Hello! Figured I'd make a diary page for myself since I rant everywhere else, and I find myself constantly wanting to talk to someone about how I'm feeling and I can't since nobody wants to talk about their buttholes, they only wanna act like one
Anyway... I had hemmies while pregnant and I gave birth via c-section on march 3rd. I didn't poop for about 5 days after giving birth because of my surgery and also the pain meds making me constipated. No one at the hospital ever warns you about the dangers of constipation or what I could lead to (which if they did I would have been way more cautious as to taking the precautions prevent it) anyway, one day I noticed tons of blood in the toilet. Then I had horrible itching (which I itched!!) my mistake. Next day I had horrible pains while going to the bathroom. I could barely walk. This lasted 3weeks of agonizing torture. Finally I started using coconut oil suppositories and it was like day and night. They gave me relief from pain and also from itching. I was able to walk around again with only discomfort and then of course the pain would return when if pass a stool. Soon I was feeling no pain until I slacked on my diet and I had a compacted stool which ruined me again with agonizing pain for a week. I was more diligent with my diet of fresh fruits before meals and eating primarily soft foods with fiber in it. More insoluble fiber than soluble due to the fact that large stools were not helping me heal what so ever!! The smaller softer stools are much better. I poop 2-3 times a day depending on how much I eat. I have had my fissure for almost 3 months. My main meds have been coconut oil suppositories and my nifedipine. I am seeing a doctor today. I hope I am healing very well. I do have ALOT of itching sometimes but a coconut oil suppository will relieve it for the most part. Ugh I just want this thing gone for good!

Hi sufferingbadly, I hope your doctors appointment goes well! let us know what s/he says, won't you.
I'm glad the coconut oil helps. Are you basically pain free other than if you have a hard bm?

My doctors appointment went well. I told him the history of it and what I've been doing to help myself. What he said was that he couldn't see any fissures just by examining the outside of my anus..(I knew that!) he says the skin tags I have are from hemmies and that the place I am telling him where my pain is, is not the spot where chronic fissures are normally present. He states that the location of my fissure is where they are considered acute fissures and normally heal well on their own. I let him know that I am pain free as long as my bowel movements are soft and effortless. He said he would only look inside my bum to take a look for hemmies and maybe find the fissure, but he did warm me that since it feels like I'm healing, it may aggrivate my wounds. He recommended that I stick with my diet and coconut oil remedies and come back to see him in a couple months. He said since I just had a baby, hemmies are very common and that even if I had hemmies, he wouldn't do anything for them for up to a year since that's how long they take to go away after a pregnancy. I just have my fingers crossed that I don't have any constipation. I have to feel as close to 100% as I possibly can before I go back to work on June 8th.

Sometimes there is nothing to do except wait, stick to your diet and nifedipine. Sounds like this is one of those times. As long as you are basically pain-free, I think that is a very good sign. If it continues to itch, you might consider switching from nifedipine to something else (eg nitro), or maybe giving the coconut oil a rest. It's possible you have become sensitive to one of those things. If you are using wipes, make sure they are alcohol and fragrance free. Calmoseptine is supposed to be good for itching (I have not tried it) and can be got from Amazon.
I hope you continue to feel better. It must be horrible to have to look after a newborn while trying to cope with this awful condition.

