NG,
How are you doing and how is the family?????????

Hey Cheryl, I'm okay. Things have been kind of crazy these last few months. My son's still got problems and a lot of things have been happening (and not happening) on that front. All in all things are okay but some things could definitely be better. Hope everyone else here is doing alright, I've been busy for a bit and haven't been able to get on too much.

Well, I called today, and they had never heard of it in suppository form. She called my pharmacy to ask if they offered it, and they don't. So...not sure what to do.
I don't know if I'd want to use a gel, since I also still use nitro cream.
They tell me they can't see my fissure, but I still get all the symptoms (pain during BM, 24/7 soreness, particularly at the place where the LIS incision was made), minus bleeding. I've been told it's just because the area is so sensitive, and because I have other problems in that general area (vulvodynia and a bladder disease). I've been told my muscle tone is still very, very high. Wonder if I should look into Botox... But I don't have health insurance right now. Not good, as I'm planning on studying abroad next Fall. And I bet you anything the craptastic Cobra (which we're still holding off on, in hopes that my dad will get a job within the next month or two) wouldn't cover Botox anyway.

crimeofpassion, is your pharmacy a compounding pharmacy? If not, you should check with a compounding pharmacy. Based on runningemile's post, it sounds like these are compounded or basically custom made.
It's like how -- in the US at least -- there's no off-the-shelf 0.2% nitroglycerin ointment product. The way that's made is to take 2% nitroglycerin and compound it with something else like aloe vera gel. The difference is that many standard pharmacies like Walgreens or Rite Aid can and will make simple compounds like 0.2% nitroglycerin. But suppositories are likely outside the range of what they're willing to compound and create.
It makes sense since in the US, diazepam only comes as 10 mg tablets, 5 mg tablets, 2 mg tablets, and two oral solutions (either 5 mg per 5 ml or 2 mg per 5 ml). Any other form is made for special purposes.
If the dosage really is 10 mg diazepam per suppository, then I would personally seriously consider just taking the pills by mouth or asking for the rectal gel. I don't think using nitro ointment at the same time will be a problem either way -- whether it's absorbed rectally or orally, it's all just a means of getting the drug into the bloodstream. 10 mg of diazepam is a pretty decent dose for muscle spasms (the therapeutic dose of diazepam depends on what condition it's being used to treat), so if you use the suppositories, you won't have any good way of cutting down the dose if you don't need the whole 10 mg in one shot. With pills or gel you can reduce it as needed. The stuff is very addictive and most people grow tolerant to it very quickly (and therefore need to increase dosage to achieve the same effect) so I'd strongly suggest using only as much as you need to in order to get relief -- if not because of the addiction potential, then because once therapeutic effects wear off at the current dosage, you can increase the dose and continue to get benefits from the drug.

One other thing: compounding pharmacies are generally expensive, whereas generic diazepam is dirt cheap, anywhere from $10 to $30 a month tops depending on which lab makes them (the only expensive ones are the brand name ones from Roche). Once you have them compounded, the price is going to go up, which could be a consideration if you don't have health insurance right now.

The pharmacy we go to now is CVS, and they compound my nitro cream. So if they can't make these valium suppositories, I doubt our local Walgreens can, because they couldn't even make the nitro...
Well, that's a bummer.

Neither CVS or Walgreens is a compounding pharmacy though -- those are usually smaller shops rather than the big chains. You've got to specifically look for them if you really want those suppositories.
In my area it's the opposite, CVS won't compound my nitro or nifedipine so I have to send the Rx for those to Walgreens.

Hm. I don't know of any other pharmacies by us.
I tried using one again last night. After awhile, I finally got it to stay in, but again, it's not comfortable, especially because I had a larger BM that day. Then, this morning when I had a BM, I had a lot of burning afterward. Felt very sore and depressed, so I actually laid down and ended up sleeping for about 4 hours. Every time I thought I retore in the past and ran to the doctor, she said she couldn't see a fissure (and eventually I could tell she was getting annoyed with me), and I can't even see anyone now since we have no insurance, but... I'm worried. Didn't see any blood, but the pain has spiked up big time.

