Hey all sorry i took so long... Ive been a bit sore, a bit sad and a bit confused. As most of you know i fled to the er with severe spasms the day after i say my crs who said "yeah thats a posterior fissure and its causing the anus to spasm". He also says youre going to need surgery... So after reading so many positive comments i said sure doc lis it is.... Ill spare the details but i was om the table, surgeon says "well be doing lateral internal sohinterotomy".. That was the last i heard.. Woke up and what happened..... NO LIS!! At this point in recovery im freaking out... I demanded to speak to the surgeon.... This was his response "i had to perform a dilation to break the spasms, but your fissure is healing so well i couldnt justifu LIS, as i had a good look inside while you were dilated.....but i dont know why youre having these spasms.... I was crushed... As days later im still having spasms, and people r now saying i may have pelvic floor disorder, and that waa what landed me in the er...

Im ashamed.. So many of you go through so much more than i do, just these stupid spasms i swear its like having a fissure and i still feel the fissure site when im so tight...
I see another crs tues (apparently the best we have) he agreed to see me since my visit to the er. Hes going to decide if botox will help me out with the spasms just so i wont retear.

I then see a pelvic floor physio therapist on thursday... I feel so confused... So awkward... And like such a wuss, the dilation helped a bit but i feel it closing day by day. No pain on bm but still spasms after. Sometimes i can not stand...

This is my story, still in recovery. Still fighting to ensure i dont have these spasms and retear... I will get better... And i will still be here to serve others any way that i can through this horrible experience.

I have a follow up in 3 weeks with my crs who did dilation. They now believe that i caused this pelvic floor dysfunction during a herpes outbreak where id resist urination, that was how they feel my fissure was born due to constant spasm and during defecation my internal sphincter would contract not relax.


I hope all of you in recovery are recovering by gods grace... Please dont judge me i feel weak. Ive missed you all.

Hi havefaith! Just glad to see u back we were worried about u! We would never judge u we all just want to get better and u seem like a really lovely person. Im the same as u doc wouldnt do lis on me either he said it was spasms and piles that was causing me the pain and no new fissures. He went ahead and give me 2nd botox two weeks ago and i am starting to feel good again. Hopefully when u see ur 2nd crs he will give u botox to for some relief. Welcome back big man keep punching through and u will get there!! All my prayers and thoughts xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks so much guys, it was very painful after the procedure as all it did was buy me time, im still constantly spasming and could barely sit so sorry for the slow reply the other crs im going to wants to give me botox to relieve the spasms and prevent a retear. Thats this tuesday, did anyone have a lot of pain after botox? How long does it take?

Im also seeing a pelvic floor specialist on thursday... Thanks return of puzzledbutt, i miss all of you.... How does your butt feel after botox!!

My butt feels great now after botox its really great for relaxing the muscle. It doesnt take long 5mins, i went into hospital for a few hours was put to sleep and given the shots. The first time i got them i was great for 6mths, then i thought i had developed a 2nd fissure so i went in for more botox but no fissure was found as i said just piles and a tight muscle spasms. Doc went ahead and give me the shots and im feeling really good now. So u will get a lot of relief have faith its a good job for painful spasms. God bless xxxx