New here, 29yo gay male considering surgery.

Horrible anal fissure experience.

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New here, 29yo gay male considering surgery.

Postby Pickles » 20 Sep 2021, 21:25

Hello, nice to meet you all!!
I'm going to try and be as concise and as straight to the point about my situation and goals as possible... I do have the tendency to get really carried away when explaining. Anyway!! I've been dealing with anal fissures for about 2 years now. I want to start by saying, I wouldn't wish something like this upon anyone... Not even my worst enemy. Anyway!! I had no idea why I even got the first fissure... I chalked it up to having a sexual encounter and playing too rough. I ended up being able to heal it with conservative management. Took like 2 months to heal over. I thought that I was all the way better and decided to have another sexual encounter. I guess the toy was too big this time, ended up with 2 new fissures (anterior) and also the old one split back open again (posterior) 3 fissures, great!! They were taking forever to heal, 2 or 3 months. I suspected that something was wrong with my health because of this, got tested for STDs and then came up positive for HIV, Syphilis, and Herpes. At the time I wanted to die. I got treatment for the other stuff and what do you know the fissures got better almost instantly after. I want to say that mine started as physical trauma and then we're not healing due to my underlying heath conditions. Anyway!! I obstained from any sexual activity for over a year. I thought that dispute the grotesque skin tags left behind that I was healed and could go back to having sex like normal. Side note: my boyfriend of 10 years is aware of all of this and has been helping me through it all. When having sex with him, I felt some discomfort and at the time chalked it up to having hemorrhoids. I then wanted to know for sure... So in the past 2 months we have had sex a handful of times and I have also inspected up there myself. Here is what I believe to be the problem now. Scarring. Although the exterior skin tags are annoying, they only produce slight pain. What's producing the majority of the pain is the internal scarring that I have. The hypertropied papillae. The scarring gets highly irritated with friction and leaves me feeling very sore and stretched after sex. Where as I used to be able to have sex for hours and hours, now I can hardly make it 10 min. How fun is that? Definitely considering surgery at this point. I have tried to heal myself naturally every which way, I'm also going to try dilation and also massaging the scar tissue, but I don't think it will change much considering that the fissures were severe and left me with really bad scarring. That and I don't know if I really want to be spending hours a day with my fingers up my ass trying to fix something that maybe I cannot fix. Anyway!! I just want to go back to having normal fun sex with my boyfriend again. As you can probably assume, I have an overwhelming sense of guilt. Wishing that I would have just taken better care of myself and I'm afraid that I took things for granted and that it won't be the same ever again. I have a plan. Luckily my employer does provide really great insurance. So I'm planning on switching to the plan that they have with no deductable, that way surgery can be as cheap as possible. I'll have to wait until around the new year for this to happen though, so I have some time to research and get opinions. The idea of surgery really frightens me and it would be my first. I guess here is my real question and biggest concern. If I get the surgery will I be able to enjoy sex or anal play again?? I feel like I need it now because sex doesn't feel normal, it actually causes me more grief than enjoyment. Would the scar tissue be removed and would that give me a chance to hear better? I'm just not sure if the surgery would put me in a better position that I am now. I just wish I could know if it was worth it. All the effort time money ect. Hoping to hear from you!! Much love!!
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Re: New here, 29yo gay male considering surgery.

Postby Fissurefrustration » 25 Nov 2021, 07:09

Hi Pickles,
welcome to the group - What a story... I'm so sad to hear of your issues and what you've been through. I'm also gay and have had butt pain on and off for so many years it is just another part of my life. Luckily recently, I've discovered diltiazem, dilation and a vitamin c+e oil which has helped my scar tissue. My fissures are healed but like yourself I struggle with my scar tissue that just wont stretch... BMs are fine, but sex makes it awfully sore and I feel sharp pains for days after but no blood. So I put it all down to the scar.
have a read of my diary to see what I've done and been through - each person heals differently but I've had some better luck with some methods. strongly think about surgery, it's a big thing to go through and has potential side effects. have you considered botox, dilatation or GTN/Diltiazem?
Suffering since June 2013

Methods tried:
GTN cream - migraines!
Manuka Honey / Coconut oil / Aloe
tag excision X 2, botox x 3
dilatation 2 X daily + Retin-C Vitamin Scar Treatment Oil 2 X daily - best thing ever.
Now pain free 2/7/21
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