So, I'm going to see the CRS on Monday and I have a lot of anxiety about going, mostly because I've been feeling better for the most part, and I'm afraid the examination is going to hurt. The last time someone looked at it a couple weeks ago, I was in extreme pain for days (grated that person was a general surgeon and did not seem to know what he was doing). I feel like I've been doing so well since I've been on the diet, doing sitz baths, and taking Metamucil which I started doing about a week ago after I posted the first time on this forum. I'm just afraid that I'm going to be in pain all over again come Monday. I'm going to tell the Dr. that I know what it is and where it is and I'm hoping that I won't have to have that horrible rectal exam again.
On another note, I have had no pain at all since I've been on my new routine until this morning when I had a BM that was a bit wide. I didn't have bleeding, but now I have some stinging. Granted, it's not nearly as bad as the pain I was experiencing before, but it's enough to be concerned about since I haven't had pain at all really for a week. I hope I didn't re-tear it, but if I re-tore it, there would be blood, right? I'm really hoping I'm not back at square one because of this.

I understand your fears on the exam. I am really worried that my scan is going to make matters so much worse.
I figure I have to try to get it properly sorted but I would back out if I were not so determined!
I wish you all the best with this, have you tried movicol? its great for softening stools, and i never get the wide load effects with it!
Iona

Iona,
Thanks for your well wishes. I thought about trying a stool softener, but since I was doing great with the other things I did not want to mess it up. I was fine until yesterday. Weird. I guess maybe I should now, but since I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow morning, I'm going to wait and see what he says. I'm afraid of taking the wrong one or two much and then ending up with diarrhea or too soft stools.
I made the mistake of eating out last night. It was a vegetarian restaurant and I just had some veggies, a little fake meat, and soup, but I ended up with hard stools followed by diarrhea this morning and now I'm in pain all over again. I hate that this is controlling my life. I'm worried about Thanksgiving this week. I think I won't be able to eat anything and we're going on out town. I already had to cancel an outing today for Tuesday that I've been looking forward to for a month because there is going to be nothing to eat but junk food and alcohol and I don't want twenty people asking me what's wrong. It's just so awkward.
Let's just hope the doctor can help. :D If I can get over my fear of going through the exam again it will be okay. Thanks for your support! Good luck with your exam as well. I hope it's not as bad as we think it is!

Hey Goma,
I think its the fear thats worst.. And makes you tense which cant be a good thing with muscles envolved!
I truely cant recomentd movicol or the usa version which is mirilax i think. I was worried before taking it, but it really works. My stool is weird, but not wet, if you under stand what i mean. I dont get dihorhea from it, it just makes it sort of whippy ish. sounds foul but its not bad, i dont have to strain at all, i just go when i need to and all is well.
Re thanksgiving, I had a really bad food week binging on junk like party sized bags of onion rings, cake, huge amounts of pasta and the worst stodge i was so bloated i though i would ruin my rear all over again. I just had an extra sachet of movicol and i was totally fine.
I was really scared i would be alergic or something, but i was fine. obveously you have to be careful but it could really help you.
I hope you have a good thanks giving,
My best

i really hate docs who don't know what they are doing! It takes me to see several stupid doctors before i came to my CRS. It will still somehow hurt after his digital examination, as it's having something to poke into you after all! But the pain/pressure shld be away in a day or two.
I understand the fear of eating something doubtful/never tried before. I lost 7kg in 5months too. Thank God i've been expanding my eating options ever since my fissure got better. The rule of thumb is to eat fibrous food (veg, fruits, grains) BUT not overdo it, as it will bulk up and if not enough water is drank, it can still harden.

Iona- Yes, the fear is the worst part for sure! How did your exam go?
Dwarfs8- That's so true. I think I was eating too much fibrous food at first, which I think was what part of the problem was.
I went and saw the CRS and he was super nice and very gentle. The exam didn't even hurt. I found out that the last guy said the fissure was in the wrong place. The doctor seemed shocked when I told him what happened at the general surgeon. He told me that he examined me in the wrong position as well and it never should have hurt like that. He told me I'd made the right decision and surgery is usually a last resort kind of thing. I'm on medicine now, a cream, but he said it's weaker than some of the medicines that were mentioned to me on the boards here. He wanted to try it first. He also put me on Colace and kept me on the metamucil. I go back in a few weeks and he's going to see how it's going, and take it from there. So far, so good. However, I'm sick now with a bad cold and my stomach seems wrong, so I'm hoping this isn't going to mess me up! I'm also 8 hours away from home due to the holidays. I wishing I just would have stayed at home.