Welp, I went on my first outing adventure with a friend of mine and our kids, I had a great time getting out of the house... We went and took my 2yr old son to get his first hair cut! He looks so cute I had forgotten my bottle of water so when we were out id stop to get water. We were gone almost 3 hours (the longest I've been away from home in 2months!)when we got home, I ate some salad and then felt the urge to go to the bathroom. I applied Vaseline before going and as I started to go I noticed it wasn't really coming out and that a pressure was building up. ..oh but wait..here it comes...a super hard and painful stool, just making it's way and completely irritating the entire rim of my anus on it's way out! ! I don't feel like it completely tore me open again...I mean yes it hurt alittle, but I wasn't in any pain where I could really consider rating it on a pain scale board. And if I had to I would say a 2. But non the less, now instead of having zero discomfort and pains or sensations,,, well now I do. And I'm hoping it's only a temporary set back. I am hoping that tomorrow morning when I take my ritual morning that it won't really hurt, but most of all I am praying it won't be a hard compacted . I must say, my real enemy is a hard I don't want to experience one for a long time! And the day I am able to have a hard poop and feel no pain....THAT is the day I will celebrate and say that I am healed. Until then...I am trying desperately to keep my head up! It's so easy for me to become angry and depressed over this issue. On a positive note..From the pain and suffering over this issue, I have further realized the value of my life, the importance to do the things you like and to spend/make time for the ones you love...to not take anything for granted...the foods we eat, the good health we have, all the limbs on our bodies, our sight, our hearing...etc..cos in a blink of an eye it could all be taken away from us. This stupid anal fissure has torn me down and I am turning it around and using it to build me back up, stronger than I was before. I eat so healthy and clean now. I'm staying very hydrated and I'm encouraging my whole family into better health.. Sorry this is Beyond a fissure rant, but all my thoughts are pouring out and I can't stop. But I will. Thank you for your time to whomever ends up reading all of this. Non of us should allow ourselves to believe we cannot heal. I refuse to believe that! I just can't allow myself to think that way. I need to know that I am healing and will be healed, therefore I will continue to do what I need to do till it's done.
The end.

OMG Sufferingbadly, everything you say resonates with me. I was exactly in your shoes last year. One hard poo would give me a day or two of discomfort. And how well I remember how it changed the way I view my life, and made me value every pain-free day.

I can have a hard poo now without any pain or discomfort. I won't say the fear is gone, because I'll never forget how fragile our health can be. But I think you'll get there. You'll look back one day and remember how bad it was, and be happy it's over.

I only had one BM today.. I normally have two. I knew I was getting constipated. Finally at 9pm, I made myself sit down and try to go, yes I pushed, I even tried doing an enema which stung just alittle bit. Nothing really helped. I could hardly get anything out and I know in the morning it will just be worse I tried holding my fissure together when I pushed so that I didn't rip it and I think it helped, I feel like the only thing I seriously aggravated was my internal hemmies. My husband got home from work and I started balling my eyes out. Both my kids were asleep thanks to the help of my mother in law... I couldn't put either of my babies to bed cos I was in the bath room for an hour! Sitting in the bath tub trying to relax to make more poop come out but it wasn't happening. Right now I am in bed and feeling so sick to my stomach. I feel nauseous and I feel like I want to throw up. I'm so glad my fissure didn't hurt me at all afterwards, esp cos of the amount of pushing I was doing, and I'm actually curious as to why. Ok so I had my baby march 3rd... I know I had hemmies prior to birth, but after birth when I was recovering from my csection, I was experiencing really bad constipation. Hard stools almost every day. One day my bum was so itchy, I itched it like I would die if I didn't. I think that is what caused my fissure (along with all the hard poops)... I started noticing tons of blood in the toilet. No pain associated at first. There was even cloty looking blood on the toilet paper sometimes, but I must say that the amount of blood I had was ALOT..Anyway, I had discomfort but nothing totally horrible. the really bad pain happened probably on the day after Easter. I mistakenly ate a whole bag of prunes in two days and it gave me really bad diarrhea. I was in agonizing demobilizing debilitating pain for 2 or 3 weeks. Then I started using the coconut oil suppositories and I had no more pain when walking or sitting each time I'd use them. (For a few days it was still really hard to bend over but that soon got better also). I would have discomfort on some days after having a BM, and then finally I had a few pain free days here and there. Then I got constipated really bad and it set me back a few days. Then now here I am with a few good days again and now I'm constipated again! Prunes help really well to empty my system BUT I'm breastfeeding my baby and she has had horrible gas and tummy pains and when I stopped eating them to see if that was why, she wasn't as gassy and so it made me sad. Since I can't take them I don't know what to do. I breastfed my first baby for 19 months! And I wanted to do that again... So the thought of stopping just so that I can eat prunes is just beyond disturbing to me. I think if I stop breastfeeding it's just going to cause me to become even more stressed and upset. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm very sad tonight. My diet has been so good. It just baffles me that this happens. Why do I get constipated? I drink tons of water throughout the day. I drink lemon water first thing when I wake up to help aid with my digestion throughout the day. I eat tons of avocado and veggies and fruits like nectarines and pears. In the morning I eat fruit, organic meatless "sausage patties" and a home made hashbrown. I used to eat oatmeal for breakfast but it was causing my stools to be way too big and it hurt. For lunch I have a veggie sandwich and I'll have artichoke with mashed up avocado with lemon Juice in it.. I'll have a very small cookie here and there(gluten free and made with rice flour) I just don't know what to do. I don't even want to consider putting my baby on formula but I think I might have to... I'm so confused.

