hiya i have been a member for a while but lost track of it so thought i would start again. i have suffered with my fissure for nearly 5 years a month or so after having my first child. to begin with, it was such a slight pain but i still saw my gp, i was never looked at, just told it was piles and was given pile cream which obviously didn't treat it. it wasn't until one night the pain was that bad my mum took me to a&e and a doctor finally looked at me said it was a fissure and gave me cream. it didn't work. no cream ever worked on me, it has never healed. i was sent to see the consultant at hospital, i have had 2 anal stretches, neither worked. i was told there is an operation but they wouldn't do that for me as it could cause problems in later life, incontinence i guess. after the last time i had my anal stretch the consultant signed me off back to my gp as there was nothing more he could do apparently but i'm not convinced. before i had a fissure i was always once maybe twice a week person to go to the toilet and that hasn't changed since having a fissure. i was tested inside (can't remember the name of it) i had a balloon blown up inside to see how much my bowel could take, and it was apparently alot, but still i don't know what that has to do with it when i told everyone repeatedly i've never been the type of person to go every single day. this has taken over my life i dread the day i have to go. i stopped working because i was always going off sick because i would be doubled up in pain, (then i got pregnant with my second child so have been a stay at home mum since) i ended up having an emergency c section with my second daughter, and in a way i was relieved although that was traumatic, because i was so terrified of pushing when i had a fissure already. i am a single mum and its become even more difficult. i know holding it in doesn't help the situation but when i have two little ones to look after its difficult so i try holding on until the evening when they are in bed asleep. there are times when i can't help but go during the day which isn't helpful leaving the kids on their own. only good thing is that i am in quite a small flat so i am still near them. oh and everytime i go i have to have a bath straight after. it helps soothe it a bit. i have told the consultant, my gp constantly how much this affects my life and how its not good when i have two kids to look after but nobody listens. in fact i last saw my gp a few months ago to try and get me referred back to the consultant and she told me i would have to live with it. i could have screamed. i can't live in pain like this and go through the same routine every week for the rest of my life its ridiculous and it gets me down so much. any advice or things you do to help would be great to hear from