Anal Fissure Support Forum

Sue27uk · by **Sue27uk** » 16 Aug 2011, 07:04

I think it would be worth it Layla! Focus on the private consultation and see what they say. I have not gone ahead with the botox the guy suggested in my private consultation due to price, am waiting for my NHS appointment but my parents have offered to pay if thats what is suggested and the waiting list is long. I am having some better days, sorry to hear you are suffering. Replied to you on another thread too. Look after yourself, try and keep positive

by **Deleted User 579** » 16 Aug 2011, 07:47

Hey Layla - Good for you for finding a medical loans company! Nice job!
I agree with Val and Sue. Going private will be worth it if that's the quickest and most effective option. I understand how you feel about wanting to be independent and not wanting to burder your parents, but really, this is what family is for. And this is a very different situation than just needing your parents to help you buy a new stereo or whatnot. If any family member of mine was suffering like this I'd have my chequebook out in a heartbeat, and I'd take on some debt to help, without blinking. If it were a child of mine suffering, well, that's totally a no-brainer! Let your parents help you - it will make them feel so much better to see you healthy again, and the loan will be paid back in less than a year. You will have plenty of opportunities to look after them in the future, so you will be paying this back many times over when they are elderly. Okay, enough nagging from me!

Just please don't feel bad - you would do anything to help either of your parents if they were suffering like you are!

Layla85 · by **Layla85** » 16 Aug 2011, 08:44

You're right Hope. I'm seeing my mum tomorrow and I'm going to talk to her about it properly. As i live with my dad rather than her I've spoken more to him about it. I think she will understand. She actually works at Addenbrooks hospital in Cambridge so maybe she'll be a good source of info....
In terms of the finance I think my dad will be the person to ask. I've spoken to him about it briefly before and he was very sympathetic but I'm not sure if that means he will actually pay...I think sometimes it's hard for people to understand just how horrible a condition it is and the frustration of using the NHS for chronic problems, if they haven't had to deal with it themselves. I'm worried they'll just be like 'why can't you just ask to be put on a waiting list with the NHS?' as if it were all so simple.
You're so right about parents helping their kids when they're ill. I just hope they appreciate just how miserable this is making me. I've kept it pretty quiet (mainly because it feels like TMI) and so I hope they take me seriously. Its so weird, I'm properly stressed about not being taken seriously by anyone for some reason lol.
Sue, thanks for your reply. I hope you're doing ok today. I'm not sure if it's finishing my dissertation or the pain getting more persistent but I am getting so down about this. You're right though positivity is the key! I'm gonna reply to your other reply in a little bit, just need to try to work for a bit now. Its a challenge when its painful just sitting down...I just want to be in the bath all the time right now!
Have a good day guys and thank you once again for your support

by **Guest** » 16 Aug 2011, 12:54

ouchtear wrote:My fissure is completely healed I believe..
I guess I was and am lucky.. that My insurance allows me to go to any doctor without a referral from a GP.. So basically I can find a specialist in anything and see them of course if they are accepting new patients.. That's what I did when I had to figured out that it was possibly a fissure myself..3 years later...
I found a doctor that performed many LIS's and went and saw him.. It would be nice if we could all do that..
I do have to pay alot out of my paycheck every month to afford this kind of insurance.
I think it actually saves alot of money..
for example:
When I have dermatology issues WHy would I go to a GP when they don't know shit and can't remove a skin cancer lession.
GP's are just a waste of time..
GP's should be for taking children and other basic needs sick stuff..
It seems like common sense to me..
If only we did'nt have to have these nanny states.
You don't take your transmission to get fixed at the Jiffy lube...
If I know my ass hurts why wouldn't I just go to a CR..
If its hemmeroids so what... I'd rather have a CR tell me that. A GP is just a guy that gives you basic care, blood tests, and prescribes Anti-biotics when your sick..
We are not children and can usually pinpoint the specialist we need.
Obviously if you have a wart and a hangnail then you don't need to go to a hand specialist..
I have not been to my GP in many years..
I just go to right mechanic for the job..
I afraid health care in the USA will eventually all be that way if we have our government running it..
Imagine that.. They can't balance the budget, pay our debts, or run the post office. How are they going to tell me what Doctor I should go to... Scary...
Sorry for the slight Rant..

