Hi folks, my journey has been a long one. The evil began 6 years ago with a bout of the runs, resulting in a fissure and great pain for many months after. I was put on Nitro cream and Miralax. It all helped but only a little bit. Over time things became manageable, but it took 2 years before I was able to live again without thinking about my rear end 24 hours a day.
Bottom line, it never really went away, just became manageable, I would have the odd painful bout and then recover. That was the pattern for a few years.

In the last year I thought I had beaten this thing for good. I had many months of pain free bm's. Back in June for an unknown reason I had my morning bm and that horrible feeling came over me. You all know the feeling - "no no there it is ouch ouch ouch" - and then the cycle begins again, creams, coconut oil, the works, but nothing works.

Now for he first time ever, I have blood on TP - never had that before. My end feels like sandpaper has been scraped over it. I am careful not to wipe, I just wet dab and then shower.

I am at the end of my rope now, I want my bowels cut out and a bag to poop in. I met someone in my city who had LIS...cured for 3 months, but now its all back again, like before the surgery.

I am sorry for ranting - this evil is the gift that just keeps on giving. I think that a fundamental change in the body occurs, and once started, it cannot be stopped.

Now trust me here - I am a healthy person, eat very well, experiment with what I think works - and sometimes I think I have found the solution, but alas, only to be disappointed.

I will stop typing now - I so sympathize with all of us who suffer with this. I do not think that for many of us, there is long term hope of a cure.

Hey there,
I relate to your pain, frustration and hopelessness. I have felt that way too. But you must try to have a more positive attitude when you can. don't get me wrong; I cry, yell at god, moan. But I have to try to be positive when I can and I think you should too. Have you tried botox yet?
Hang in there and keep sharing. This does stink....

Sorry to hear about your pain. I am going through bad pain myself except the fissure has not fully healed internally for 6 months. Month 5 I had botox and fissurectomy, but my doctor never informed me to really have soft stool prior to the surgery. I had been constipated for 2 days just an hour before the surgery probably from too much soluble fiber even with tons of water. So if you decide to do botox make sure that you keep your system primed with whatever works to keep your stool soft.

Don't lose hope. I get angry when I am in the heat of an extreme spasm just because it happens every day or I cry like a baby for an hour before it stops. It isn't fair, but I realize that life never came with a certificate of fairness. Hang in there. It will get better and you will be able to manage life and be happy afterwards even if it means making some lifestyle changes.

i am sorry, I posted this when I was angry, and at my worst.

Absolutely no apologies required in my opinion. We all empathize with you. Hang in there.

We have all been there/are still there, hurtinend. Feel free to rant to your heart's content!