As we speak,I am banging my head against the wall! This pain cannot get any worse!
I cannot get the cotton bud into my bum hole now(sorry) seems to have shrunk to tiny proportions. Is this normal? The irritation, itch, burn and stabbing is through the roof. Had a bad BM again this morning and it is worse than ever. I can't do this anymore! Where the hell am I going wrong? Doing the softeners, diet, water, lubricating... Can't even talk about it anymore. Aghhhhhhhhhh

Rachael 1984 I wish I could make everything go away, but as I am writing this I just got a small retear yesterday after two months of feeling great, I saw pink in my toilet paper yesterday, now I am having mild irritation and some spams .
The fight to control this fissures is a long and dissapointed one, but we will survive.

Oh god Marge, sorry you had a re-tear. I am sitting on a heat pad right now, and have taken a pain killer. I think I am letting this affect my head way too much, but I can't stop it.

Rachael 1984 is ok, I took some pain killers too, so I could go and do my afternoon exercises.
Set backs happens and they are expected, I just have to go back and think what I did that cause this mild re tear.
Your anal muscle is so sore that is causing it to contract, I remember when I used to get so tight that I could feel it like a rubber band contracting if I touched the area, funny feeling and reaction that you have not control over.

Rachael 1984 wrote:As we speak,I am banging my head against the wall! This pain cannot get any worse!
I cannot get the cotton bud into my bum hole now(sorry) seems to have shrunk to tiny proportions. Is this normal? The irritation, itch, burn and stabbing is through the roof. Had a bad BM again this morning and it is worse than ever. I can't do this anymore! Where the hell am I going wrong? Doing the softeners, diet, water, lubricating... Can't even talk about it anymore. Aghhhhhhhhhh

Rache, repeat after me a zillion times......there isn't one single pain that I'm feeling that we all haven't felt or are now feeling....dear friend, the fact that you've even had a bowel mov. today makes me jealous....I have yet to have one. I fkkked up yesterday and ate all the wrong foods, should have stuck with my bird seed and water regiment and now I sit here anticipating the worst bm I'll proboally have all year.....its gonna be that bad. I'm dreading the hours before my but will feel better, its gonna be hell and I can feel these little pin sticks coming....reminding me of the hell I'm gonna have when this all hits the fan....please please just hang in there, its gonna be okay in a few hours....

marg6043 wrote:Rachael 1984 is ok, I took some pain killers too, so I could go and do my afternoon exercises.
Set backs happens and they are expected, I just have to go back and think what I did that cause this mild re tear.
Your anal muscle is so sore that is causing it to contract, I remember when I used to get so tight that I could feel it like a rubber band contracting if I touched the area, funny feeling and reaction that you have not control over.

Marge you are soo right, as always.....once we have that bm, that tightness is unreal.....I use think out loud and say, if some guy wanted to no no me from behind, I'd proboally win that battle by ripping his throat out first...wierd thought, but I would think that. Anyways, dear God in heaven, please help us all find a cure that works for this awful desease.

Rachael 1984 wrote:Oh god Marge, sorry you had a re-tear. I am sitting on a heat pad right now, and have taken a pain killer. I think I am letting this affect my head way too much, but I can't stop it.

How can we not think about it, Rache? How can we not??? I wish I could think about anything but the pain after a bm. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work....I'm so tired of it all, so tired of thinking about my as.