Looking for Reassurance

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Looking for Reassurance

Postby BrooklynButt » 12 Nov 2018, 14:01

Hi everyone,

I have been here a few times before, on various topics. I have had my fissures since June 2017, I have both an a posterior and an anterior one. Both of "healed" (scarred over) and re-opened at various points since that time, my most recent appointment was in late October to get Botox (my first round of that). At that time I was told both were open. Previously I have tried diltiazem, physical therapy, a few weeks of self-dilation (during which I scared myself, there is a separate thread on that) and all the various conservative and dietary measures. Pain is not horrific compared to some people on here, but uncomfortable going to the bathroom and have had problems with stool consistency/cleanup which makes that a whole production.

It has only been 3 weeks since the Botox and I know I need to give it a lot more time (I have a pre-arranged follow-up appointment with my CRS at the 6 week mark, which will be in early December) but I am feeling very discouraged. I have had this for a very long time and nothing seems to heal it for long. Also, the anterior site fissure scares me as I am relatively young (36) and male and as I understand it this is a very unusual presentation for someone in my bracket. Of course I stupidly read about it and found some studies which link anterior fissure to "occult external sphincter defect" and I am worried about that too.

I know many of us have gone into some dark places on here and I know many of you have had, and are having, a more difficult journey than me. It still has take a toll though. I do not feel like the same person I once was. I guess I am just looking for some reassurance. Anyone who has the same general profile as me (both, or at least anterior) and have had it work out alright in the end? I don't mind continued management but the thought of continued pain and/or incontinence is a lot to handle right now. Thank you everyone.
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Re: Looking for Reassurance

Postby sean530 » 13 Nov 2018, 13:31

Im so sorry to hear about your situation. Just know that there are a lot of us here like you. some registered some lurking all in the same boat. I went to a CRC and he said i have a posterior fissure. i think i have both ant and post. no way to know for sure. im just waiting to heal just like you. and im younger than you mate. Big hugs for you. The same thought like your have been going through my mind for a month or so. I know this is the worse but like all things this too shall pass. PM me we can always chat. take care
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Re: Looking for Reassurance

Postby Talesofmytail » 16 Nov 2018, 19:35

Hi Brooklyn,
I totally get what you are saying about not feeling like yourself anymore. I work in an emergency department and have been off work for about a month now because of my terrible butt. :( Also, not being able to do all the things I used to do is awful and at times I feel like my life is passing me by. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive and engage in things that you can still do that make you happy. Stress is supposed to be bad for our evil, little fissures, so staying as calm and relaxed as possible may be a good battle technique. And remember you are not alone, there are lots of us out here feeling similarly. I'm meeting with my surgeon this coming Monday and I'm going to strongly request LIS because I feel like I can't deal with anymore treatments that don't work...
Let me know how things turn out.
Began suffering: 9/6/18
Dx'd with fissure: 9/27/18
Began diltiazem & Miralax: 9/27/18
Began physical therapy: 10/26/18
Acupuncture: 12/08 - 12/22/18
Began nifedapine: 12/29/18
Dx'd with small, superficial abscess, started Cipro & Flagyl: 1/2/19
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Re: Looking for Reassurance

Postby BrooklynButt » 19 Nov 2018, 21:20

Thank you so much for replying to me, both of you. I know I could have something much worse, but it's crazy how something that is basically just a cut or cuts can impact your life so much. Please both of you keep me posted on how you are getting on and how things move forward. Did you have your CRS appointment Tales? I myself have my 6-week botox follow-up 2 weeks from tomorrow (so 4 weeks out now). I am feeling slightly less pain but really things do not seem too different at this point than how they were before. Hopefully this is just the beginning.
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