My battle

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My battle

Postby k202 » 11 Jul 2015, 23:31

Hello,

My problems started in January. I noticed a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid never went away and would shove back in and only be noticeable after a BM. I was hoping that the hemorrhoid would go away, but never did. It became clotted in April after a very painful BM. I went to the doctors to have it looked at. The doctor cut out the clot and sent me on the way. I had a hemorrhoid back in 2011 and the doctor rubber-banded it and it disappeared and I don't recall ever having any problems. There was no skin tag left over or nothing with that procedure back in 2011.

The healing for this procedure in April was painful but tolerable except for one evening where I almost passed out from pain and went to the ER. There was a skin tag left over and I became worried that it would never go away. About 3 weeks into the healing, I noticed that I was having pain after BM's. I didn't know why; the pain would subside and generally go away till the next BM.

Then I noticed that the hemorroid surgery totally healed but noticed that the swelling had gotten worse. During this time, I have increased my fiber intake, changed my diet, lost 10 pounds, and drank more water. Nothing seemed to help.

I went to see a gastrointestinal doctor in mid-June. The doctor stated that I had an anal fissure. He gave me some cream to insert once or twice a day after a BM. I am staying regular with my diet and using some stool softeners. There have been one or two days where I didn't have a BM and the next day the stool was difficult to pass. Noticed blood during these times.

Nothing seemed to be working. I can feel the fissure. It almost feels like scab in the back part of my anal cavity if that makes any sense. I seemed to be getting better, then last week had a 2-day hiatus between BM's. Again, I noticed blood after the BM.

Everything seemed to go well this week, the pain was dissipating and it didn't hurt to "sit the wrong way" and the fissure wasn't even noticeable for the majority of the day.

Had a painful BM on Thursday but no blood. I had some major pain after the BM that lasted for hours and hours.

Yesterday, I had a painful BM and no blood and I didn't put the cream on to see if I felt okay without the cream. I had a lot of pain, almost unbearable and felt nauseous and ready to pass out from the pain. It subsided by morning and today has been okay with the BM and applying cream afterwards. Very little, but noticeable pain.

I go see another specialist on the 22nd. I am looking to get skin tag removed and get the fissure examined again.

I am wondering if my fissure actually healed, since I haven't had any bleeding for a while. I'm wondering if the pain will actually subside over time to where I don't feel any pain and I get my life back to pre-January life.

I think the skin tag is in the way of healing or causing the fissure to not properly heal but the gastro doctor dismissed anything about that. It swells from time to time and hardens. I believe getting in the way may allow the fissure to heal. I'm wondering if anyone else has had skin tags right around where the fissure was and if they got it removed if it helped to clear the fissure.

How will I know if the fissure heals besides having a doctor okay? I have no blood after BM's but I can still feel that "scab-like" feeling right in the back of my anus.

All of these problems have really hurt my self-esteem and caused significant depression over the past few months. :cry: I don't even want to think about going out and meeting people and dating because my anal area looks like a circus-show. I want my normal ass back; pre-January 2015 normal.

I'm at the point where I started to mash all of my food in a food processor before eating it. I don't know what else to try besides time.
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Re: My battle

Postby Scientist2516 » 12 Jul 2015, 22:59

Hi k202,
sorry you are having this pain and depression. It's very normal to get depressed and put your life on hold when you have a fissure. Please try to stay positive, and go out even if you don't want to date. Try not to let this thing isolate you.

As for whether your fissure is healed, it's hard to say because fissures don't always bleed, and blood doesn't always mean a fissure (it could mean an internal hemmie). Pain levels are a better guide. You don't say what cream you are using - is it nifedipine? Does it contain a pain relief like lidocaine?

Those skin tags can be very irritating, but it's best not to have it removed unless you absolutely can't bear it. The removal can be very painful and difficult to heal. They do shrink with time once the fissure is healed. Wear loose clothing and keep it clean and dry.

There are other things you can try - read the success stories on this forum. I personally found a heat pad on my bottom to be very soothing. I used a hot water bottle, and warmed it up in the microwave when necessary. I sat on it almost all day at home and work.

All the best, and I hope you heal soon.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: My battle

Postby k202 » 13 Jul 2015, 21:36

Thanks Scientist for the words of encouragement. I'm not sure what type of cream it is: The only thing it has on the label is: C-Fissure Ointment #1 . Whatever it is, it stops the spasms and pain after a BM. My pain is minimal when I apply the cream afterwards.

My thing is that the pain throughout the day is minimal. I just feel some slight discomfort in that area from time to time during the day, but the BM episodes are quite the adventure every day. My life revolves around the daily BM.

I think I might get a heated pad, as this could be useful and helpful and keep some blood flowing in that region.

