How I cured my anal fissure. (Feel free to skip down to "What worked" if you don't want to read the back story.
What I used/bought*
· Bathroom trash bin (regular ol’ trash bin. I already had one).
· A Sitz Bath (Specifically, I bought the “Yunga Tart Seatz Bath” off of amazon, for $17. You put it on your toilet, and it has an IV-like puch to continue pouring hot water into the sitz bath’s basin.
· Petroleum Jelly (Mine had cocoa butter in it, but I don’t know if the cocoa butter in the petroleum jelly any difference. I don’t think so, but go for it, I’d say.)
· MOST IMPORTANTLY – this oil I found online: H-Fissures Formula, by HealingNaturalOils (or Amoils).
· Medicated Pads
How I got the fissure:
I am 28 now, and I was 23 when I got the fissure. I am generally on a high protein diet, and I tend to eat over 200 grams of protein a day when I’m sticking to a muscle/mass-building regimen. This may not be the case for other young gentlemen, but my stools are significantly larger when I am on these diets. Mix that with little fiber and little water: recipe for a disaster, as was my case.
So at 23, I experienced the first pains of an anal fissure (terribly painful bowel movements, fear of having to do #2, the throbbing afterwards). However, until I was 27, I just dealt with the fissure by laying off the proteins, by drinking lots of water (good overall health decision anyway), and by making sure I got my daily fiber. The fissure would (mostly) heal after a couple of days. I’d go weeks without any blood/painful bowel movement, but, after 4 years of dealing with sporadic episodes, I was (and still am) convinced that this is something that I’ll always have, or at the very least be susceptible to.
The Last Straw
In 2017, at age 27, I again had a large bowel movement, due to the high protein diet. But this particular case led to the most excruciating moments that I can remember. So bad that I would writhe for hours on end after a bowel movement, being unable to stand or sit upright for any extended period of time. It was the worst pain I had experienced since ever developing the fissure 4 years prior.
What I initially tried (i.e. what didn’t work)
For 1 week, I fasted, eating only fish oil and vitamin A capsules in the morning. The goal was to not have a single bowel movement for a week, so that the fissure would presumably heal itself (and I had found a website where someone else who had a fissure stated that this would work). But after the week was done, my stupid ass decided to have an omelet as my first meal to break the fast (I think it might have been a steak omelet, I’m embarrassed to say). My next bowel movement was the worst that I had ever had.
After that, I pulled no punches. I was going to subdue this plague.
What worked (How I got healed):
1. Poop all you can poop, and then fast for several days (4 days worked for me).
Explanation: The goal here to have no bowel movements, while you take other measures to heal the fissure. The other measures follow.
a. Poop, squatting. Turn your trash can over, put your feet up on it, and let gravity handle the rest.
Explanation: Since age 23 (when I first got my fissure), I’ve found that gravity does a much better job of moving one’s bowels than the “pushing” our Western society now thinks is normal. Go look it up online; our bodies are made to defecate in a squatting position; not the “normal” sitting position. I squatted at 23, and I haven’t looked back since. It’s a rare day that I don’t find something to put my feet on, when I poop.
2. Get your anus clean after pooping. Showers are best. Medicated wipes if you can’t shower.
Explanation: After pooping, the best thing is to take a shower, and thoroughly wash your anus. Get the soap, and get all up in there. Finger yourself, honestly. You want the healing process to have as little germs as possible, germs which could slow the healing process.
3. Do a sitz bath after you have both pooped AND cleaned your anus. Make sure your feet are on top of the over-turned trash can. Maximize the anal exposure to the hot water, and spread the cheeks. Do this for 15 minutes. Twice a day for four days did it for me.
a. The sitz bath that I bought off of amazon came with an IV-like pouch that could store more warm water for your 15-minute sitz baths (that’s how long I would do them).
b. I read that the warm water increases blood circulation to the anus, quickening the healing process. The pouch was helpful because the water in the actual sitz basin would cool quickly, and, when that happened, all I would have to do was unpinch the plastic tube between the pouch and the basin, in order keep the basin replenished with warm water.
i. Note – I would scald my water on the kitchen stove before pouring it into the pouch. Was probably too hot (the opening to the pouch became deformed, no biggie, still worked), but I made sure that the water was at the peak temperature I could handle on my butt. Exactly like you’d see in that old Bugs Bunny cartoon when he would ease himself into a “hot tub”.
4. Wash your hands thoroughly, and apply the H-Fissures Formula to the fissure. Again, get all up in there and finger yourself. Don’t let any part of that fissure get neglected.
I stand by this formula, whatever the hell it is.
5. Apply a somewhat liberal amount of petroleum jelly to the same area as you applied the H-Fissures Formula. Get. All. Up. In There.
Explanation – the goal here is to keep the fissure and the area around it moist. The moisture aids with the healing process. And the petroleum jelly applied to a clean booty hole keeps the germs/contaminants from interfering with your body’s self-healing.
In sum, I did this for 4 days; I pooped, fasted, ate only fish oil capsules and vitamin A pills in the morning, had no bowel movements, cleaned my booty hole in the shower, did a hot-water sitz bath twice a day (one before work, and one at some point after work), applied the H-Fissures Formula with Petroleum Jelly, and had a smoooooooth bowel movement thereafter.
Let me know if this works for you. I’m so glad I have my life back.