I've not been pregnant... so I don't know, but could you take, or are you taking, a stool softener?

So sorry this is going so badly for you. I wonder if you eased into eating the prunes, your baby could get used to them and they wouldn't cause so much gas and upset. Sometimes it just takes the system time to adjust and it can only do that if you slowly introduce such a thing. Just a thought...

You could also try a magnesium supplement. They work really good to loosen up the BM and I would think would be safe while breastfeeding.

So last night at 3:30am I got up and had to go to the bathroom, only alittle came out and it was uncomfortable. I noticed a tinge of blood. Then this morning at 7:30am I went again and I had a lot of gas and then the stool came out...it didn't hurt cos now it's softer again, but because my hemmies are so aggrivated from all the pushing last night, it was difficult pushing the stool out but I feel like it all came out. I wiped with wet toilet paper and there was a little blood on it. Not sure if that's from the hemmies or my fissure. I don't have that same fissure pain I had before that aggravated my skin tag, but I'm just so sore in my bum that I can't tell exactly where the precise pain is coming from. Once I insert a suppository, I'll be ok for the day (I hope) until I have to go again. I sent a text message to my manager from work last night asking if he will exhaust my vacation time so I can stay out of work longer. I'm hoping he will let me. I just don't want to go to work and spend an hour in the bathroom and have people wonder what the heck is wrong with me. That would be embarrassing esp because even though we are all adults, they gossip as if it were highschool. It sucks. I don't know how I will manage this at work. I work in retail sales. If I'm with a customer and get the urge to go, there is no way I will be able to say excuse me, and go to the bathroom. These people wait along time to be helped so last thing they want is for me to say "sorry I will be back in 30minutes"... I don't want to worry about this stuff but I don't see how not to. I will need to look into a stool softener for sure to see what will work for me and my baby still breastfeeding from me. I'm so glad I can have a diary on here... Nobody I love with would want to hear all this. My husband listens but I know he gets upset for me. He hates that I have this. I'm only 29years old. We haven't had a sex life in almost 6months cos of the baby and now this. One of our favorite things to do is watch food channels and then go to places and try new foods we haven't had before. Talk about a sad day... I can no longer do that with him. I know he's almost just as miserable as I am minus the pain factor. If I have to wait a year to heal or even longer, I don't know... The thought of waiting that long just really brings me down. But if I'm not having spasms or anything, and it's just a matter of a vicious cycle of pooping that is causing me to not heal.. Then there really isn't anything at all that the doctors ca. Do for me right? I literally just have to ride this out on my own huh? Ugh. What a struggle it is to make perfect poops every day, so far in 2 weeks, I've at least had one hard stool a week that ruins me. UGH I'm so frustrated right now

I'm so sorry to hear this. May I say one thing......I get the feeling you are forcing things, pushing is not good for us. If you have to sit and push, you're not ready to go yet. 1 bm a day is enough, try not to force more than that. If it isn't happening, do something else, and let it happen naturally.

Many of my pain free days were a result of my bowels taking a rest for a day, and usually, as long as I continue to eat well, the next bm was better than expected.

Easier said than done, I know