Hi, my name is Suzanne and all my life, I have hated and felt embarrassed with any subject on ablutions, so it was a complete horror story, that after having my colon checked, I discovered a couple of month's later, excruciating pain on visiting the toilet and then, on doing some internet research, I see that I have a fissure.

Oh and I live in France. Even on the medical notes, it said that the preparation was mediocre but of course, they refused to take responsibility.

I had no choice in the end to go to a dr and at least, he treated me with dignity, but it was just AWFUL. He then confirmed that I have a small fissure and gave me creams and other bits. Nothing worked. Oh for a time, the pain eased up, but always came back.

I ended up being seen in hospital, where they did not care about giving the patient dignity. I had to lie as though I was doing a sexual act and the man put his finger in me and honestly, if it were not for my husband, holding my hand, I am sure I would have attacked the pig! Yes, I was in tears of mortification and especially when he said: oh it is only a small fissure and that I was to start the medication, as though I had not!!!!!!

Well, we have moved out of the area and because of this, I feel less bitter. But every day, there is pain.

I have changed my diet and things are better, but the after effects are bad.

There is no point me going to the dr, because here in France, they do not care about the patient and I cannot go through the sheer indignity of it all, which is why, the title of my post.

I am regular, which honestly, I go into surreal mode, as I go to the toilet. Sometimes I cry with sheer relief that it is not painful and other times, I am crying with sheer agony!

I do not wish this on anyone!

So I joined in the hope that I can feel some support.

Hi Suzanne,
I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Yes, this is a horrible condition. How long ago did you get your fissure? Even with all the right treatment it can take a long time to heal. It is very normal for the pain to come and go. If you see a gradual improvement over weeks, then you have a good chance of healing. But if the pain doesn't decrease over time, you may have to see a doctor again.

Perhaps you could see a woman next time - it might help you feel better. I understand your embarrassment, but unfortunately invasive physical exams are part of this disease**. Of course the doctor should be tactful! That goes without saying. I'm glad your husband was able to be present at your exam. It's wonderful to have a supportive partner.

If your stools are soft and easy to pass, you are on the right track. What creams are you using?
Welcome to the forum! Sorry you have to be here. Glad you found us.

**edit** Not always though. Often a CRS only has to look, not put a finger in. It depends on where the fissure is, I guess. Plus, you can request that the CRS actually ASK you before putting a finger in. A good doctor will understand and be humane about it.

Hi Suzanne...so sorry to hear about your experience. I too had one really bad experience early on when a Dr. did a digital exam (stuck his finger up there) in advance of a colonoscopy. He did it without warning and had no sensitivity that i was in pain or that i had a fissure...basically it felt like he took a broom handle and stuck it up there...not fun to say the least!!

One very important thing I learned from that experience is that whenever I now go see a Dr. and they need to examine my rear end I do the following (1) I literally tell them I was traumatized by a Dr. who forcefully did a digital exam and that I am really sensitive and do not want to be re-traumatized (2) I tell them that they need to be gentle and that if I say stop they are to stop immediately (3) I get checked only if really really needed.

unfortunately a lot of Doctors see many many patients and we become just another number to them...so it is important to remind them of your humanity and sensitivities. We all must be our own strongest advocates.

I also really like Scientists recommendation of finding a woman to do the exam and in general to do the consult...that might be really helpful.

Best wishes - Canadabum

Yes do research you will find a woman crs or proctologist. My crs just told me he cannot properly diagnose without inserting finger and sigmoid....so I said okay do what must be done, you are the expert. It hurt, bad, our rears are ultra sensitive, not sure if this is now a setback....

Thanks so much for your 3 answers.

Since I know what will happen if I go to the dr (a she), it is cheaper to do it myself lol in other words, she will just pile tons of creams and the such onto me, which will cost.

I eventually took my husband's idea up; I was feeling stubborn before, because why should I have to do all this, when it was THEIR negligence? I HATE injustice. Well, as I said, we have moved out of the sector and thus, I have calmed down and now use Germaline which is an anti bacterial cream and it does work wonders. I am also using Vaseline.

Since only joining yesterday and scanning what you all go through, I see that I am mild compared to most ( a positive comparison lol). I get more pain AFTER than during, which is a huge relief. My problem is the itching, which I know well is the healing process, but sadly, I have scratched and go right back to the beginning again, but I am learning to leave well alone.

It is funny if one can put a bit of humor into it, because I walk out of the bathroom, in a stance that can only induce mirth, but if my husband is nearby, he will say: pain, baby? I say: sadly yes, but am going to put cream on now and it does bring such relief and I can then get on with my day.

I know that softening the toilet is the answer, but hey, I have changed my diet ( due to other reasons) and instead of visiting the powder room once, it seems like several times in the day and that is SORE.

When I first discovered I have a fissure, I did quite a bit of research and what came back was that many refuse to even go to the toilet, due to the pain. Now coming on here, I see that my pain is really, very mild, because it only lasts for about 5 mins after.

Oh oops sorry to not mentioning how long I have suffered. Well, time for me is very difficult and thus, I can only guess. I think: 2 year's or a bit more.

I must admit, I wish I was not a regular visitor to that blasted room!