Just venting here...

I went the longest stretch I've gone with no pain- probably almost 3 weeks. My husband and I even came down with norovirus during that time. I was violently throwing up and having diarrhea, yet I still had no fissure pain!

Last Sunday I had a setback. I was feeling a bit cocky and decided to surpass Miralax Saturday night and just take 1 Colace. Big mistake. I had a very hard stool that seemed to feel stuck. Lots of blood and pain to follow, all that healing flushed down the toilet. Monday was a very difficult day. Lots of tears from both pain but mainly my disappointment and frustration. I've been very diligent this week with taking my Miralax (which I realize now I will probably be on the rest of my life), eating fiber, etc. Things were slooooowly improving. Then today-- terrible diarrhea and nausea. Fortunately I'm not vomiting but I don't know if it was something I are or noro AGAiN. Ugh.

I've been on the schedule twice for LIS but canceled for the obvious reason of being afraid of the outcome, complications, interfering with pregnancy and whatever else you can think of--I probably already have. I am thankful there is a procedure and it is sort of my fall-back. My doctor told me the decision is completely personal, as it is treating a "symptom". I'm not saying I won't have surgery or I will... I am not crying in pain, I can still function, I'm not obsessed with pooping although I won't say I look forward to it. I'm just not at that place yet.

Has anyone else come to that place and KNOWN it was the next step? I mean, without shadow of doubt? Is there such a place?

Has anyone healed after 6 months with just creams? I realize whoever has, has most likely moved on from this forum.

Anybody out there?

I hope you all are having a healing day!

That was meant for future concerns with pregnancy. I have a little boy, six months, and am NOT pregnant.

Im sorry to hear u are going thru this. I am currently and just had the fissurectomy on this past wednesday. If i understood ur question correctly my answer is yes there ia that moment where the pain gets so bad u know you HAVE TO DO SOMETHING and right then. I also continued to delay the surgery even canceled and rescheduled because i felt " oh it isnt so bad or seems like its goin away" i was scared of the possibilites also. Being in worse pain than inwas before the surgery etc. i felt better today thn even before the surgery but had a bowel movement that wasnt even hard and am back bedridden and in a lot of pain and discomfort. Its not as bad as before bit it still hurts like crazy. Yes i healed off creams but it has always come back. So im hopin the surgery makes a difference and i know to change my eating habits and take stool softeners from now on

Thanks for the reply! How long did you try healing your fissure with creams? Are you happy you did the surgery? What was the last straw that made you decide to move forward?
I'm so sorry you're in pain today. I hope tomorrow is much better!

I dealt with my fissure for a full year. At about 9 months I came to the realization that LIS surgery was likely to be my next option. I had done all that I thought I could to put it off...asking my CRS for any last possible remedies, canceling an appointment and simply waiting and hoping for it to heal with dietary treatment (even though that had been ineffective from the beginning). After spending some time on this site I realized that I was not seeing many (any?) stories of people with chronic fissures suddenly healing without intervention beyond creams, etc.

While my fissure pain was bearable on a daily basis...I was able to go to work/vacations/etc. without any signs of my ailment being noticeable to anyone else (except for my wife)...I realized it was taking a toll on my overall mood. I had dealt with a similar situation with achilles tendon pain for about 3 years when the constant but not debilitating pain wore me down to the point that surgery was pretty much necessary to keep me sane. The slow drip, drip, drip of daily pain simply gets to be too much. The same thinking went into the LIS decision.

I'm now just past 6 weeks since the surgery and progressing well. The relief from fissure pain was almost immediate. Most of my post-op discomfort has come from the incision site which is slowly getting better (I'm in my 40s and finally accepting that a body at this age does not heal as quickly as it used to...this will take some time). My doctor and I talked a lot about the risks with surgery and he painted a convincing picture of extremely high success rates. Don't discount the internet's ability to magnify the negative...it's a simple demonstration of happy customers (of any product) moving on and not dwelling on the past. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi, Tight5. Thanks for the reply!

I'm really happy to hear your surgery has gone so well. I am still open to having the procedure but I'm giving myself a deadline to see if things progress. Perhaps a month.