I am so sorry Passion !!!! Yes - you need to find a compounding pharmacy - it MUST exist and that your doctor has NO idea of where it is in the city is just maddening !!!!!
SECOND - she/he does not have to SEE fissure for it to be there anyway _ WHAT A BOZOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!
Please do not insert your Valium pill in your poor rectum ! Rather take it orally and trust me it is NOT addictive in those doses and if taken just for couple of months !!!
If you are tight - my advice is that you find a first-class CRS surgeon who would fix you once and for all !!!! All else that you try will be just a temporary fix IMO - I know it was for me. I healed 7 times before the first LIS and reopened again and again . Healed completely but my butt got tight again and of course - had a brand new fissure !!! I had another LIS with another CRS and I have no problems now (KTW) - small poop, big poop, liquid poop, hard poop, before period poop - my but can take it all (KTW ) !!!!!
I wish you the best of luck and do not give up and do NOT let one incompetent doctor seal your destiny OK !??????

Ok I should probably just let it go, but I just don't feel that the information is accurate, so I felt I should at least make one last post on the topic of valium addiction... 10 mg of valium daily is not a particularly hefty dose, but it's not small either, and it can definitely cause addiction over several months. In fact smaller doses can lead to addiction over even shorter periods of time. Like all drugs and addictions, individual tolerances vary, and this certainly doesn't mean it will happen to everyone, but to say it cannot happen is simply not true.
The only reason I'm so adamant about this is that I speak from personal experience. My primary care doctor didn't believe that it could happen either. But since then I've spoken with many others who have had the same experience, and have consulted with more experienced doctors who confirm that it can and absolutely does happen more frequently than most people think.
It's similar to how many doctors see anal fissures -- "oh here's some hydrocortisone/nitroglycerin/nifedipine/whatever ointment, increase your fiber and water intake and it will just go away in a few weeks, because conventional medical wisdom says so." That may be true for some people, perhaps even the majority of people. But all of us here, unfortunately, know that isn't true across the board. And the reason we know it isn't true is because we have personal experiences that show otherwise. And after searching, many of us ultimately are able to find doctors and forums like this that truly understand fissures.
It's no different with valium and other benzodiazepines, and probably other drugs and maladies as well. All I can say is to not take valium casually. It is true that many people can take 10 mg daily for months without problems. It is also true that many people will get addicted long before then.
Don't get me wrong: I think valium is a wonderful drug for those suffering with painful sphincter spasms. Lord knows that when my fissure was acting up real bad, I would've done anything to alleviate the pain. I'm just saying to be careful with it, don't take it lightly, and use it only when absolutely needed.
I personally "only" took 10 mg a day for about a month to treat my fissure-related spasm. It worked great and my spasm started to die down, so I stopped the valium on the advice of my doctor. When I stopped, I was fine for about 5-7 days, and then one day all kinds of weird withdrawal symptoms started to hit. I had no idea what was going on at the time, but took another pill on a hunch, and all the symptoms went away (later I found out it's because valium's active metabolites take a long time to clear the system and thus withdrawal can be delayed). That's when I realized I had a problem. And that's when I started researching valium addiction on my own despite my doctor's assertion that I couldn't possibly have an addiction after that amount of time. It turns out that it's not an uncommon scenario at all; there are forums just like this one full of people who will tell you so. I now have an understanding physician who is helping me taper off slowly according to the Ashton Manual for benzodiazepine withdrawal, but I wish I would've known more about the whole thing in the very beginning, which is why I guess I'm kind of beating the dead horse here.
Knowing what I know now, would I have done anything differently? Yes and no. No, because I definitely would still take the valium if I had to do it all over again. It was the only thing that relieved my spasms. Yes, because I wouldn't have taken it daily as a routine; I would have taken it only when absolutely needed to relieve acute spasm pain. I can't say for sure that I wouldn't have ended up with an addiction anyway, but the odds would have been lower.
Anyway that's the last I'll say on the matter... I'll defer to Fissulyna's expertise on fissures as she knows a lot more than I do there, but I felt it fair to at least say my piece on valium given what I've been through myself. Like with stubborn fissures, unless you've been there yourself with low dose short-term benzodiazepine addiction, you just don't really believe it's possible. And I definitely agree with Fissulyna, please don't insert the pill in your rectum. Even if you do, it won't be absorbed anyway since it's designed to be taken orally. Either take the valium orally or get a proper compounding pharmacy to make the suppositories.