I HATE this!

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I HATE this!

Postby JBW » 24 Mar 2016, 12:38

First of all I blame myself for my predicament. I've had fissures off and on since about 8y/o...I'm 40. Generally speaking my fissures would flare and heal , repeat. But infrequently. I could deal though pooping is always a crap shoot; will it hurt, will I bleed.

Recently, about 3 months I have had daily pain and bleeding. I also had something sticking out, which I self diagnosed as an anal papilla that grew quite a bit. Lets say if I could wag it I might have thought it was a puppy tail. The last 4 days have been unbearable, I have literally been in the worst pain of my life. I had 2 c sections and one became infected with tunneling abscesses which had to be debreded and left open to heal for 3 months.....that didn't hurt as much as this.
I know I should have gone to the doctor months ago when the fissure didn't heal as usual but I was trying to avoid colonoscopy. STUPID. long story short got in to see a CRS yesterday. Confirms I have a Huge , long standing, fissure at 6 oclock ( though my pain seems to be coming from the 9 oclock position) and my puppy tail is actually part of the fissure. Prescribed procto , lido, and nitro. I have been living in the bath tub, hollering at everyone (my poor kids) and generally thinking I need ONE thing to work for this pain, one. I cant have surgery till after mid may if I choose that route. To many things I need to do.

So , how long did it take any chronic fissure sufferers to heal with standard protocol or get good pain relief at least.

Any tips for a poor soul who is too stupid to see a doctor because shes afraid of a little colonoscopy. ...uuugh Iwould take 100 gallons of Golightly instead of this pain!
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Re: I HATE this!

Postby JBW » 24 Mar 2016, 12:40

Pardon ttpos, posting on my phone from the BATHTUB ......UUUUGH
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Re: I HATE this!

Postby Manitourose » 24 Mar 2016, 12:58

Oh JBW, I hate hearing how horrible you feel. :( No worries on the typos -- typing from the bathtub is my pastime!

First, don't blame yourself. I know it's hard not to do especially when something isn't getting better. I'd say many of us have done it. But you are really not to blame. You have gone through so much dealing with this since age 8 years old. And you are brave, just because you haven't had a colonoscopy, you have seen a doctor. That's being brave and trying to take care of yourself.

I wish I had better advice for the pain. Mine comes and goes with no reasons. So I can't give advice on what has helped alleviate it. Of course the normal stuff helps when I am in pain, the baths, heating pads, water, Tylenol and so on. But it never eliminates it.

I've had my fissure for well over 6 months by this point. It healed once I think and then came back. I am NOT sure if I had fissures before my fistulotomy, but very possibly. I also was diagnosed with celiac disease and so my BMs were a disaster. Since that diagnosis and treatment through diet things have gotten better and I THINK there is healing. So for me a change in diet helped and I was already eating quite healthy. Who knew though that my ingestion of wheat muffins to increase my fiber was causing more issues.
In any case, I'd recommend anyone keep a food and BM diary to perhaps see what may be making the BM's more challenging for the delicate skin that is trying to heal.

If you decide with your doctor on a colonoscopy, just remember YOU CAN DO IT. It's normal to be frightened. I have mine soon and holy heck yes I'm nervous. But pulling the trigger to do it gave me a sense that I'd have more information on what may be causing my issues. Remember most of the time, it's absolutely just our dang fissures and not something more serious. But it will help better guide you and doctors to determine how to heal the fissures.

Feeling for you JBW. Remember don't be too hard on yourself. :) Keep hollering all you need to here and from the tub.
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