so i called the CRS at Kaiser, and scheduled another appointment. i've decided to give Kaiser one more chance to help me.... :roll:
I kind of just want to talk to the CRS again, and get her advice about long-term MOM use and/or the possibility of a botox shot. I don't want any kind of exam, except maybe just a finger to feel the fissure... but nothing that will set me back or hurt me! i know i need to be assertive otherwise she'll jump right in and rip my fissure open looking at it!
so, surprisingly, my appt is Monday! they had an opening and i took it. I'll let you all know how it goes and what my plan of action is after i see her.

that's my girl. can't wait to hear what she says. don't be scared. take something to relax your nerves b4hand if you can. best of luck lady!

Wow-glad you got in so quickly and hope it goes well!

Good for you, Juney. Hope she's gentle with you.
Thinking of you.

just got back from the dr. she was pretty nice and it didn't hurt as much this time (i think that's because i'm more healed than i was last time!) she just spread the cheeks and looked at the anus. she even stuck a finger in. that didn't hurt at all, she used lots of lube and she has tiny fingers!
she didn't see anything, which is good! she said she remembered seeing the "divit" where the fissure was last time. i used to be able to see it as well, and haven't recently. i think that means the exterior part of the fissure has healed. she also didn't feel anything abnormal.
her biggest concern, like mine, is that i'm too young to be relying on MOM every day. she wants me to try and cut back even more (maybe 1/2 tablespoon) and see if i can eventually manage normal BMs w/o pain. she did say there aren't really any conclusive studies about long-term saline laxative use and she said it's not likely that having soft-runny BMs every day will make my sphincter tighter than it already is. good to hear!

we decided to do botox in the office in about 3 months if i feel like it still hasn't healed enough to have a normal poo. she said she doesn't use anasthetic in the office b/c the anasthesia shot usually takes longer and is more painful than the botox itself.
anyone had botox done in-office w/ no local anasthetic? was it horrible??
Also, she had no explanation why someone like me could have 2 surgeries and still be having some fissure pain. She gave me the option of a full exam under GA but i don't want that now. I'm gonna give it a few more months!

Great news Juney _ You survived exam : )) !!!! Cut back MOM very gradually - spread it over the weeks - whatever she said - your butt is now used to soft poo - believe me - I had just fluffy poop for 5 months and one ordinary, not even hard one teared me apart. Just take it easy and all will be fine : ) !!!
All the best !

I have botox in the office. I wasn't terribly painful, no worse than bm everyday. however, the dr did inject through a hemmie and the injection site stung lilke crazy for about 3 months.

that's great news juney.
keep up the good work and hopefully in 3 months you will not need the botox.
but if you do, sounds like buttgirl was able to deal with it just fine.

Hey, Juney, really glad to hear that you seem to be healing.
I had a botox shot a few months ago without anesthesia and it wasn't bad -- not nearly as bad as I thought a needle in the anus would feel. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't pleasant, but not that much worse than a regular shot. I would not hesitate at all to get another one. After my office visit, I had no pain whatsoever from the injection site. So I don't be nervous about it.

So glad that you got to see her. I had botox with local so I can't be any help on that subject but the local was an injection just like the botox and it hurt but was bearable. Botox w/o the local is kinda the same thing. A needle in your bum that will hurt for a few seconds. The local does however provide numbness to the area for a few hours which is nice however the pain I felt afterwards was pretty awful so either way you're in for some pain in the anal region whether or not you have the local. As for the MOM, ease off slowly but as u do so add more metamucil or whatever fiber power/supplement you use (just at night). Please be careful and know that we are only a computer away.