New Sufferer Needing Support

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New Sufferer Needing Support

Postby Jojo1 » 13 Oct 2011, 13:55

Hello;
This'll be kind of long, cuz I gotta let it out. I am new to this board and just found it today. I've been suffering from a fissure since the end of June. Mine was the result of passing hard stool due to the calcium supplements I have to take. I don't have a choice about the calcium so I know that some regimen of stool softeners, water, fiber will be my life from now on. But, at this point, I'm just wishing for healing . . . for normal days of going to the bathroom without dreading it . . . heck, without even thinking about it . . . sitting down without at least a twinge of pain . . . sitting up straight without shifting to one side or the other, one hip or the other, which my torso has gotten really tired of . . . having a restful night's sleep without fearing the morning and having a morning that doesn't include varying degrees of excrutiating pain for several hours . . . and anxiety about each bite the rest of the day cuz you know what goes in must come out.
The first week was the worst because I was still constipated and the pain of hard stool right in the rectum always pressing on the area . . . I literally could not be upright for more than 45 seconds without screaming in agony. I was out of work for a week and spent all of that time, except maybe 2-3 hours in the evening, in the bed, when not sitting in a warm soak applying ointment or, at it's worst, stuffing an ice pack between my cheeks. I was able to go, but only with painful pushing, no matter how much water/fiber/stool softener/miralax I took until the end of that week when I finally pushed through the last of the hard stool. The only reason I was even able to do it was because I had fallen asleep and slept for two hours with solid ice pack (water-filled ziploc bag from the freezer) between my checks and when I went the entire area was numb. I know it was awful, but at least I couldn't feel it and I broke through.
Little bit by little bit I began to improve slightly - improve meaning dealing with barely measurably less pain for shorter durations each day. At least I was able to get back to work - painfully, but there you go. I have been doing the soaks, plus using the nitro ointment prescribed by my doctor since then. He told me that there is a surgical procedure, but I really didn't want to do that if it could heal on it's own, plus he said he prefers patients try healing first and save the surgery as a last resort. So, I started my painful journey.
Towards the end of July, I thought I was really making progress. My days had become much less painful, almost approaching normal . . . almost. I had no pain when applying the ointment so I thought that was a good sign. Unfortunately, I went to the ER with shortness of breath and was diagnosed with bi-lateral PE's as well as DVT's in my left leg. You guessed it . . . this was a direct result of that first week dealing with the fissure. Admitted to ICU and spent a week in the hospital and now I'm on Coumadin for 6 months.
As I said, I thought I was doing much better, but then had a setback about 6 weeks ago. I thought maybe something I ate aggravated the fissure, but I've been so careful and limited in my eating since going on the Coumadin. I then thought maybe I had developed hemorrhoids . . . which I also have no experience with. Went back to my colo-rectal surgeon and he said he didn't want to do a digital exam or colonoscopy until the fissure was more healed and would not discuss surgery until I'd been off the Coumadin for a couple of months. Well, I still don't want to have surgery and was only interested in the colonoscopy, but if I have another setback as bad as that one, I'll probably let him cut whatever he wants to cut for some relief. I know I really struggled with some depression that particular weekend. Self-medicating with Harry Potter helped some.
Since then, I started looking into natural ways of healing cuts. I'm doing everything else he prescribed, but it all was geared toward relaxing the muscle and preventing spasms to "allow" the fissure to heal. It made sense to me that I should be doing something to actually promote the healing. So I started with regular tears/cuts. I mean, it's a cut, just tricky because it's in a place always under tension and repeatedly contaminated with waste when you have a bowel movement. But something should still help it.
I started applying vitamin E oil from the capsules to it and about a week later found the Golden Salve. It had several things my research said were good for healing, like comfrey root, golden seal, yellow root, etc. I started using that as well and the fissure seemed to be getting better but this other pain that I associated with hemorrhoids didn't budge.
The feeling is just a sore, raw feeling like something is pulled out of whack. I don't feel protrusions or "grapes" like I've read, but I do feel a swelling in that area of the opening. I thought I was making a little progress, but had a rehearsal Saturday morning and really upset the fissure sitting in that folding chair. I should have asked for another, but was too self-conscious. So, I've taken a couple of steps back.
So, I'm on my own with trial and error. So far, I've been increasing my fiber with fruits and vegetables plus using benefiber. I've been trying to get my stool to a moist, fluffy consistency hoping that will benefit both the fissure and the possible hemorrhoids, but haven't found the right combination yet. I'm getting my routine down though. I filled about 8-10 ziploc sandwich bags with about 1 inch of water and hang them in my freezer. I usually grab one after my post-BM soak in the morning, wrap it in about 4 wet wipes and situate it for some relief. My mornings from about 3-7 are filled with two bathroom sessions (wish I could get it down to one, but my body rules and I let it lead), followed by a soak and putting some of the muscle relaxer on and then, hopefully, a nap til the second round . . . so I can try to be ready to go to work still.
One upside is that I'm alone so I don't have a husband and children depending on me to be the stable, lovable wife and mother. That's also a downside because something like this makes you feel isolated and alone enough that when you really are alone . . . let's just say it's difficult.
I just came across a website about Fissureheal. Based on the natural healing information I've been researching the past few weeks, that seems like something worth trying. I'd be interested to know others' experience with it. Okay, I think that's all that's in my head at the moment, so I'll conclude my introduction. I'm glad to have a place to go for support and to commiserate, though. It just may get me through this.
Jojo1
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Re: New Sufferer Needing Support

Postby dwarfs8 » 13 Oct 2011, 18:26

Hi there, so sorry that u r suffering! I got my fissure mid april and only start to calm it down after 5 months, so u gonna expect long healing and I too like many others here, has loads of ups and downs. More downs too and finally calms down, though now I have another issue which I am dealing with- internal prolapsed hemm. I do believe it's bcos of my constipation previously which has caused them and further damage it as I am battling with spasms and fissure.
Anyway, do read up http://anal-fissure.org/t3555-my-success-story?highlight=Success+story
I m like u, not ready for surgery, so I left it to the last option without first mastered up all possible healing methods. U will know when u had enough, cos only then ur emotions will be ready to take the risk.
There is indeed hope at the end of this tunnel!
dwarfs8
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Re: New Sufferer Needing Support

Postby Jojo1 » 14 Oct 2011, 10:33

Thanks so much for the encouragement. Glad you're doing better, but sorry you're having a new issue to deal with.
Jojo1
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
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