So I think I might have OD'd on fiber. Too many rye crackers yesterday combined with the fact that I started taking max doses of Benefiber= ouch. Benefiber seems to have a more subtle effect than Metamucil, which I can't take because it tears me up. So I didn't think I could hurt myself with the Benefiber but I might have been wrong. Last night I had crazy crampy gassy achy pain--it was rectal/vaginal/perineal all at the same time; I could hardly walk. This morning I felt a little better but I had a bigger BM thanks to all the fiber and of course there was a little blood on the TP and pain afterwards. It wasn't even that big of a BM! I can't pass anything very big these days without tearing. I think my butt must be hella tight.
So this morning I sat on my microwaveable heating pad as I was driving the kids to school--that helped and I feel OK at the moment. I took a couple of Aleve anyway and I'm headed straight to the bath for at least an hour with a big cup of chamomile tea. Times like these I'm so glad I'm a stay at home mom, at least I can't get fired for sitting in the bath half the day.
I think the human butt needs a redesign! Who wants to sign my petition? Why shouldn't BOTH sphincters be under voluntary control? Why? This is dumb. A cut anywhere else on the body heals within days as long as you're not diabetic. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Ok, I'm finished with my rant. Two weeks to go before I see the CRS. I live in fear of that appointment. I think I'd rather be alone in a room with a large spider. But I need this fixed so I can move on...if it's even fixable. My worst fear is that I've let it go too long and now I'm such a mess I'm doomed to live with it forever, which I probably am to some extent.