I know this is going to sound drastic, but I am in a really bad place right now. I have suffered with pelvic floor dysfunction for over 12 years and a result of the dysfunction is the development of fissures and hemorrhoids. My first fissure was diagnosed about 6 years ago and I've had 3 or 4 diagnosed since then. All of them were said to be "superficial" and they healed with conservative treatment within a month or so. My butt pain never goes away and I have not been able to sit in a chair for about 10 years now. Work is very difficult and daily life is less than enjoyable, but I've seen specialists all over the country and there isn't much that can be done to relieve the underlying pelvic floor issues. Last month I developed some external hemorrhoids and used a steroid cream for about 3 weeks. I probably used too much too often and about 2 weeks ago I began to feel that stinging agonizing fissure pain. I know that a side effect of steroid ointment is thinning of tissue in the rectum and I actually developed a fissure about 3 years ago after using steroid cream for about a month. So, I feel like I brought this new fissure upon myself this time. I'm afraid that this tissue thinning may be irreversible and it may cause my fissure to not heal as it has before. In addition, I have always had trouble with bm's due to a very tight rectum that won't relax during bm's, but it has gotten much worse over the past few years, since I had my last fissure. I've tried squatting which seemed to work for awhile, but now I'm afraid to squat with the fissure because it seems as though it would put more pressure in the area. So, I have started sitting again, but I keep straining and my fissure pain seems to be getting worse because of the straining. I had a CRS that I was seeing for the past 10 years, but because I had also seen a general surgeon for my butt issues, the CRS told me that I should just see him for my problems from now on. The CRS that I was seeing was the only one licensed in the state that I live in, so now I'm stuck with no CRS to see for this. With no options, I'm feeling hopeless, overwhelmed and I'm contemplating suicide at this point. I do have a general surgeon that I've seen in the past, but he's not nearly as good as my CRS with these things and he's very rough during exams. He also has never actually diagnosed me with a fissure and I'm not sure that he knows where or what to look for with me. So if I see him, he could make me worse and still not diagnose the fissure and offer me a solution. Anyway, I'm venting, but I'm afraid that I can't deal with this much longer. I could go out of state, but can't afford the cost and time off from work.

I to have had the feeling that (pardon the pun) this thing has kicked my butt a few times. I have never dealt with something this discouraging but I woke up today and had a good day. Spent time with my grandson. Helped him with his science fair project. Would not trade that time for the world . I have had to pull out all of my recovery tricks ( old alkie). One day at a time, you can eat an elephant one bite at a time, I can't we can,and one of my favorites you can't save your face and your ass at the same time.As bad as I hurt my heart goes out to people on this board such as yourself. Change your environment (music watch positive things). I watched the movie elf about once a week. Also the movie Michael with John Travolta. No matter how bad I hurt I can't help but smile. I am sorry you are in such despair but hang in there.I will keep you in my prayers to my higher power.

i also had that feeling, i also have colitis which make bum issues worse, but i so far have it mild. please try to thing of better days because they do come eventually. I try to take one day at atime but sometimes it is hard when nothingis going right but one day comes and you will feel better. I will keep you in my prayers

i'm so sorry to hear that u've been suffering from this pain for so long... i had suffered this for a few months and initially when i first had this fissure, healed and re-torn itself, i thought that's it, i'll rather die than to suffer from this pain every single day... Then i finally got to see a CRS, and has done TONS of research regarding fissures, as i left surgery as the last option.. And thank God, i don't have pain from it anymore, only slight ones occasionally from my internal piles or what (i think).
Take a look at this thread "my success story", i hope you can find some ideas from it. Also, please stop taking steriods, they are no good for the fissure or anything at all! They actually caused my fissure to get worse!!!
Have you considered surgery LIS? since u've been suffering for so long, it's really a good chance for you i would think. AND i think u SHLD GO BACK TO THE CRS!! He knows all about butt issues!!

feel free to vent it here, we all understand and has been thru the same dark tunnel u're going through now.

dwarfs8, could you please post the link to your success story?
thanks

mm92599 how are you feeling now? I hope you are feeling better, having read your post I can only sympathise with what you are going through. I went through horrendous gynae issues, followed by fissures which I am battling through but its nothing compared to the time you have suffered. Please don't give up, I have felt a simialar way that you do. One thing I have learnt is that you have to keep going back no matter what until you are better, is there someone you could talk to maybe about how you are feeling? Please don't suffer alone, feel free to vent on here as much as you want - I know I have!!! :)