Hi, I have been experiencing anal and digestive problems for some time now. I will explain the whole situation to paint a picture of where I am now.
I am a 20 year old gay man and last summer I had anal sex as the receiver. Unfortunately it was a random encounter and I was penetrated without a condom or lube. A few days later I began to experience an anal fissure. There was blood and unbearable pain during bowel movements. First I was fearful that I had obtained an STD but soon found out from a doctor that it was a fissure. He prescribed me some lidocaine to help with the pain and said it would be gone soon. The cream didn’t seem to work and the pain continued. In addition I also became very constipated and decided to see a doctor again for STD testing just in case. After this it slowly became better and then returned. At this stage I began experiencing spasms that further irritated my anus. I believe all of this to have continued and escalated due to emotional stress, as well as regret from the initial incident.
After a while the fissure itself got better but I still dealt with extreme spasms and anal discomfort as my anus became extremely tight. I had used coconut oil and Dr. Wheatgrass which both helped heal the wound, but the tightness was still there. After more doctor visits I was prescribed with more creams, although they weren’t very effective. As the new school year was approaching I did not want to deal with this issue. Finally the doctor and I decided that botox injections would maybe be the answer. So, last August I had the surgery done. After the surgery I seemed to have gotten better, and the fissure did heal. Despite this I still dealt with an extremely constricted anus and internal spasms that very much bothered me.
This past semester I just spent studying abroad in Europe. Before leaving I began to experience some problems again. Once again my anus was very tight and the spasms kept bothering me, irritating my anus and the healed fissure. At times it feels like there is a balloon in my anus. Whenever I’m stressed it gets tight and spasms. It’s like I hold all of the tension in my body in this location. My doctor prescribed me Valium suppositories that did help in calming down the area. Finally I got to my destination and things got much better once I was studying abroad. During the semester I experienced some constipation and anal spasms again but nothing too serious. I was having fun and very much distracted from my thoughts. I was also very active and eating well which I feel really helped my body.
Towards the end though, I once again had trouble. I ended up having unprotected sex with a stranger, as the pitcher. Everything was fine but I was really worried I may have caught an STD. After about a month I took some vague symptoms as a sign that I definitely had gonorrhea or chlamydia. So, during the last week of my program I went to a doctor for testing and decided to get the shot/pill to cure gonorrhea/chlamydia. Sure enough I had nothing, but the medication I took had some side effects. I ended up having severe, watered down diarrhea that began to irritate my anus. The area began to itch and bother me; I assumed they were hemorrhoids acting up. After about five days of diarrhea I returned to normal stool consistency, although it became painful to pass. My last week abroad I had a bowel movement where blood was present when I wiped. Immediately I freaked out and thought my fissure returned. There was not much pain except during the bowel movement, and only a small amount of blood. The next few days it got better and I realized it was just hemorrhoids acting up from the medication and diarrhea.
Once back in Chicago for a few days things got better. My bowel movements became easier and little blood. My anus was still very tight and it just felt uncomfortable to go. Before each bowel movement I put coconut oil or Vitamin A and D oil on to lubricate the passing. This helps but still hurts sometimes. After being in Chicago for a few days I moved back to my hometown. Here I am always really emotionally stressed from my crazy family and stuff so it’s not the best place. I became very constipated and didn’t have a bowel movement for several days. At this point my anus seemed much better (still putting coconut oil/Vitamin E oil/Dr. Wheatgrass on). In fact, it even felt more relaxed. I was still really constipated and took Miralax and finally I had a bowel movement. At this point the stool was very large and really hurt when it came out. Once again there was blood when I wiped. I freaked but said it was hemorrhoids. Upon looking at my anus it looks fine, but when pushed out looks like a purple ring. It’s like my whole anus is a hemorrhoid. Since that bowel movement every time I have one it hurts and bleeds when it comes out. My anus has gotten extremely tight; I can’t even really get my finger inside. When I defecate it feels like my anus re-rips open, pulling at the hemorrhoids. I do not strain or anything. In addition I still lubricate my anus before bowel movements. I also eat extremely well and drink lots of water. All I eat are whole grains, fruits, vegetables, organic and not processed stuff for the most part. But still I get constipated and have hemorrhoids and anal problems. The bottom line is my anus is just too tight. After I go it heals back up then re-rips. Yesterday I didn’t have a bowel movement but today I did. This time it was very large and long and when it came out it really hurt. When I wiped there was lots of fresh blood. I now believe that my fissure has reopened due to the location of the pain and blood. I am really worried and therefore posting this now. I am scared it’s just going to get worse if I don’t find a solution ASAP.
