thank you fissulyna! you pointed out what i've failed to see recently, which is that i've survived 2 surgeries without complications. sometimes i'm so overwhelmed with negative thoughts about not healing that i forget the things i have to be glad about. it could be worse! and i DO feel better than i did this time last year that's for sure. though it's been a long, slow process it seems to be getting better.
AND YOU WILL TOO :)
are you taking hot baths as often as possible? that seems to help with the comfort level anyway.