the needle in the right place. I went for a second round in September. And I have to say that so far, it feels even better than the first time. My AF is healed for now. My botox will wear off in December, so I just hope that my muscle doesn't go back into spasm. But honestly, it feels like it used to before I ever dealt with this. You may also want to try Dr. Wheatgrass skin recovery cream. It doesn't work for everybody, but I use it everyday, and it has helped tremendously.
What you said about being depressed...I was there. I was driving my husband, mother and sisters crazy. It was consuming my life. It's all I thought about and talked about. Stress and worrying, really doesn't help the situation. The mind is a very powerful thing. Just try to think positive. I know it sounds cheesy, but when I stopped obsessing and crying over it, I felt a bit better. Don't let this rule your life!!

Hi,
It's really good to know the second round of botox has had a positive effect for you so far - you must be so pleased! Cannot wait for that day to arrive as I hope it has a much better effect the second time round! Its reassuring to know as I think that's definately going to be my next step, as it feels just as bad as before. I may consider surgery after that, although really hope it doesn't come down to it.
I think it's more reassuring that I'm not on my own with feeling so down about this. It's so difficult to pick myself up out of it! I sit there (well try to!) at work worrying about if people notice I'm sat on my knees, wriggling about, or whether I'm going to struggle driving home & if there's going to be heavy traffic so I'll be there for longer. I cry, probably a little irrationally, at thought of driving 300miles home once a month and hope I don't need a BM until I get there. I panic massively before any BM and get frustrated when pain killers don't work.
I understand exactly what you mean about driving people mad!! I just keep telling myself I'm lucky to have people who will listen and try and cheer me up, and suppose I'm lucky because this is as bad as it get's & it's not something a lot worse... but it doesn't stop the pain or make it feel any better. I agree though - I completely need to pick myself up and not let it rule my life. I think having found this site and having people who understand will really help. The cream you mentioned - is that something I could get over the counter. I will give ANYTHING a go!!

I have to order the cream online. Just type it into the search engine and it should come up. Surgery will definetly be my next step if this round of botox does not do the trick. See, my only worry is that, the pain I'm feeling may not be coming from my bottom, but rather because I had to have a very large episiotomy having my son and now scar tissue has formed. I'm going to explore all my options before going for the surgery.

I have used the supebalm and super spray and they sting me, putting me more pain for the next few days thus I stopped using it altogether. Not sure y I have such reactions, but pls do be careful. Not all products work for everuone

Hi holly, I am new here as well but you are in the right place here for sure. Sorry to hear about your pain. I have been dealing with this fissure for 5 years not knowing that I actually have one so its good that you are working to resolve it. The botox was recommended to me but after the Dr. saw my face she knew I didnt want to mess around any further so I am due for surgery in 2 weeks. I am upbeat after reading all the info here about sucessful surgerys, so not sure if you have considered the surgery route. Good luck! :D

Hi Holly and BigBabyBoy,
I was wondering if your fissures' are anterior or posterior?
Are you healed?
I hope you don't mind my asking. My doc says my anterior fissure may be something I will have to live with. Then when he saw the look on my face, he said that botox might work. I plan to get a second opinion, but in the mean time I am obsessing about what he said.
-woi

I became so obsessed with the pain I could think of nothing else.I lay in the tub at least 15 hours a day for over a week crying.I had worked in the mental health field and thought there was not anything that I would feel like stepping off the earth for but this came close. I just kept remembering this to shall pass and it did. Let some light in your life. Turn on lights. If you are lucky enough to live where the sun shines get out in it. If it is too cold find certain times of the day where it might shine in a window and lay in it. I threw 3 pillows on the floor and lay on them. Light fights depression and sunshine actually has chemical reactions in the body that is absorbed in the skin to help with depression. Do not sit around and think (now that is depressing). Turn on music. Watch happy stuff. One of my favorite sayings is from the poem Ivicitus. "I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul". Don't let that b*st*rd depression get you down. Give it a just fight.It is good to be alive.