Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

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Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby Sarah55 » 17 Dec 2017, 06:32

Hi everyone,

First time posting here. I have a chronic anal fissure. I used to have two, but I had a fissurectomy where my dr cut both of them out, but unfortunately one of them did not heal properly, so I'm due for surgery again in January :(
My fissures have always caused a lot of pain, but something I personally struggle the most with is how lonely they make me feel. If I'm hurting, and I'm not around my parents or partner, I don't know how to say what is wrong with me and why I need to leave, or have to cancel; or why I have to have surgery, etc. I have to meticulously plan when I leave the house (what if I need the bathroom while I'm out? What if a friend or stranger hears me crying in the toilet?) and I'm so self conscious about how long I take in the bathroom, and having to drag my plastic tub (for sitz baths) out of the shower, and my house mates seeing it. It just makes me feel so lonely. Anyone else have this?? :( anyone had any luck "getting over it"?

Sarah
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby William2 » 17 Dec 2017, 07:32

I go with the "chronic pain that fluctuates in severity" excuse.

As for dealing with the issue, I find that I get really depressed and unable to handle the situation when left alone for too long. I've had bad emotional crises each time that my wife has been out of town. These problems are really difficult to deal with, and I sure haven't figured out how yet. I tell myself to just "deal with it", but that is easier said than done. Your situation is especially difficult because you have to live with people that you have to hide your problems from.

Please realize that many other people are going through similar problems and understand what you are going through. If you are feeling bad or lonely, this forum is a great place to engage with sympathetic people.
8/09 - 12/10: fissure, cured by LIS/fissurectomy
1/17 - present: fissure/hemms, healed but pain remained, 3 CRSs (nifedipine, infrared coag) were no help, cold dilating >= 1" helped but still have pain when sitting
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby Mypoorbutt » 17 Dec 2017, 09:57

Hi Sarah,
I’m a very outgoing person who has crohns and I’m also doing a counselling degree....so I have never hidden what is wrong with me.
I have probably gone too far the other way and tell anyone about my fissure. But what I did notice was that actually quite a few people suffer from fissures. My hairdresser, two acquaintances who I talk to when walking my dog and a couple of people who I go swimming with. I openly complained about how awful I was feeling and the agony of spasms and they were so very happy to be able to talk to someone who can understand.
In my head if I’m in pain people need to know why I will be a bit snappy, I told a class full of 30 people who I had only known 3 months that I was having Botox in my butt.
Now I’m not saying be like me lol....as I’m sure I scare people on trains etc talking about my butt, but I think the more friends and colleagues know the better they can understand. A fissures is the worst pain imaginable...so people need to know why I was carrying a pink fluffy cushion everywhere and could only poop at home.
What op are you having in Jan, will you be having the LIS
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby Sarah55 » 17 Dec 2017, 18:01

Thank you William and "Mypoorbutt"!

Now that I think about it, the times I've been most upset about it have always been when my partner wasn't home to distract me.
When I had my last surgery, I opened up to my housemates and told them what was going on, but I guess I still feel weird about them being able to tell exactly when my butt is playing up. >.<
I had an LIS last time, so in Jan I'm just getting another fissurectomy.
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby hurtinend » 17 Dec 2017, 20:16

what you describe are the issues experienced by people in chronic pain.
My doctor has just referred me to a chronic pain clinic...apparently they teach you ways to deal with your pain and reduce it ( not by using medication)
Might be worth asking your doctor about one in your area.
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby Sarah55 » 18 Dec 2017, 05:50

thanks hurtinend, I had really good results after the first surgery, so I am hopeful that after this next surgery in Jan the journey will be over. :(
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby hurtinend » 18 Dec 2017, 19:35

I hope so too!
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Re: Embarrassing health problems and feeling lonely

Postby missy moo » 06 Feb 2018, 03:46

Hi sarah55 how are you? How did the fissurectomy go? I'm having one in 6 days and an freaking out about it.
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