Hi Sarah,
Firstly, Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! That's wonderful ...but it must be horrible having to go through all this anal anguish when you just want to be dedicating all your precious time and energy to your little one. Sorry to hear you are suffering at such a magical time.
I'm just here to reassure you that you WILL be OK and you will get through all this! Yes, it is scarey but just get referral to a CRS as soon as you can, so you can get a proper diagnosis and treatment and get it sorted so you can move on with your life.
I got a fissure and then an anal abscess, which also developed into a very superficial fistula in ano. I had a Fistulomy 2.5 months ago, whereby the fistula was simply "deroofed" to allow the tract to heal. It was a simple, straightforward, 20 minute procedure and I've just received confirmation that the op appeared to be extremely successful. I've not had a recurrence of the abscess and have no fistula anymore. Lots of people on this site have had the same op and from what I've read, all have had very high success rates and good recovery.
Yes, the procedure does take place under a General Anaesthetic but it's a breeze (honestly) absolutely nothing to worry about I promise you. Of course, there is the recovery process, which can be a little uncomfortable at times, but it's nowhere near as bad as a ruptured abscess or as painful as childbirth!
If the fistula is a little deeper and closer to the internal sphincter muscle, a CRS will not want to put you at any risk of incontinence - they will strive to avoid this, particularly for a lady of child bearing age, so would place a seton as an alternative, but this may not be at all necessary as your fistula may be superficial and easy to treat. You just need it all confirmed at this stage.
Please try not to worry yourself silly (easily said because I did too!) but you will be absolutely ok honestly! Just scour the site for fistula recovery stories and hoping that will put your mind at ease somewhat....Ensure you get referral to a good CRS asap and come back anytime for further reassurance. It WILL be ok!!! :)
All the best to you and hoping you get things sorted very soon