Today wasn't a good day. I wasn't able to go yesterday and the BM today was very hard to pass. I applied the cream right away and there was some minor discomfort afterwards. No bleeding again.

I don't have a bathtub in my apartment, which I feel is part of the problem. I hate to get one of those sitz bath toilet things because I was told that it isn't good to sit on the commode in that position as that contributes to hemorrhoids and other issues.

This is soooooo frustrating. I sometimes wonder if things will get better.

Thanks again for your reply. It helped a lot!!! :-)
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Re: My battle

Postby Scientist2516 » 13 Jul 2015, 22:52

You are welcome.
I think one thing that's holding you back is your irregular BMs. The longer the stool stays in your rectum, the drier and harder to pass. Try to have a BM every day. What stool softener are you using? You could experiment to see if other stool softeners work better for you, or if you need to up the dose. Different people have success with different softeners, so it's worth trying others. Be conservative though - take only one at a time!
Also, you say you are sticking to your diet. What are you eating? You might have to adjust your diet.

Again, everyone is different, but the bath-tub thing was no good for me. I had some of my worst pain after soaking in the tub. Other people swear by it, but I wouldn't worry too much if you haven't got a tub. I hated the sitz bath too, so it was lucky the hot water bottle worked for me. The nice thing about the hot water bottle is you can be clothed and dry, whereas there's a limit to how long you can stay in the tub!

I wish you knew what the ointment is. Can you ask the pharmacy? It sounds very effective, which is good news.

Things will get better. It can take a long time, but you'll get there. It can be hard to stay positive, but keep coming here, venting, asking questions. We are here for you.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: My battle

Postby k202 » 17 Jul 2015, 23:09

Thanks again for your kind words Scientist. I found the paper that came with the cream. It only has the vague "C-Fissure Ointment #1" on it and doesn't really give much else detail. I saw that it listed an NDC # on it. With some investigation, I found that the ointment is "Diltiazem".

I inserted it way up there on Monday and Tuesday. I felt 100 x better. Then Wednesday night, I could not go to the bathroom at all. I tried everything to allow me to go. On Thursday, I woke up. . No sign of a fissure anywhere. I felt sooooooooo much better than I had in weeks/months. But I knew that impending built up 2-day BM would be my downfall. I returned home from work and it was difficult but much didn't come out. I felt some discomfort but no bleeding, so I thought I dodged a bullet and set me back a few days.

Today, I had a BM incoming. I didn't think it would be too bad since it was less than 24 hours from the last one. I was wrong. What didn't come out on Thursday must have collected and I had one of the most painful BM's I had in the past few months. Wiped, and faint blood smear on the tissue :cry: :cry: :cry: I hurried up and put the cream in and I still swelled up significantly and was in pain for hours.

There goes weeks and weeks down the toilet (pun intended). :cry:

A re-tear. I'm feeling severe discomfort down there about what I did 2-3 weeks ago. Back to drawing board. I thought I was about to turn the corner. Thursday was such a great day (without the impending thought of the 2-day BM) to be pain and discomfort free. The air smelled fresher, the sun brighter, the flowers more bloom, the grass much greener, and now a day later, I'm back to feeling worse than I have in weeks.

What have I been eating a lot of lately where these 2-day BM's have taken place? Lima Beans and I've cut out a significant amount of caffiene from my diet. I've eaten a lot of lima beans over the past few days. I thought that this was a good food for constipation. Not quite the opposite. I enjoy lima beans because I can eat and be full and they are supposedly good for you. I guess caffiene is actually good for my bowels, so I should re-introduce it a little more.

I'm increasing olive oil, cutting out lima beans, re-introducing broccoli tomorrow. I'm going to switch to Miralax. It upset my stomach last time I took it, and I've had some success with dolcalax, since it doesn't upset my stomach. I'll deal with stomach aches for a month to heal this damn thing !!

I don't know what else to do at this point. I go see the doctor next week again. I was hoping to be healed at that point.

I guess one good thing is that when I introduced the cream up there after today's episode, there was a lot of itching for the next few hours, so I guess it's really attacking the site and itching, I've always been told is something that means healing.
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Re: My battle

Postby hayleyw » 21 Jul 2015, 09:29

Funnily enough i'm seeing my rectal surgeon on the 22nd (tomorrow) too. Dreading it. I know what you mean by feeling it like a scab. As I can't see my fissure on the outside due to it being further up, I have to go by feeling alone. Mine feels like quite a long, narrow cut that has tiny dotted scabs covering. The kind of graze you get when you fall off your bike as a kid. That's how I would describe the way mine feels.

Like you i'm also in loads of pain, especially today. For some reason I have diarrhoea and it's really swelling and stinging keep having to go. What a horrible ordeal. I hope we both find some relief soon.
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Re: My battle

Postby k202 » 24 Jul 2015, 22:14

Thanks hayleyw for responding and sharing your experience. The way you describe the narrow cut with tiny dotted scabs definitely describes how I feel from time to time with this thing.

