Cool! We'll have to compare notes on tattoos sometime :) I've been getting myself inked since I was 18, I currently have them up and down both arms, on one leg, and two biggish ones on my back, one over each shoulder blade. I'd keep getting more (there's no end to my ideas on what I'd get next) but my tattoo artist lives in Los Angeles, and since I moved to where I am now, I don't get down there as often as I'd like to anymore.
I've had my fissure for about 4 months, with about 1.5 months where the symptoms were sheer hell, and I know what you mean about the impact on the immune system. I starved myself for a while too and lost a ton of weight, my pants and wedding ring don't really fit anymore, both keep slipping off. I'm trying to put back some of the weight but it's tough. I'm sure the starving isn't helping the body heal the fissure.
If the Valium seems to help with just a couple of the 2 mg tablets, maybe you could consider asking the doc if you can take a higher dose to start and then taper down? When my fissure spasms were real bad I needed 10 mg at once to calm it down, but usually get by with a much lower dose now. There are definitely folks taking way higher doses of Valium daily, but that's usually for anxiety rather than muscle spasms.
Personally I don't think it'd be a good idea to drink alcohol with tramadol and Valium even if you stop taking them for a day... Valium has a pretty long half life so some will likely still be kicking around in your system. But I can see both sides of the coin on that one :) I used to love alcohol, anything from the Guiness/Kilkenny type of beer to Asian rice spirits and American bourbons, single malts, plain old lagers, you name it, I enjoyed it! In fact we've got a long weekend coming up (Labor Day) tomorrow and I've got a few bottles of Laphroaig and Macallan scotch complete with cigars just calling my name! But alas, due to the medications I've been on, I haven't had a drop of booze since February and likely won't for a while :( It sucks but I'd do damn near anything to get rid of this fissure! Anyhow hope you make out okay no matter what you decide, but it does seem like a rather risky proposition to me personally.