of all the places to hurt - I am a positive person. As I mentioned in my post above, I did think I was going to die when I first got my cancer diagnosis. I did go through a period of time when that's all I could think of. I've been through all of the recommended treatments and now all I can do is live as healthy as possible and hope it doesn't come back - and live my life!
Just when I thought I could live my life (the end of my radiation) - I realize my hemorrhoid is really an anal fissure. And boy does this thing take over your life! But I am doing what needs to be done and if I need yet another surgery, so be it. Can't live with this forever, that's for sure.

Wonderful wise words giz..
Everytime i read about someone on here it makes things alot easier for people like me to understand what others are or have gone through...you do feel like your the only one for a time even though you know there must be people out there who have been through the same or worse but finding them and getting the support and information you need to make you feel more relaxed and informed is hard..searching the net takes its toll but this forum is the best tool ive found and instead of crying this morning when i woke i felt alot more prepared for my surgery.
But you are right..defo cant live with the fistula forever, it stops you doing things you wouldn't even think it could!
All the best..keep posting
Di x