I hope that your appointment went well this week and you are healing.

It does definitely suck that this thing isn't visible on the outside; mine isn't either. It would be so much easier to deal with if it were further down.
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Re: My battle

Postby k202 » 24 Jul 2015, 22:33

Update 07/24/2015

It's been a week since my retear and the worst pain that I experienced since this ordeal started. On Saturday, I was still swelled down there from the Friday brick I pooped. I was very weak and very wary of the Saturday BM. I was scared to go BM on Saturday, but was able to go.

I tried Miralax a few weeks back and quit taking after it upset my stomach. I said to myself that I do not care if my stomach hurts every single day for the next 3 months, this damn thing is going to disappear. So, I started the Miralax on Saturday. I had a BM on Saturday and it was not painful but again blood after wipe. :cry:

Sunday, BM painful and blood again after wipe.

Monday, it seems as if the Miralax finally kicked in. I had the greatest BM I have had in MONTHS. It came right out with no straining :TahDah:

Tuesday, the BM wasn't as runny but came out easily. Same with Wednesday. I went to see the specialist on Wednesday and he looked and said that he can see skin growing over top of the fissure, so it is healing, but very fragile at this point.

He advised against removing the skin tag at this time because he stated that he barely notices it and it is right at the base of the fissure and could possibly shrink more or completely go away when the fissure heals. I am to check back with him September 1st through e-mail and advise at any further visits.

Thursday, BM was a little difficult and took two attempts to clear out entirely, but it was soft. BM was good today as well.

I have very little pain and no swelling after the BM's this week. I am continuing to lose weight: down to 149 from 165 in January (160 is my ideal weight). For the first time in my life I want to gain some weight back. I want to eat some pizza and some junk once in a while; I need about 10 pounds.

I hope and pray that the Miralax keeps working for the weeks to come. No more blood and I feel better day to day although I can feel that damn fissure in the back of my butt from time to time.

I wish I would have gone on Miralax a month or two ago. I might have been healed and living life right now.

Things that have worked this week in terms of diet:

Morning: breakfast: Two instant oatmeal packs topped with greek yogurt; cup of tea
Lunch: Brown rice with dark red kidney beans and black beans cooked with vegetable broth, curry, cumin, and a touch of cayenne pepper; green beans; fiberchoice tablet
Afternoon snack: two prunes
As I leave work: Miralax with 10 oz of powerade zero - orange
Dinner: Morningstar ChickNNuggets - 6; brocolli; both doused with extra virgin olive oil; 5 prunes; fiber chewable tablet
Snack: 2 morningstar chick N Nuggets; oatmeal; some olives; and greek yogurt

I limit myself to 4 caffeine drinks a day: 2 diet sodas, and 2 cups of tea; I drink 2 16 oz bottles of water and 2 32 oz bottles of powerade zero: orange flavored.

BM is like clockwork 2 and 1/2 hours after taking the Miralax

Onward.........................
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Re: My battle

Postby k202 » 31 Jul 2015, 19:47

Update 07/31/2015

Miralax is a game changer.

Two weeks since my re-tear. I've eaten the same thing for every meal for the past few weeks/month.

My BM today was glorious.

The one thing with Miralax though is that sometimes the BM is messy and some of the left over BM (I was told not to wipe too hard) causes discomfort and irritation.

There were a few days where I didn't place diltiazem on my bum after a BM; no spasms and no swelling.

On a scale from 0 to 100, I feel I am about 84 percent healed. I'm still being cautiously optimistic. If I can make it to September 1st without any retears or bad days, I will consider myself, probably healed.

I will keep this thread going until then.

Thanks for all your support thus far :-) It's been appreciated


.....onward !!!
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Re: My battle

Postby k202 » 14 Aug 2015, 22:07

August 14, 2015

I am basically healed but still have to use caution. I found out that the flushable wipes I was using gave me a horrible red and itchy bottom and even some swelling. I am off of the Dialitazem cream and there are no spasms after a BM nor are there is any swelling. There is some discomfort for a minute or 2 minutes after a BM, but that could be normal, as I didn't carefully monitor my BM's prior to this issue.

I am sticking to my strict diet and will slowly introduce some more foods into the mix starting in September. The miralax is what helped me heal along with my diet, and get back into some light jogging starting around that time as well.

I had one day where I didn't BM last week and the miralax helped keep things passable on the 48 hour BM.

I hope that this is it and my rear becomes more structurally sound over the next couple of months to a year and I can get back to not worrying about the daily BM.

I feel normal again. I will continue to update over next few months at longer durations between posts unless something bad happens. *fingers crossed*

Thanks everyone for all of your support.
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