My doctor basically told me if she were me that she would do everything she possibly could before getting the procedure since I am a young female. But as the time passed and things weren't healing she pretty much made it sound like the surgery is a cake-walk. It's all so confusing and I'm not the best decision-maker.

Did you happen to have any long stretches of no pain? I think that makes the decision much more complicated.

It seems like my fissure is really deep, so I'm wondering if even it does heal, will I be walking on egg shells the rest of my life? Is there another fairly good chance I will retear later on and me in the same situation all over again?

It just feels like either option is hopeless. I certainly am reading more negative than positive since most people who heal don't really come back on this forum.

I still don't know what to do...

Hi Newmommy,

I'm sorry you're dealing with this especially with a new baby. This should be the best time in your life. Not a time of dealing with this stupid pain.

You can look up my username and read my other post but in short I've dealt with this since Sept. 2012 and enough is enough. I've healed and re-torn too many times and just want my life back. The advice you've gotten is pretty much how I've felt. I could function but was so tired of thinking about my butt all the time! I've used all the prescription creams and over the counter as well and while they help and heal it some, it's never been permanent. My LIS surgery is scheduled for April 28th...10 days away. I am scared but I have to do something. I have decided I can't live like this anymore. I've found the best doctor I could find and who I trust completely. My cousin used this same doctor for the same surgery 2 years ago so I'm just getting it over with. I, too, was hoping I could heal completely without surgery but it just isn't happening.

It's a hard decision and only you will really know when to do surgery or not. I completely understand your feelings about either option seeming hopeless. I've been there.

I'm here if you want to talk and sending prayers your way.

Just now seeing this post, oh I feel for you. I'm going through the same thing myself. I've been saying up until now that I planned to do botox before surgery, but the mental toll this is taking on my life is getting to be too much. I'm not really in as much pain anymore as you are but the constant thinking about my butt, what I eat, and being unable to enjoy my life to the fullest is crushing me. I'm now strongly considering surgery over botox because I don't want to prolong this healing process. I keep reading positive accounts of surgery on this forum to mentally prepare myself (Davo's surgery diary is hilarious and inspiring). Newmommy - the other reason I'm considering surgery is for future pregnancies. I was constipated my last pregnancy for at least 4-5 months and how on earth will I survive that with a fissure and fewer oral and topical options available to me? It seems like too much. I almost want to get the surgery just so I can be confident I won't have a recurrence during that time or afterward. The problem, I suppose, is that we are in the highest risk category for incontinence issues (I think because we're going to have more babies?). But in the end I don't think I'll let that stop me. I want my life back and I will eventually take that chance. Sorry, no helpful advice for you. I'm just venting too now.

Hi NM28,
I'm so sorry you are in pain. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you....I have a few days(maybe a week at a push) where I feel things are improving, only to re-tear again, and again. Today has been bad, and I've just cried And cried uncontrollably for a few hours. I'm on my second CRS and he wants to do tests to see if I have high resting pressure and an ultrasound to see how thick my muscle is. He will then decide wether to do LIS. He said I'm almost healed, but it can't live with this constant hell of re tears, fear and missing out on my life.... I'm sure you will make the right decision, and if you are confident with your surgeon, it will probably be the best decision you've ever made. Xxx GL.

Hi NewMommy!

I was also concerned with any future pregnancies with my fissure. I have never had a kid, but it is definitely a desire of mine in a few years (or whenever this fissure heals). I discussed it with my CRS, and he didn't seem very concerned with it. He said it's more of concern in third world countries where the healthcare might not be as good and you would be in labor, pushing longer. He said that labor here is a fairly faster compared to other countries, due to the drugs they can prescribe if they think you've been in labor too long. However, I think if you want to do an all-natural birth, it may be a different story without the use of drugs. Also, there's always C-section, if you are truly concerned. The bottom line for me is that I wouldn't want to birth a child WITH a fissure, and if LIS is going to potentially correct that, it's worth a shot. I hope this helps some. I know there have been a lot of concerns from younger females on this board, and I just wanted to share what my CRS had to say.