I don’t expect anything from my post, it’s more about sharing what is going on for me with people that understand.

I have been suffering from anal fissures for about 10 months now. I don’t think there’s a link with the birth of my son (who is now 1) directly, but I do believe post birth diet of bread and dehydration from breastfeeding hasn’t helped.

My diet is gluten free, dairy free, compact food free (anything difficult to digest), and hot food free as advised by my acupuncturist. So not very exciting for someone who loves their food. I take 2 sachets of movicol everyday to keep my stool soft and drink a hell of a lot of water.

I have had three rounds of Botox with the third round wearing off currently. Now as I type this I am sat on a hot water bottle after pain from a bowel movement at 7am (now 1pm). My day consists of me waking up at 4:30am to take a 600mg ibuprofen in the hope of helping the pain with my first bowel movement. I don’t push, I don’t strain, I sit and wait for it to happen. My stool is as soft as it can be yet it tears my anus to shreds resulting in a lot of blood. The excruciating pain after will only subside if I squat in a sitz bath. The anal tags I have are now throbbing. I pray to god I don’t have to have another bowel movement but if I do, I go through it all again.

My boy is 1 and I am not half the mum I want to be. My quality of life is so poor as all I can think about is the next bowel movement, whether the food I choose to eat will affect it and the consequent pain. Because of the tags I cannot sit on my backside and instead have to sit to the side. I will randomly get shooting pains throughout the day through my rectum that I have to breathe through to ease the pain.

So I have had three rounds of Botox and a flexible sigmoidoscopy. I have read about a lateral sphincterotomy and spoke to my consultant about having it but they were reluctant to perform it as worried about incontinence. I have now been referred to another specialist hospital to see what they can do. I am according to them their worst case. I cannot continue like this. It feels like my life is on hold. I would love to have more children but at the moment need to survive everyday.

I am glad I have got all this off my chest.

One can only imagine what you've been through and how you managed to live with this for so long.
It is clear botox doesn;t help and since you are in so much pain while keeping stools soft I wouldn;t hesitate in asking for LIS. Did a CRS saw you already? This isn;t life you need to break this vicious circle.
I wish you best of luck in finding the way out soon.

Thank you. No this isn’t life and I do feel like I am merely exhisting. Yes I have already been seen by two CRS in one hospital. The last consultant was adamant this last round of Botox would perform miracles yet here I am again in this horrible cycle. I dread waking in the morning in anticipation of the pain I have go through. My son needs a healthy, active mum and not the shell I have become. So I am waiting to be seen by a different consultant and I pray that they can provide some solution to this awful problem I am experiencing. Thank you for listening and taking the time to respond. I appreciate it.

Please ask your doctor for a more effective pain medication. There are suppositories they can prescribe to help with this like a combination of lidocaine and a muscle relaxant. Also, if you are still breastfeeding, a low estrogen level could delay healing, which is something to discuss with the gynecologist. I hope you find a doctor who can help you soon.

Welcome to the forum you have come to the right place. I know what you mean about life on hold. This year I've had too many days of lying down clutching my underneath and crying. With a small child as well you must be exhausted. It sounds like have done all the right things. I'm hoping the new specialist helps you. You need to make it clear this is not just a bit sore it is ruining your life. Meantime I agree with patience see your doctor for pain meds that are more effective. Don't lose hope but it will take time and you have to be kind to yourself. It's the hardest thing as it's not something people ever talk about. When I had back pain issues it hurt but I cou!d tell people.

I'm writing after years since I had my surgery and moved on with my life. I do visit here every couple of months especially when I have some kind of a recurrence (but they also heal in a couple of weeks of me looking after them). I'm a guy but I can totally understand your pain. More than being physical, it's mental. The anticipation of a bad BM, the anxiety of it healing or not it's just too much. My suggestion would be to take multiple opinions and understand how LIS would turn out for you. It's the best way to deal with a fissure and is considered a very minor and a very very safe surgery. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Simplebutt- did you get pain or soreness AFTER healing? My issue is I’m healed according to CRS but my scar? Or whatever is still giving me soreness after a bm - it’s getting better very very slowly but it feel like it’s never going to stop entirely hurting.

Stayingpositiveyes,

I spoke to my CRS about LIS as well and although she’s not so keen on doing it on women due to us having a shorter sphincter muscle, she still says it’s an option if Botox fails. She also mentioned they usually do a ‘limited’ one on women so the risk of incontinence is a lower as you grow older. If LIS is your best bet to heal, maybe worthwhile talking to your CRS to get more information.