Ouch, I am 100% agreeing with you! I don't think a GP should be used for anything but the flu. I didn't have medical insurance at the time I got my fissure, but I did find my CRS on my own and got the proper treatment after 4 months of dealing with idiot GP's and two trips to a hospital. My husband went to a GP for a year with ear problems and got no where. I found a ear, nose and throat specialists and he went to him and got the proper treatment.
I really don't understand why the hell all doctors aren't more educated about fissures. It really doesn't seem like it would be that complicated to be educated about a freakin fissure!! Hell- look what we've all learned and I'm far from being a doctor.
My husband is going to do a side job for a GP here in our town that I saw while having my fissure and I asked him to have a talk w/him about my fissure so maybe that would cross his mind when someones having shards of glass and blood!!

Pss.. I am so afraid of the government running our health care system too. I agree with you they can't run anything else. I'd prefer it just stay as it is and I'm one of the Americans that don't have Insurance.
Layla,
I don't think anyone can understand how horrible a fissure is. I told my Mom that I couldn't believe something that hurt so bad couldn't kill you!!
I hope you get some help and are able to get proper care soon!

Layla85 · by **Layla85** » 16 Aug 2011, 13:04

I just tried to speak to my mum about it over the phone. She was pretty nonchalant about it, just all "oh yeah well its really common, sure you'll be fine, just go back to your doctor" etc. She also said the NHS were 'great'. I tried to explain about being in pain nearly every day since november and how I've already tried loads of things, been to the hospital and they didn't do anything and I was really worried about what I could do. I dunno... I don't think she understood. I don't see her much and when I do I try to hide the whole thing. I don't really think she 'got it.' And I really needed her to. Oh man.... :(

val · by **val** » 16 Aug 2011, 14:37

Oh, sorry to hear that Layla. Maybe she didn't know what you were trying to hint at, and thought she was reassuring you, thinking that was what you wanted?? Could you explain outright that you're in agony, totally depressed and the waiting time is likely to be about 6 months down the line, and you can't take it anymore!

by **Deleted User 579** » 16 Aug 2011, 15:03

Aw Layla, I'm so sorry. Maybe Val's right that your mum was trying to be reassuring. But I can understand how listening to how wonderful NHS is would not have cheered you up at this point!
It really sucks when nobody understands how horrible this is! I know it took my hubby watching me sob like a baby before he really understood what was happening. I think it really takes somebody seeing the consequences of a fissure for it to sink in, even a little bit. And there are some things people, no matter how much they love you and care about you, just can't understand. I turned to some family members when I needed practical assistance (help with housekeeping and errands, etc.), but I didn't turn to them for emotional support. I got emotional support from the people here - the boardies here really saved my sanity! So maybe your dad can help with the cash and practical things, and we'll be here to help with the rest of it.

by **Guest** » 16 Aug 2011, 16:12

Oh Layla,
I'm so sorry. I don't think anyone in my family understood until I lost 50lbs and could wear my smallest daughters clothes. I remember crying everyday and only my husband and two oldest daughters really saw the impact this was having on my life and the pain I was in.
I sent my sister a link to this forum and my mother. I think it finally gave them a good idea of what I was going through...

Layla85 · by **Layla85** » 16 Aug 2011, 17:32

I think you guys are right she was probably just trying to reassure me. And I also don't think she was in a very receptive mood- she can be like that sometimes- and it probably didn't go down very well. And maybe she felt like she didn't know what to say. I guess its not the sort of problem that would ever occur to someone who hadn't had a personal experience with it. I think that you're also right in that I should look to my dad more for the practical stuff. I was hoping mum might be a bit more proactive about this but I guess she just doesn't get it. I think I just wanted some sympathy lol. My dad really did. Bless him he nearly started crying when I told him and said "I'm so sorry I had no idea this was going on". He's had some frustrations with the NHS too so I think he understands the hassle I've had more than mum would. I'm gonna speak to him about everything when he's back from holiday.
Really good idea about showing them the forum Dawn. I might do that if I need to.

ouchtear · by **ouchtear** » 16 Aug 2011, 17:40

The UK system seems very frustrating..
Getting a loan for a proceedure seems unbelievable to me.
In the USA your better off being really rich or really poor..
That's the only way you don't pay...
I pay about $400usd a month out of my paycheck and I think my employer pays about 70% of the rest.
So if you do the math its about 12,000 usd a year to insure someone that has a job in the USA on average.
And people wonder why all of our jobs have gone bye bye..

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