Day 15 of zero spasms

Going on my 5th month of fissure frustration

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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby tightbutt5678 » 13 Jun 2019, 03:59

Update: Didn't have time to drink the coffee which was annoying. Went to the loo right after prune juice.
- BM was dryer than usual but still around pain level 1 right after
- culprits are most likely: 2 bananas instead of one, lowered miralax dosage, drank less water

I really wanted to try an olive oil enema before going but the BM came fast after the prune juice so might try tomorrow if there's time. I feel like injecting oil should let things slide out better after lubing with vaseline. In my mind this seems like the best way to let things exit but I feel like I never have time to properly try it. Let's see tomorrow...

Current feelings:
- Am getting more comfortable with the idea of surgery. Feeling confident that I can recover quickly with all the tools I've aquired from trying to heal naturally
- I might try infrared light therapy?
- I might see a homeopath or some alternative doc in the meantime to see if they can offer anything I haven't considered yet.
- Feeling more relaxed each day. I have mini *almost* panic attacks here and there but I am getting better at stopping them in their tracks and getting on with the day. Meditation and reading a book about mindfulness is really helpful too!
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
tightbutt5678
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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby tightbutt5678 » 16 Jun 2019, 03:51

Day 26 of zero spasms

Can't believe it has been so long without spasms now! It has been almost a month but I haven't noticed improvement within the month, unfortunately.

- BM today was soft and small but still pain level 1 shortly afterwards
- I need to remember to try the oil enema before BM
- The only times I ever had slippery, smooth-edge BMs were when I used melilax micro-enemas to create the urge to go. I don't think it's healthy to use these on a daily basis but I think homemade micro-enemas with olive oil/coco oil should be fine? Will try next time before a BM if the urge isn't urgent.
- I am going to make some phone calls about surgery tonight! I am feeling more and more confident about LIS with the research I've done. Feeling confident that this might be the final answer to getting fully healed.
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
tightbutt5678
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 155
Topics: 16
Joined: 07 May 2019, 04:10
Location: Adelaide , Australia
Has thanked: 67 times
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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby tightbutt5678 » 17 Jun 2019, 06:17

Day 27

I have decided to bite the bullet and am flying home to Australia this week to consult about surgery and take the next step. I am going on my 5th month with this fissure and it has truly taken over my life but most importantly my mental health. It has been a very emotional choice as I am leaving my work, life, projects here in Europe for a while but I feel I need to be close to family for love, support and hopefully an easy recovery post-surgery! If anyone has had surgery for fissures in Adelaide or Melbourne, I'd love to hear from ya! Cheers!
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
tightbutt5678
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 155
Topics: 16
Joined: 07 May 2019, 04:10
Location: Adelaide , Australia
Has thanked: 67 times
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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby appleapple » 17 Jun 2019, 08:44

Good luck and sending lots of good vibes.

If you don't mind me asking, you've been managing so well, and seems like a natural healing is totally achievable (and near), what made you still consider LIS?
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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby tightbutt5678 » 17 Jun 2019, 09:13

Hey appleapple, I've basically just become fed up with living like this. I can't make plans, I feel very stressed when traveling (I travel a lot for work), I am socially isolated and extremely depressed after so much time trying so hard to fix it. I haven't seen any improvement within a month even though I thought I'd found the ultimate healing routine. Even when my BM is the perfect consistency, I still feel pain level 1 or 2 sometimes, still sometimes tightness hours after. Before my period I seem to get hard BMs so constantly retearing. Even if I get to a point where it feels almost healed, I feel as though it'll just tear again as soon as I relax. I feel like rather than it healing, I am basically just putting on a really good bandage at the moment. I've become really good at caring for it but I don't feel it's healing further.

Personally, I am ready to take the risk of surgery. I might be too impatient but I have done so much work and feel satisfied with having tried to heal naturally for this long. I have read so many times people saying they wish they'd done surgery earlier. It might not work but I feel very ready to try. It'll be either LIS or fissurectomy with botox. I'll see what the docs say.

