Very worried and feeling hopeless

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Very worried and feeling hopeless

Postby patience_and_healing » 31 Mar 2017, 20:23

I was looking through my doctor's notes today and she's noted that I have a fissure at 9 and one at 3 o'clock. I definitely feel one at 6 o'clock too when I apply ointment. I'm so worried right now :( :( I'm trying to heal with conservative measures but is that even possible when I have more than one fissure? I see people on here taking months just to heal one. Please help me with some hopeful words, because right now everything seems bleak... :( I've had blood and stool tests for inflammatory bowel and all were negative, so I'm quite certain it's not that, although I'm slightly worried it might be, though I have none of the symptoms.
8/16-12/16: Fissure due to antibiotics
5/17: Botox to sphincter, fissure healed
9/19: Trigger point injections and pudendal nerve block
11/19: Botox to pelvic floor
8/20: Botox to pelvic floor in new location.
On and off in pelvic physical therapy
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Re: Very worried and feeling hopeless

Postby dmcff » 01 Apr 2017, 01:52

I've found that my AF has a mind of its own - from being docile and hardly noticeable it can suddenly become a raging inferno, for no apparent reason that I can detect. Healing is possible, but there's always the danger of a re-tear, or a new fissure. The important thing is to accept the rough with the smooth, to keep taking the softeners and applying the cream or ointment, to be careful about what one eats and drinks, and hope for the best, which will come if we're patient and let it. Acceptance plays a big part in this, I think. Hope you feel much better soon.
Last edited by dmcff on 01 Apr 2017, 07:48, edited 1 time in total.
2014 Anal fissure
2015 CAT, EUA, sigmoidoscopy, 2 MRI
2016 Pain severe then moderate to low
2017 Moderate pain
2018 Physical therapy, pain management
2019-20 Living with it
2021 Still AF
2022 Therapy, meditation
2023 Onward, up
2024 CT scan
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Re: Very worried and feeling hopeless

Postby patience_and_healing » 01 Apr 2017, 07:46

Thanks for your kind words. I'm trying my best to stay hopeful and upbeat. Any time I get low, my routine suffers and that doesn't help with healing. I think I need to be more regular with my mindful meditation. It really helped at first then I got less disciplined about it. Thanks again!
8/16-12/16: Fissure due to antibiotics
5/17: Botox to sphincter, fissure healed
9/19: Trigger point injections and pudendal nerve block
11/19: Botox to pelvic floor
8/20: Botox to pelvic floor in new location.
On and off in pelvic physical therapy
patience_and_healing
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Posts: 1157
Topics: 40
Joined: 24 Feb 2017, 15:46
Location: California
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Re: Very worried and feeling hopeless

Postby Deleted User 6607 » 24 Nov 2017, 23:47

Hello -

I know this post is kind of old, but just wanted to say I feel your stress and worry. I have a recurring fissure at either the 4:00 or 8:00 (On my right side). It always heals completely and then I will have a tough BM and it re-tears. This has happened about four times now.

I've had a flex sig, anoscope and DRE. The doctor said everything looks completely normal. But I just keep stressing about the location - it's not located at the 6:00 and everything I read online says that any atypical fissure warrants further examination. The doctor who did the anoscope and DRE was very thorough and spent a lot of time with me and didn't seem concerned.

Has your doctor said anything to you about the locations of your fissures? Did they eventually heal for good? Did you have re-tears? I'm doing the Vaseline cream that she prescribed (a mixture of something). I just had the re-tear yesterday and I was so frustrated I actually cried. I thought it was completely healed and I've been doing everything the doctor has asked me to do - cream three times a day, sits baths, diet, etc.

I guess I'm just looking for any insight about the fissure location - that is really stresssing me out.

Thanks for listening.
Deleted User 6607
 

Re: Very worried and feeling hopeless

Postby patience_and_healing » 29 Nov 2017, 14:12

They did eventually heal but scar tissue is never as strong as the original skin so they get irritated once in a while. The CRS didn't mention that the left lateral location was something to be worried about. Rather she was pleased that it healed with conservative measures.

Has the doctor diagnosed you with spasm of the sphincter? If that's the case then it could be the reason why the fissures keep getting reinjured. You could ask for Botox as a first step to see if it will help.

I understand that this situation is stressful, I've lived through it, but unless you get your anxiety under control, nothing that doctors say will help. Perhaps some counseling could help you out, or confiding in someone close to you who can provide support.
8/16-12/16: Fissure due to antibiotics
5/17: Botox to sphincter, fissure healed
9/19: Trigger point injections and pudendal nerve block
11/19: Botox to pelvic floor
8/20: Botox to pelvic floor in new location.
On and off in pelvic physical therapy
patience_and_healing
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Posts: 1157
Topics: 40
Joined: 24 Feb 2017, 15:46
Location: California
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Gender: Female

Re: Very worried and feeling hopeless

Postby Deleted User 6607 » 29 Nov 2017, 19:18

Thank you for your reply and I agree with all of your suggestions. I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond. I guess the good news is that each of the times it’s re-torn, it’s always healed very quickly. Not sure if that’s even relevant, but I would think if it was something really serious, it probably wouldn’t heal like that.?

The other thing is I know for sure the only times I have an issue with it is when I have a very hard BM and I strain a lot. When I have normal and soft BMs, I have no issues at all. Maybe I should go to counseling. It would probably help me.

Thank you again for your response.
Deleted User 6607
 


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