Good luck with your healing, powderblue!! Glad you're past the first "hurdle".

Yep, it is pretty crazy...

9 months of full on suffering with a complete healing at some point... but had more than 4 re-tears, last one taking me almost to square one. And that's with the best possible diet and stool softeners and many other tricks that I've picked up over the months.

Here is an update. The recovery was very quick- and the first BM was bloodless! I was so happy, everything was very loose down there but in a good way. That lasted two weeks.

Then I had a BM after which I saw blood - I was a bit shocked but thought it was normal. Next day - again, and again and again. Finally I went to the doctor, he poured some chloric acid around the fissure to burn old skin, I presume and that's where it got much worse. Hurts more and more blood.

It has been a week since that acid treatment, I am not better, but today I noticed another symptom. When I use diltiazem cream, I felt a very strong "piece of string" piece inside the sphincter on the lateral side right where the incision was. I never noticed it before, never had it before the surgery and I think it might only be there when I am about to have a BM. I think that this tight thing is responsible for the retear. Even applying cream did not do anything to it. There were a lot of blood today.

I wonder what could it be? I think it is either the scar tissue from incision, but doubt it since incision must have been felt all the time, here it felt like I a muscle. I think that what I am feeling is either scar tissue on the muscle or the muscle itself.

Anyone?

Powderblue, I am so sorry to hear of the ordeal you have had with this. Sounds very frustrating. This string you feel...what size do you think it is? What direction does it run? It may be a tight muscle band?

I got seen by a doctor today - he confirmed that this is indeed a tight muscle. Said that I am too sensitive and that I should relax and breath during BM or it will not heal. Nice.

Not very nice indeed. Some Doctors are so insensitive and don't realize how chronic pain can make a person tighten up. Maybe you could try to massage the muscle? Are you male or female Powderblue?