Hi everyone my name is Michael and I have been dealing with a fissure since I was 15 years old. It was just diagnosed as a fissure when I was 19 last year or That is what these doctors say it is I don't even trust them anymore. Every morning I wake up and am scared to go to the bathroom I am a college student. I don't go through this extreme pain that you guys go through I think or I am just used to it. I have this burning after every bowel movement, That burns in the anus and also gives me this continuous sensation That makes me feel like I need to pee, the burning goes all the way to my male privates(this makes me want to kill myself I have though about it multiple times, and almost about to do it if it doesn't stop soon) I have had THREE botax injections, I have had one LIS. Nothing has worked not one damn thing I don't know what to do anymore I honestly just want to end mylife. This burning I don't know if everyone experiences it but i have had it for to long and I just want it to be over it is driving me
Mentally crazy. I honestly feel like I am losing it.

Have you tried doing a sitz bath?

For the last year and a half I thought they were silly and didn't think it would help. But after my recent fistulotomy I tried a sitz bath since the nurse gave me a free one and I wanted to keep my new gash clean. It was excellent, within 20 seconds the burning went away and the pain was gone.

I take sitz bath those help only when im in the water then when I get out it comes back. Please i really need support I know suicide is not normally the option but for this It might be. I would rather be dead then in constant misery.

Can anyone help me?

Hi Michael.

So sorry you are feeling so bad. Do you have family that could help you? Otherwise, please call someone - a help-line is what I used when I was at my lowest. I have had a lot of pain and contemplated all sorts of things, but in the end decided my bum was not the be all and end all of every bloody thing. I know that you have tried everything and you are losing patience with it all. What I did (and I am a woman) was anal dilation. You will probably think that sounds weird, but in the end it was the only thing that gradually (with a lot of patience and time) reduced the pain to the point that I could - mostly - enjoy life. Dilation, in fact, is mostly what they use in Europe ( and not the old fashioned with the fingers type).

Being nineteen and going through this rubbish is no fun, but contemplating ending it all is not the way to go. We are here for you, and that is what the group is for. Do search on the group too for anything you think might help you. There are a lot of different answers here, and many many people who have recovered and gone on with their lives. The number of this by far exceeds the lot still here.

I mean I understand that some peoples fissures heal, but i hear most of the time people have to live with their fissures for the rest of their lives? is that true? Can they actually never go away?

A fissure heals. The spasms go away. I have never heard of a fissure not ever healing. Your anus 'trains' itself to go into spasm to compensate for the pain. It's like any other part of your body. It reacts to pain by going into a spasm in an attempt to heal and you need to work on this with something like bio feedback which is similar to dilation, but done by a nurse :). Personally, I did not want that. A spasm, as you probably realize is very similar to a cramp in your calf... A pain in the arse!!

We have all gone through a similar hell on here.You are not alone.

You are not alone Michael! Don't do anything to hurt yourself PLEASE. Many of us on here have been so low but in the end find answers to our troubles. Don't give up hope that there is a solution for you. You are so young and I know you have tried a lot but there are still things to try. Have you gotten multiple opinions from Doctors (particularly as to why your LIS did not work). Have you been tested for inflammatory bowel disease? If LIS didn't work you could get another one or a surgery called anoplasty. Where are you located?

In the immediate time frame have you tried muscle relaxants or antianxiety medication (like valium)? These can work on spasms.

Michael,

Check out this guide I wrote: guide-to-anal-discomfort-t9440.html

Have you looked into food allergies? Unless you have diarrhea you shouldn't be feeling burning sensations on your skin.

Also, constantly feeling like you need to pee could be a urinary tract infection. When is the last time you got a urine and blood test? If the burning reaches your penis then it sounds like there is more going on than a fissure.