So, I just don’t know what to do. Somehow I need to open my anus and it get it stretched out to a normal tone. Otherwise it’s a vicious cycle of being hurt every time I defecate. Is there some type of procedure or medical device that can open up and relax the anus? The problem is now my anus is tore again, in addition to hemorrhoids. I need to somehow shrink the size and girth of my stool so it won’t rip me when it comes out. Is there something I can take to make my stool really soft and thin, while at the same time not bothering my hemorrhoids? I’ve been taking Miralax and stool softeners. If I can stop this cycle and get myself healed I think I can buy a toy or something to relax my anus and get it back to normal.
All of this stuff really sucks and has put a damper on my life. It’s now been over a year since I first experienced a fissure and I’m still having problems. I no longer want to go hang out with friends or get out of the house due to the discomfort. I have no motivation to do anything except lay around. I am supposed to get a job this summer but don’t feel I can when I’m dealing with stuff like this. Ever since that first incident I have had problems with my anus. It’s all very discouraging. I just want my body back and the ability to run around and not feel limited due to my anus bothering me. Before I was penetrated I never had any problems. Maybe some minor hemorrhoids but nothing else. I also had anal sex several times and never had a problem. Everything else in my life is great. I have bad anxiety and depression sometimes but I’ve been meditating every day for about 4 months now; it’s really helped. I just want to fix this problem once and for all so I can enjoy my life to the fullest.
One other question….do you think I’ll ever be able to have anal sex again? At this point I have no intention and all I want is to be cured, but I am gay and that’s how we have sex. Am I permanently damaged or will it heal to the point one day I can return to a normal sex life? (This time with lubrication!!)
I sincerely appreciate any and all help with this as I really need it. Monday I am seeing a doctor so I hope he can help me out. Thank you all

My fissure isn't fully healed, but I feel I'm on the right track now after several relapses. I've had mine for about four months. My stools have stayed very soft and thin with a combination of Miralax and lots of fruit (in particular mango, papaya, blueberries and cherries) and plenty of water, and I snack on prunes and avoid white flour and white rice and processed stuff. It took a lot of trial and error to get my diet just right, so that stools weren't too hard or too soft. At first I used Metamucil but that made stools too bulky and made things worse. I also cut out dairy. I decided to eat dairy again after I was feeling better and had a minor relapse, so I cut it out again. I've decided to maintain a perfect diet for about a year, even if I don't feel any fissure pain at all in that time, because they take so long to fully heal. One thing that's helped me a lot is if I feel like I have to strain at all to have a BM, instead of straining I use a glycerin suppository and leave in for 30 minutes. I'm not taking any chances! As for anal sex, I'm not sure but I would think you could go back to a normal sex life if you heal completely, but healing takes a while and I now know that even if you haven't felt any pain for weeks or even months that still doesn't mean it's fully healed and you have to continue being careful. If I were you I would always use some kind of toy to gradually "warm up" before engaging in anal sex in the future, but I'm no expert on that subject! If I maintain my diet for a year and I still have a relapse when I go back to a more normal diet, then I think I'll get surgery done because people seem to have pretty good results from that, and I can't be that careful and worry about it for the rest of my life.