I think that this pressure and that sensation that there is always something left behind is the root of all my problems. The pressure to squeeze so much is what has weakened the skin more around my A. I do not feel that anything is further up than the rectum (in fact usually no problem getting everything through the intestine), but that final part is terrible. Very few days without that sensation of knives pressing down, tiny misshapen faeces, and the feeling that my rectum is a glove that has to be squeezed to get anything out of it. Usually what does come is fairly soft, just impossibly difficult to 'finish'. These last couple of days have been an exception with the pains, etc.
My thoughts on this is that maybe the pudendal nerves are involved, as I have coccyx pain, but maybe it is just the pushing that has done it.
It is a mystery for now. All the best to you wonderful people here.