Guide to staying positive during suffering

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Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby ButtQueen » 23 Jan 2014, 03:25

There are a lot of health-related tips regarding anal fissures on this forum. What to eat, what not to eat, what medications to use, when to go for surgery/botox, etc. However, I noticed that nobody has addressed the emotional and psychological side of it all. Treating that emotional stress of yours is in my opinion more important than treating the fissure itself.
Anal fissures are nothing less than childbirth. All of us who have been the victims of this suffering know that all too well. The 24/7 anxiety of what tomorrow might bring, the constant obsessive thoughts of whether or not this thing is going to heal and the not-enough support and sympathies from our family and friends are enough to drive anyone crazy. Days of being pain-free and thinking you might FINALLY have conquered it, only to get a tremendous setback with that one hard BM is a worse ever heart-break. Times when things are pretty bad with me, I feel utterly hopeless, even angry and furious. Furious at myself, my family and pretty much everything!
However, what I have learnt from fellow sufferers and proud healers both is that the key to healing is the three PPPs: Patience, Perseverance and Positivity. It might sound too good to be true, but it definitely is. It is important to keep your hopes high even when your fissure seems bad! Believe it or not, but the mind-body connection is real. Patients of fatal conditions like cancer and tumors have been able to conquer their ailments with optimism.
Here are some of my personal tips into how to stay positive and hopeful even when things with your fissure do not seem to be going right:
Remember: You are better off than many others
It might not seem likely to you but this is definitely the truth. Whenever I am down with ultimate pain, I remind myself that there are so many people around the world who are in a much worse condition than I am in now. I may not be able to poop in peace, but there are people who are not able to poop at all. Can you imagine that? Even if pooping is difficult, I can often urinate in piece. I can walk, talk, eat, hear, and what not? Be grateful.
Enjoy little things
This is another task that seems almost impossible. However, when you begin to master it, you will feel your spirits are uplifted instantaneously. Sit on your porch and look at those birds and trees. Close your eyes and breathe in and out. Relax yourself. It would do your demon down there good too!
Have Faith
Anal fissures make us feel as if God hates us. We feel helpless, confused and angry all the time. God does not hate us. Remember, He tests those He loves the most! This is one of the tips that I love the MOST. Because it makes all the pieces of puzzles fit right into place. He has everything planned and this anal fissure is certainly a part of His plan. I will learn a lot about myself and my health in the process. During this entire time, I feel as if I have become closer to Him. Therefore, have faith in Him. Remember that He loves us and wants the best for us. Pray and meditate according to your own faith and feel the difference.
Focus on the good things
This is an extremely important step. The more that you focus on your bad fissure days, the more it will become harder to bear. Don’t dwell on it all the time. When feeling too down, call up a friend to have a chit chat or invite family over. If that seems uncomfortable, grab a good book and distract yourself. Stop obsessing yourself with your fissure all the time. It is fissure, not cancer! And it will never turn into cancer.
Here were my personal four ways in which I deal with my fissure days. Staying hopeful is very difficult. However, I remind myself of all the people who have healed themselves with patience and perseverance. Nothing is impossible in this world and no pain is forever. Have you ever come across anybody who said I have had this fissure thingy all my life? Yeah, me neither! Have patience and faith in God, He is the best Healer and He would not leave you along in agony.
Would love to have anybody else add up to these tips too :)
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby lilbopper88 » 23 Jan 2014, 18:31

Thanks ButtQueen. I so needed this today. It is difficult to pick yourself up while suffering from this amount of pain and while your scared, but it can be done. I will do just that. Thanks again for the reminder :)
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby sotiredofthis » 23 Jan 2014, 20:15

Thank you, thank you so very much. You just don't know the healing balm your words are. This suffering truly stinks and I have been so down and depressed lately. I just want it to be over so I can get my life back. I have so much to live for.

May God bless you abundantly!
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby LemonMan » 02 Oct 2016, 12:48

Thanks for this. I wasn't expecting anything from it, but it picked me up a bit.
Aug 14: Anal Abscess diagnosed
Dec 15: Anterior Anal Fissure diagnosed
Jan 16: Anoheal - Thought was healed end of Jan
Apr 16: Anoheal - Thought was healed end of May
Sep 16: Fissure back. Started Anoheal again
May 17: Botox and banding - fingers crossed
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby ButtQueen » 02 Oct 2016, 14:44

Hi there everyone! It's been two whole years since I posted this and so much has since changed. I got my psw renewed because I haven't logged in since forever and I had forgotten my password. Anyway, just to give everybody some strength, in these two years I have gotten married, healed naturally from my horrible anal fissure and now 34 weeks pregnant with my first bub. So my message to all of you, stay positive, healing from this thing is real and totally possible. Stay positive and don't lose hope.
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby JMG » 03 Nov 2016, 04:57

Hey I'm Jenn & I just wanted to say THANK YOU for posting this! :) I've been very down & depressed from having to be so careful about what I eat it has been very challenging & upsetting & takes a lot of patience to deal with it, but it seems like everyone here more than understands how that is! It is a huge relief because anyone who has NOT had to deal with a fissure and the pain that comes from it does not truly understand how the experience of it is. I've felt so alone in dealing with it but am so happy I found this forum that focuses on this specific problem. The very idea that it will truly be "healed" one day seems like an absolute dream to me a this point (been dealing with the problem since March of this year) but I definitely want to have faith & believe that it will heal.
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby Islandbutt » 03 May 2017, 07:26

Thank u Buttqueen! I just read ur post from 2yrs ago n the one last yr. I guess by now u probably had ur baby. Congratulations.
I was so inspired by ur story n at the same time cannot come to grip that a chronic problem like this exist. I suffered with constipation on an off n I know it's because I don't drink enough water. I have had a fissure that healed but never had one this long n I think it's a combination of very hard BMs that led up to this last time but more so the sudden pain that I started feeling in my tailbone about a year ago. I had the pain in my tailbone even before the fissure n when I developed the fissure it got worse with this tailbone pain n spasm. The ARS had recommended PT but I could not start until the fissure healed. The thing also, when the doctor initially recommended therapy my condition was not as serious so I kind of shrugged off the PT because the thought of someone up in my butt massaging the muscles or putting an instrument up there was more a turn off than anything else. It probably would not have gotten this bad had I gone for PT. I think this tailbone pain is the reason why it's not healing. I believe that muscle spasm a lot n per the ARS prevent the wound from healing because the spams makes the wound bigger.
With all that said, I am a woman of God n I know he does not give us more than we can bear. Ur post was a testimony to remind me what mighty God I serve. He delivered me out of a traumatic relationship last year around the same time I started feeling this tailbone pain, pain the doctor says can b the result of trauma. Each time I tell myself why me I will remind myself like u said it could b worst.
I thank u with all my heart for ur word of encouragement n remind me to have have faith because nothing is impossible with God.
Thank u.
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Re: Guide to staying positive during suffering

Postby mamafizz » 26 May 2017, 15:42

IslandButt, I too have similar situation but the fissure is healed but now have the tailbone ache left over but getting better, Are you having any improvement? I agree God helps us through this!
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