yesterday I was in really severe pain from 8 am until 11 pm, it lasted all day and nothing made it any better, I was crying on the sofa, crying in the bath and crying in bed. Eventually I took valium and pethidine and felt so spaced out that the pain didn't matter so much, but for a while I was hoping that I woudn't have to wake up again-ever!Then I got upset and felt guilty because I have children who need me, but I don't feel like a good wife or mother or anything at the moment, just rolling around in agony, it seems like it will never end and I feel I have no lifeI'm even tempted to go and get the surgery done, but I have a needle and blood phobia and an extremely bad experience of hospitals. HELP!

I have had really bad days like that too. Where I thought the pain would never end and if I could even go on like this. When I felt like I was going to give up I felt like God was saying, what if you give up and tomorrow your break through comes. So I held on to that and eventually I did get better.
I am wondering if maybe the surgery would be a good alternative. It seems like you are at your wit's end. That is usually not the best time to make decisions but I know for some of the people who got surgery they just got fed up and felt like it was a way to take control of the situation.
I have had numerous surgeries and have had two babies and having surgery is easier. At least you get to go to sleep or they knock out the pain. And you don't have to be up for the next 6 months with a crying infant!! :D My point is, you are stronger than you think! So if you do end up needing surgery you will be fine.
Do you have any family or friends that can help you out? Are you taking enough pain medicine? I don't know what pethidine is. I wonder if these medicines are making your moods worse?
Hope you feel better,
Lecia

I'm taking ibruprofen and paracetamol, but sometimes they work and sometimes they don't, there's no pattern to it. My mum and dad have been brilliant at helping out and so has my husband. My son, who is 13 has aspergers syndrome which is a mild form of autism, and I home educate him, which I'm finding difficult but at least ther's no school run to do! I've got a 23 year old daughter with a 3 year old daughter of her own and they only live a few miles away too.
Thanks for your support, the doctors are useless and the only sensible advice I have got is from all of you.
Oh, and pethidine is that strong pain relief they give you when in labour! I don't actually take it unless the pain is totally unbearable, but I take the valium every night in the hope that it will relax it all and heal it during the night, but I'm just guessing!
Thanks again,
Val

Val,
I'm so sorry you were in that much pain. I'm always a little hesitant to add my two bits on this forum as I'm such a newcomer, but I definitely know the following about fissures. You probably already know all this, but for your benefit, I'll go ahead and list them.
1. When you have pain, your internal sphincter is almost always going to tighten. That tightening is going to cause more pain in the fissure. That pain is going to keep your sphincter tight ...an endless circle...until something is done to loosen that sphincter. I used very warm Sitz baths immediately following a BM, dried off by touching a bath cloth to the area, and applied Nifedipine ointment.
2. The consistency of the stool must be soft and smooth CONSISTENTLY (Miralax is the only med that helped me with that). If it's not consistently soft, the fissure will be abraded and will not heal.
Putting myself in your situation, I think I would call my doctor, day or night, to see what he/she would suggest for that terrific, acute pain. I don't like needles, either, but I'd welcome one for relief of pain like yours.
Have you tried Botox? Before my fissure healed (I'd had it 4 years!), I was leaning towards trying it. As I understand it, several injections can be given.
Sending good wishes your way....

I have had days like this too. Although my fissure slowly healed over the course of 1 1/2 years (with some set backs tdue to an abscess and surgery for the abscess), the memory is not a fond one. Even now, when I have days with slight pain (from a hemmie turned small fissure), I fear that i will wake up the next morning with that pain again. I don't though (knock on wood).

What finally helped me make it over the last hurdle towards healing was botox. No more sphincter clench, far less pain, far more healing. Getting Botox is really simple. I didn't even need a numbing shot, just bent over in the CRS office and 5 mins later it was done. (I do have to warn that it irritated my roid and that is what made it eventually turn into a small fissure, but I do have to say that this pain is bearable, annoying but bearable. Franlky, I would have given anything for merely annoying pain 6 mos ago.) You still do have to keep your poo super soft though. Otherwise, you still won't heal even after the botox. Have you tried Milk of Magnesia?
Usually 1 Tablespoon a night was all I needed to keep the consistency soft enough for healing. Although right after the surgery, I did need 2T a night for a few weeks (I did get cut down to the muscle along the entire length of me anal canal though).

Does the milk of magnesia make it too soft, and do I still need to take the flax oil and aloe vera juice as well, and at the same time or a long time apart? I don't want to be in the loo all day!
The stuff the doctor gave me, lactolose, made me go 17 times in one day!!!

I think you would be OK trying the MOM along with the flax oil. Why not try a half tablespoon at first, and see how that goes?
No, you definitely don't want to be in the bathroom all day, but stool softeners and MOM should not cause that.
MOM is great for many AF sufferers, as BG has indicated, but I have to admit it did make my stools a bit too soft, although I may have been overdoing it, as I was taking colace also. Everyone's system is a bit different.

Val,
I had similiar pain issues too. Hang in there. I take Colace, Fisol and Flax seed caps everyday. I changed my diet to fruits, veggies, fish, wheat bread and lots of water. I eat no junk at all. I also increaseed my fiber. I took Lecias advice I have All Bran Buds every morning on top of All Bran Flakes and Soy milk. I am going to eat healthy from now on, I have learned a valuable lesson and I never want to have this pain agian.
I am also a Botox queen and it has helped me greatly. Don't be afraid of it ask your doctor. It was very easy and I went uner anesthesia. Botox gave me my life back, but I stick to my routine. Warm baths helped alot and so did Advil. I also had to learn how to relax because this fissure made me tense and nervous.
Don't worry it will get better. Please come to us anytime for some comfort and reassurance.
Take Care
Patty

Thank you so much everyone, I don't know what all this would have been like without you all, you are all wonderful support!
The thing is, I'm not sure we have botox over in the UK, we don't even have nefedipine or advil, I think we're still in the dinosaur ages!!
I have at least 3 hot baths a day, sometimes with epsom salts sometimes with savlon, my diet is perfect now, I haven't eaten even one bad thing since I found out what I should be eating, I have lost a lot of weight because I'm scared to eat- what goes in , must come out!!1 although it doesn't always work like that!
I've learnt so much from this forum, and I am very, very grateful!
Val

Wow-you don't have ibuprofen over there? I can send you some if you like.