Enough

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Enough

Postby AJStyles » 30 May 2017, 09:23

Alright, this shit is pissing me off right now to the fullest. I was never so aggressive before in my life. I take Movicol, I drink water, i eat those fucking fibre crap, and still i had fucking hard stool TODAY and YESTERDAY. ITS HURTING!!! I could take a fucking gun and do terrible things. I have really really bad thoughts the whole day, feeling like a fucking psycho, and all that because of this little fissure???

A Human can only take so much pain. There is nothing in this fucking disgusting world that compares to this. How can a normal person keep his stools soft forever? ITS JUST NOT POSSIBLE!!!!! ITS JUST NOT!!!!

WILL THIS HEAL?? HOW IS THAT MOTHERFUCKER OVER THERE HEALED IN 4 WEEKS WITH 1 LIS AND I GOT 2 LIS AND ITS 8 WEEKS AGO AND I AM STILL NOT NEARLY HEALED? I AM NOT PROGRESSING AT ALL!!!!!! ITS GETTING WORSE WITH EVERY WEEK!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING?


I have so much pain i am shaking while typing this. Before all this happened my life was awesome..never complained never nothing. I believed in God. But now? I lost it. I dont believe in God anymore. I am an Atheist since 2 weeks. Seeing that all the bad guys in this world get everything they want, and all the good people die young and have all the terrible diseases, it just shows me there is no god. No Faith. No Nothing. I lost my life with this Fissure. And i am only 18 Years old.
AJStyles
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Re: Enough

Postby graylene » 31 May 2017, 05:57

I'm struggling to deal with my own situation and I'm only a few months into it - so I'm definitely not the best person to give advice (I'll leave that to the amazing people on this board!) But I read your post and at least wanted to offer some words of encouragement. It's awful that you are in such pain, that you have suffered for so long, and I'm sorry you're going through it. You don't deserve it. No one does. I know it is taking forever and the waiting is taking a painful toll on you. But hang in there and keep doing all of the things you are doing!!! You are a tough cookie at such a young age, you will beat this!!!
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Re: Enough

Postby AJStyles » 31 May 2017, 09:06

It has to heal. It cant stay forever. It just cant. I will visit the doctor so long until this shit is healed, and even if i have to travel to the best Hospital in the world to get a third surgery i will do it. Nothing to lose anyway.
AJStyles
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
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