Hi all,
Yesterday I developed another anal fissure with all the usual accompanying blood when I wipe. I'm feeling really depressed and anxious and don't how to face dealing with another one. I'll just give you a little background on my rectal history.

When I was 21 (many years ago!) I developed my first fissure and after seeing a consultant, I used an anal dilator for a little while and was completely cured until I developed another one when I was 37, so it was a pretty big gap. Anyhow, this one took me about 2-3 years to get over and even then I'm not sure it ever really recovered properly. In the meantime (I'm 55 now) I've developed piles, had skin tags, IBS and regular bouts of bathroom anxiety. I've probably used too many creams and ointments over the years which may have made the whole area more prone to damage than in a normal rear end. I use Movicol every day (morning and just before bed), but have been cutting back on it, because it was causing very irritated fluffy stools which seemed to go on forever (some as long a 1 1/2 feet long or more). This did nothing for my piles and I sometimes had to get relief with Anuice (a plastic freezing device). Anyhow, I obviously cut back on it too much and produced 4 or 5 hard motions - end result another blasted fissure (probably number 5 or 6 - maybe more than that).

What makes all this worse is I have a 6-year-old daughter and a lovely wife who I feel I can't give as much of me as I'd like to. They have to go on holiday without me because of my travel anxiety, I've missed weddings and fallen out with my cousins after not attending family functions on several occasions (I haven't discussed my health issues with them). I keep wishing I could get my life back, but fear it's too late. I wish I knew what to do.

I had a biofeedback test done a few years ago and I think the resting pressure was 120 and should have been 60 (or something like that). I was trained how to breathe and use my stomach muscles to help expel the stool as comfortably as possible. This does help a bit, but it's certainly not the complete answer by any means.
I was seeing a private consultant, but can't afford to go to her anymore and I'm scared stiff of seeing a regular NHS consultant after a very painful experience where this guy was so rough I could barely walk after the exam.
So I'm wondering what to do, who to see and what course of action I need to take. I'm tempted by both botox and LIS, but there are quite a few horror stories concerning both. To be honest I don't know how I'll cope with this latest setback as this one feels as if it might be quite bad. The thought of another 2-3 years of daily suffering is just horrendous.

Incidentally, have any of you had really longstanding AF issues (doubt many as long as 20-odd years) and found a way through it?

T.

Hi Banjobuddy,

welcome to the Forum - I hope you find some comfort in being here and a happy new year to you.

I'm only young in the scheme of things (27) but I presume I'm the younger version of you by the sounds of things!! I used too much cream back there, ended up making the skin thin and prone to infection so had to cut back on them. I always have bathroom anxiety as the worst of my fissure was 3 years ago where I'd pass out through the pain and blood. I fully sympathise with you and although I don't have children yet I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you.

We are here to listen, if you are worried about an NHS consultant have you ever thought of seeing an NHS consultant through a private provider? (it's still free!) like Circle, BMI, Spire etc. I found my CRS through that path and he's a private consultant but I was able to pick him through Choose and book and he's amazing.

Keep us posted

FF

Thanks for that FF :) I just posted on seeing my CRS a couple of days ago and she's going to perform LIS in a few months. I saw her privately (Spire), but as she also works within the NHS, she'll be doing the op there.

I hate seeing younger people having to face this, especially if it's dragged on for a while. I hope things are going better for you and anyone else on here currently suffering this wretched thing. I've had all manner of medical issues, but have to say this is the most debilitating by far. I think the problem is with pretty much any other wound or injury, it can be given time to heal by simply not using it or moving carefully to accommodate it. With a fissure, you're forced to use it all the time. My own personal opinion on this is that medical profession needs to sort out a real pain management process (i.e. freeze the area pre and post bowel movement), to prevent further trauma. Pain is very much a healing inhibitor. Alternatively, provide a temporary colostomy, so it can heal more quickly. As it is, we have to go through an awful lot to even have a chance of getting a better outcome.