I am learning that a lot of the pain here is with spasms and not actually the AF. Are there exercises I can do to help the spasm? Like pulling 'up' the muscles (bit like us ladies do with pelvic floor exercises). Does walking help???

Yes, prunie is many type of exercises that works for the anal muscle.
I always done the pelvic floor exercises because of some littler bit of leakage since the birth of my children because the bladder.
But the one for the anal muscle is different, in my experience relaxing the muscle is just like letting go, just push gently to feel that the anal muscle is opening and hold it like that for as long as you can, like wanting to pee rather than holding back just let go, is the opposite of doing the pelvic and vaginal muscle exercises that rather call for tightening.
Doing this actually took away a lot of the pain I had with the spams that will hit me the worst at night and was unable to sleep.
I hope this information helps. I am sure other members have their own version of performing the exercises that perhaps will work better for you.

OOOh, great advice. Shall spend today 'letting go'. Lets just hope the 'letting go' and the prune juice don't combine to a horrible situation whilst in the supermarket!
Thanks again.

prunie Oh, I got a good laugh at that one, I have chronic diarrhea so I know exactly that sometimes letting go can take a new whole meaning. :D
But letting go, don't push, that is the key. :)