To start things off, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for eight years. It is been a very long and trying process. In late December we finally got the good news that we were expecting. Shortly after that when we should have been celebrating our final win, we find ourselves at the hands of anal fissures.
When I first found out I was pregnant I found myself with a little bout of constipation due to what I assume to be the holidays and the progesterone slowing down my natural bowel rhythm. I had always gotten hemorrhoids around the time that I would get my periods. The hemorrhoids would always come about the day before and they would hurt for like a day and I would treat them with a bath containing some Epsom salt and then they would be gone. Life as it should be.
We had company come over Christmas vacation and with us only having the one restroom I allowed myself to get really backed up. When I finally was able to go I ended up causing an anal fissure. At first I just assumed that it was a hemorrhoid and that maybe I just gave myself a really bad one and that's why it wasn't going away… I missed two weeks of work before I finally scheduled an appointment with a proctologist.
He couldn't see me for another two weeks down the road. I was in excruciating pain like nothing I have ever felt. I have broken bones all over my body, I have had hemorrhoids, I have experienced all different kinds of pain throughout my life… Nothing, and I mean nothing compares to the pain of this. While I was waiting for my appointment with the doctor I went on the infamous Google search. I looked up everything that was possibly going to help relieve some of this pain. I increased my water to over half a gallon a day. I increase my fiber both with fibrous vegetables and with a raw fiber supplement. I started going on walks. I started taking sitz baths. I started myself on a regiment of MiraLAX every day. I would apply coconut oil before and after movements.
Finally my doctors appointment came and he looked at me and told me that I did indeed have a fissure. He prescribed me nifedipine 2% with lidocaine 5%. And told me that I would just have to apply this three times a day and I should get some relief. I have been using the cream along with all of my other things for the past two weeks and have found that the cream gives no pain relief whatsoever. I find myself begging my husband for death on the nights when I have to use the restroom.
Last night it finally got so bad that I told him that I couldn't take it anymore. I decided I was going to go on a liquid diet so that I wouldn't go to the bathroom anymore. My stools haven't been hard since the end of December when I had that bout of constipation. But, due to pregnancy I'm only going every 3 to 4 days and on the days when I do finally go I have to go to to three times in one day. The stools are consistently soft. I figure that if I can put it off for maybe two weeks or something I might be able to heal. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what else to do and there seems like there's no sort of relief in sight.
I am now 12 weeks pregnant and I haven't been able to enjoy a single day of my pregnancy. Even on the day when I went to get my first ultrasound and got to hear my baby's heartbeat all I could think about was how much it hurt to have to sit up on top of that table.
Anyway, I guess I was just kind of writing this to hear some good news. Maybe hope that light is just around the corner. The doctor is telling me that the next step is Botox but he won't even see me until my next appointment which is March 15. That means that I'll have two more full weeks of this nonstop pain. I just don't know if I can deal with it.