In any case, everyone should try to heal naturally for a while before surgery. That way, if surgery is the ultimate choice, recovery will be much faster having acquired all of the healing tools and knowledge already. :)

How are you feeling in terms of your progress?
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
tightbutt5678
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 155
Topics: 16
Joined: 07 May 2019, 04:10
Location: Adelaide , Australia
Has thanked: 67 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby appleapple » 17 Jun 2019, 18:21

tightbutt - I see. I totally understand the feeling - my whole life stopped after I got this. I had to take almost two weeks off from work in April, and now I'm taking the entire June off. Hubby is playing an important role by just being there. I can't imagine doing without a support system (or person) near by.

I'm still seeing small progress every day (it's very slow, and sometimes not entirely linear), but I haven't given up hope on a natural healing yet. The CRS I've seen twice so far wasn't very pleasant to deal with, so next time I need to see a doctor, I have to find another CRS first.
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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby tightbutt5678 » 18 Jun 2019, 02:50

That's amazing that you can take the whole month off to focus on healing! I think that is a smart choice and you will definitely see progress if you keep it up. And it's great that you have your hubby for support. I think one of the hardest things for me has been the loneliness of this whole thing. I have great friends here but no one to come home to and cry to and hug when I am feeling low. It's very hard to go through this alone. And spending SO many hours at home alone because I feel too afraid to eat and drink out has worn me down like nothing else.

I imagine I'll have to wait a month or so for surgery so I still have time to keep healing naturally. I'll also be off work and with my family around so maybe those things will be the missing ingredients to the healing process. :)
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
tightbutt5678
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 155
Topics: 16
Joined: 07 May 2019, 04:10
Location: Adelaide , Australia
Has thanked: 67 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby appleapple » 20 Jun 2019, 14:37

how are you doing tightbutt?
appleapple
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Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby tightbutt5678 » 22 Jun 2019, 08:02

Hey appleapple! I am now at my parent's house, it is day 2 since being here. It has been difficult adjusting with jet lag and sleep deprivation. I have been quite bad anxiety -wise and emotionally but I think the whole move back and lack of sleep has just overwhelmed me a bit. Feeling really sad to be off work and away from friends and europe summer! I had mild spasms coming home from the airport but it wasn't surprising due to sitting for a long period and not being able to do a sitz bath after going to the loo on the plane. Plane food wasn't too bad , I was really worried about that.

Next wednesday I have an appt with a CRS! Looking forward to it. I am worried he might say that surgery isn't a good idea if the pain is no longer severe? I honestly am ready to go under the knife. Today I had a harder BM, it was so slow exiting which I haven't experienced in months. But strangely only discomfort after... No real burning sensation. This is very confusing! lol

I am still on rectogesic and baths whenever I feel tightness. I am wondering how i'd go without those but I am fairly sure spasms would return...

Todays food:
Breaky- oats with kiwi, 1 egg poached
1 coffee to get the BM on its way
lunch- actually no lunch because I ate breaky so late but I did snack on grapes and pineapple
took probiotic, l-lysine and zinc supps 1 hour before dinner
dinner- fish, sweet potato and normal potato, broccoli
greek yoghurt with 2 prunes and honey
took 1 cod liver oil, 2 magnesium (Mag07 as I ran out of mag citrate), 1 miralax in almond milk

- I hope lack of mag citrate won't cause issues but then again my harder BM today was strangely alright. Maaaybe my bms have been too soft and acidic recently? It is so hard to know. I haven't had chocolate the last two days... maybe that is a good thing. But damn I love chocolate!

Hoping to sleep tonight as the last few days I've has been running on around 3 or 4 hours and my brain does not feel healthy :/
- February 2019 : Fissure
- Tried all of the creams, perfecting the diet, self dilation
- Reduced symptoms significantly but still not healed
- July 2019 : LIS with tag removal
tightbutt5678
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 155
Topics: 16
Joined: 07 May 2019, 04:10
Location: Adelaide , Australia
Has thanked: 67 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Day 15 of zero spasms

Postby appleapple » 25 Jun 2019, 08:46

tightbutt - glad you are in the presence of family! if you don't mind me asking, do you have a sentinel pile? how big is it and does it irritate you (when you touch it, is it sensitive)?
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 142
Topics: 4
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 5 times
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