Ouf ya - sounds like I'll be spending lots of time in the bath lol. How do you find the psyllium helps? I haven't tried it yet.

I really need something that would just let the bms slide out without straining. Stool softners definitely made the stool softer, but not easier to get out! Things just aren't working right down there, I think with the sphincter being so tight straining is a necessity

Also - forgot to ask. Do you find the loperamide makes you go less in general (ie twice a day on the toilet vs 4x) or less at one time (ie: one quick and easy bm vs several "in a row". My problem is having to go too much in one sitting. Thanks so much for your replies!

The psyllium really helps but I have to be careful when I take it as it can occasionally make me go too often. But it makes mine more solid but easy to pass. Yes it's hard to get something that works when the sphincter is really tight.
The loperamide does both to be Honest I can often go 4 times in the space of 20 mins with the loperamide it's mainly just the once occasionally twice. Again I wouldn't recommend taking it if you have issues with constipation