Ok,
First off, I'm so sorry for all the questions, but I had a really, really bad week and now I'm trying to analyze (or over-analyze as the case may be) to figure out what went wrong.
Admittedly, I started getting a little confident and started pushing, just a little at the end, to get all the poo out in order to not have a hard tipped poo in the begin of the next BM. It seemed to work at first, but I started to notice a progressive sting and then a few days later, I reopened it.
I guess to get to the point, what are other people's opinions on pushing.
Do you do it at all?
Just a little to get it started?
Never at the end to get everything out?
Thanks!

i think everyone will have a different answer depending on the situation.
i know for me, my biggest problem isn't necesssarily with bms but pushing a fart out!!!! can you imagine that!!!!!!????? i hate the feeling of having gas moving around inside and it DRIVES me crazy to have a little fart just teasing me to get out at the edge of my exit sign and it just lingers......and i get impatient and like a big mean usher at the opera, i escort the irritating fart out by pushing. maybe i can get away with it once but then another one shows up and that's where i cause irritation and i end up paying for it later in the day.
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with regards to bm, if you are not listening to your body when it is truly ready to let go of the bm, then sometimes, like say i have the urge to go at 3 pm at work but i will never bm at work unless if it uncontrollable diah.....then i will wait to get home and if i can't get that 'urge' feeling to go again, i will have to use some pushing.
for me, i have been able to differentiate a pushing that comes from like the pubic area/anal area below compared to one that initiates from what feels like the diaphragm and the abdomen area. one doesn't require much work - the pubic push - whereas the abdomen push requires some centering and a focus on breathing from above and using that to move the abs muscles - or what may feel like the abs muscles. you take advantage of taking a long deep breathe which makes it feel like you are pushing things down from the tummy and then you use the exhilation to push from the tummy, not the anus.
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i notice that pushing from abs/breathing helps to get things started and to keep things going. when i try to do this, sometimes i can get the body to relax and prepared to release the bm and in time it will give me the signal again that it is ready. what helps too, is that if you squat on the floor before getting to the toilet and use this breathing technique, it could possibly help to get that 'body signal' again that it is ready to evacuate a stool.
but sometimes if you are not focused or patient enough, you will use the anal push which if you have other issues other than a fissure, since there is so much pressure there, i think really gives you a chance to irritate and compound the problem. for instance if you have a fistula or a tiny hemmy, this could make those things irritated because you are pushing against them.
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with regards to getting everything out.......my advice here is that if you feel that you have pushed too much already and can't get that last amount out, wait it out until your body is ready.
sometimes you will feel like you've done a 100% release and others you won't.
but the trick here is all psychological and the whole reward is that if you don't push anally, you will feel much better. even if it means waiting another 30 min or a few hours later for the body to tell you again, okay, i am ready to release that little pooh that was left at the opera!
NEVER GET CONFIDENT about pushing! :-) be very careful with it. it is a delicate balance.

Thanks for that insight Happy. I needed that!

I never ever do the "anal push" as happyass put it. I recommed you do not do it at all. Before my AF, I think I used to push a lot...which was probably because i was often constipated which led to this whole thing to begin with.
I agree with HA about the deep breathing / ab push. I started doing deep breathing to calm myself down during bm's (rather than grittin my teeth which is counterproductive). By doing the deep breathing, I sort of figured out the ab push...but I try not to even do that.
I've mentioned this trick on other threads, but I'll mention it again (and it's actually based on a advice from HA a while back). When you feel like you have a little bit left, but it's not coming out, take a wadded up piece of tp, run it under warm/hot (but not scalding) water and press it against your anus. Completely relax yourself, maybe try deep breathing. I find the warm water often helps me relieve anything that's leftover in there.
If you haven't already, you might want to try fish or flax oil as well...these have omega 3 fatty acids that can help lubricate your intestines and could make BM evacuate smoother.
Of course, diet may also be playing a role. But I'm assuming you've altered your diet, getting a lots of fiber from veggies and whole grains.
Hard-tipped poos are my worst enemy...i'm trying out colace...about 200mg a day...today i had the perfect poo...although it's too early to tell if that's due to the colace or what i ate yesterday.

Good advice...thanks Steve! I've actaully be trying the warm, wet tp for relaxation when I can't do a sitz bath, which I think one of you mentioned.

From what I have read, bms should be effortless but as you know that is not always the case. I think pushing from the abs is best. I try not to make my body do anything it doesn't seem to want to do though. I figure if it doesn't seem to come just wait until your body gives you a signal it is time to expel.

Hey, Chris, I thought of one more thing...do you snack late at night? I eat dinner and then stop eating after that...so usually that means i don't eat past 8/9pm. I think avoiding late night snacks has helped my regularity... Just a thought.

Thanks Steve.
Actually, I'm afraid to eat like I used to eat. I can easily say that I take in less calories then I have in the last 10 years. I wonder if that hurts or helps me. I know Kim says to avoid large BMs, but I wondering if the reduced food total in my system causes a less complete BM.
To that point, I can't remember the last time I had a decent piece of food.

Chris, I say, please go out and get some food you like and eat it! Don't let this fissure rule your life -- moderation is the key. I wouldn't eat a 12 ounce steak, but I would take a few bites.
Don't completely deprive yourself, just be moderate when you do fall off the diet for an occasional meal. No Mexican smorgasbords!
Reduced food intake does mean a reduced BM, and I always did best when I had small stool volume. Yes, reduced food will mean less stools, but I don't think it would cause an incomplete BM in and of itself. Be sure you use supplements of some kind so that on days when you really feel the need to reduce your food intake your body doesn't take a nutritional hit.
But do occasionally allow yourself moderate portions of those foods you love and crave.

I'm having some spoons of peanut butter as we speak. Thanks Kim for the sound advice.
I've actually lost 35 pounds in the last 5-6 weeks and now find some seats in the house hurt my tailbone. I think the combo of loosing weight and not being able to work out my legs, and hence my gluts, has caused me to have a reduction in that area.