As if the physical pain was enough, my wife just couldn't deal with me in such a foul mood all the time, cursing, crying, and constantly saying I would never get better and would be better off if I just died. Hey I know I'm a (naughty naughty) to deal with when I'm in such pain, but after I nursed her through a 2 month surgery/recovery in Denver ($20K out of pocket), 2 years of narcotics addiction, and 2 years of rehab ($200K out of pocket), the lack of support from her was the straw that broke this camel's back.
Funny how things happen. I'm told I need a colonoscopy, and it never occurs to me that this fissure could come back. The doc never mentions it. I go through this, and now my family is splitting apart. If that doc had informed me there would be as little as a 5% chance of the fissure coming back, I would have declined the procedure.

BillUltra,
I'm so sorry to hear the toll that this has all taken on your relationship. Illness of any kind puts so much incredible stress on everyone, as if life doesn't present enough stresses just with everyday challenges to get through. Please take as good care of yourself as possible right now. You've made so much progress in your healing and this added stress in your life makes you vulnerable to relapse.

Wishing for you a gentler road in days to come.

Oh God Bill,
I wish there was something i could offer you here aside from I am so, so sorry to hear this. Support means so much, in good times and bad, and I'm sorry you haven't gotten that which you needed to help you through your difficult health issue.
I do hope that can find a way to cope through your relationship struggles while still finding the strength to manage and maintain the progress you've made with your own health. If you need to vent, this forum can certainly be an outlet to do so. There are compassionate and understanding people here who truly care about one another...and just having the ability to get your feelings out now and again, may help you when you're feeling stressed or down.
I wish you well,
Angel

Actually, hearing that you're sorry to hear this is quite enough to offer. And I appreciate the hell out of it. I'm still doing good health wise, so the stress hasn't caused any flare-ups or anything. And you know, after all we've been though, I'm almost relieved in a way. I know I'll be better off without her, and she's getting such a nice settlement she should be perfectly able to build a nice life for herself.
And even the kids should be ok. The oldest has already graduated from college, our 19 year old daughter is in college, and we'll have joint custody of the 2 boys in high school. I think things will be just fine.
It's just strange that if I'd never gone in for that routine colonoscopy that was recommended only because of my age, or if the doc had only taken a small biopsy of the polyp he removed instead of cutting out the whole thing, this divorce wouldn't be happening.
This thing broke my spirit and even my will to live, and I don't think my wife is the kind of woman who can ever look at her man the same again once she's seen him broken.
Oh well. I is what I is.

We've probably all been around long enough to have seen that sometimes things happen in really unexpected ways to bring about actions and reactions that lead to something we never would have anticipated when we were going through the hardest parts of it. I know I've seen this with the years and years of health problems I've been dealing with.
On the other side of your loss, and the necessary steps to walk through in grieving, I hope for you full and continued restoration of your health, well being, peace and a renewed living of life as fully as possible. It sounds like you are already on your way.
Oh, and by the way, to me anyway for what it's worth coming from a stranger, it didn't break you... it bent you really far over for awhile and you got lost in it for a time as most of us do, but you're still here, and even in the darkest of your hell there was still something deep inside of you that rallied to keep trying, and I'm not only glad for that, I admire that kind of determination and courage as well. And then to come and share this with others, it not only helps you with the support you need, but it also helps others who might right now be sitting in their own bathtubs in tears and trying to find their own will to live again.

Bringing tears to my eyes jr. THANKS for the very insightful perspective.