It's been over 4 years since I went to the CRS. Finally saw him this morning and I was scared to death. He was very kind and did not do an internal exam. We went over everything and basically my problems all stem from the hemorrhoid surgery I had over 30 years ago. He sat and talked with me for 45 minutes. I have pretty severe anal stenosis. He said the muscle itself has good tone but the scar tissue is what is causing the pain and spasms. Even though I already had LIS it didn't help much because of the scar tissue. He recommended I have a unilateral sliding flap anoplasty but if the opening was still very small he would have to do a bilateral flap. It requires an overnight stay in the hospital. After he explained everything he recommended I get a second opinion so I could make the best choice for me. He was honest and said there would be pain but that they I'd have medication for that and valium for spasms and if need be medication for nausea. He told me most of the pain should subside in 2 weeks and I should be able to take care of any residual pain with over the counter meds. Now it's up to me. I'm just so afraid, I've been relatively pain free the last month but I know this problem will not go away on it's own........ can't believe I'm a grandma and a big scaredy cat. He also said recovery should be 4-6 weeks but a full recovery could take 6 months. I have a lot to think about, any advise? Suzy

Hi Suzy!
First off, I think you ought to give yourself a lot of credit and compassion for going to the doctor, already knowing what you were going to hear from him. That step in itself required a lot. We all tend to be hardest on ourselves. Of course this is a very frightening undertaking. It would be for anyone.
There isn't a lot anyone can do to give advice per se, but the main things to think about that come to mind:
1. Do you feel like a second opinion would help you feel more confidence, or are you comfortable with what this doctor is recommending?
2. Do you feel like this doctor has adequately addressed your fears and concerns and answered all of your questions?
3. Is it the postoperative pain you are most frightened of, or is it potential complications, or that the surgery won't work, or all of the above? Sometimes when you fully unpack your fear and look at it squarely, it can really help. You can take each of those fears and then see if they feel like they've been adequately addressed. So, for example, if you're frightened of the pain, do you feel like your doctor has an adequate pain management plan for you after surgery? If your fear is telling you that you have some doubts about that, maybe you could explore that further with him. and maybe even bring in a pain specialist as a consult to help with more advanced strategies. There are proven uses of a wide variety of modalities for postoperative pain management.
It will of course be natural to have anxiety about any surgery. The big question that you have to answer for yourself, beyond the fear, is in your own heart. Is this a step you want to take, in your heart and body you feel is the right step to take, or is there lingering doubt and fear about that too?
I find the deeper I go into inquiry about my own fears, the more clarity I get, but I have to really spend a lot of time getting quiet and getting beyond the chatter in my head.
All that being said, it was a big day for you, and so for today, just relaxing and doing something really kind, soothing and gentle for yourself is the best way to let it all sink in to the spots it needs to for you as you go about making your decision.
Wishing you all the best, and stretching out a big hug to you.
x

Suzy,
If your anything like me... You heard the words, and then the panic sets in.
Give yourself a couple of days to settle down from this appointment, even though you knew this procedure was on the cards, it's still very hard to hear.
I am faced with the same operation. I have come to accept that this is what it will take for me to get my life back. I just think..... I have suffered with this painful af for 2 years now... It's not getting better on its own.... I can put up with another few weeks of discomfort to be fixed once and for all.
I will happily share any info or experiences I go through if it puts your mind at rest.

Thanks everyone. Your kind words help. I had asked my doctor about the house advancement flap that a few on this forum have had but he doesn't do that one. I talked to another CRS in the area and each doctor has their own take on the surgery. I never realized there were so many ways to do this. I also learned that it's not a very common surgery, most stenosis is treated with stool softeners, dilation or LIS so if your doctor hasn't performed a lot of them it doesn't mean he or she isn't good. I guess you have to trust your doctor. My doctor performs more flap surgeries for fistulas than stenosis. I'm going to take your advice jr2 and owmybum and try to relax this evening and digest what the doctor said, I think a little glass of wine might help. Thank you again. Suzy

Suzy, sorry you have so much things in your mind with all the information the doctor gave you about how to treat your problem.
Is so hard to make decisions that we don't know how will impact us later on in life.
You should get another opinion like he suggested and take it from there, remember is your body.
I wish you the best

Suzy, wanted to wish you all the best with your approaching surgery. Will hold you in my thoughts, and also know that it will soon all be over and you will be on the road to recovery. Thinking of you.

Thanks you, my surgery is scheduled for this friday morning. I'm really nervous. I do my prep thursday. I talked them out of the gallon of golytely and instead I'm doing mag. citrate. I just couldn't drink a gallon of anything at this point. My mind is going a hundred miles an hour right now. I keep asking myself if I'm doing the right thing, should I cancel but then my husband reminds me that even though I feel good right now it doesn't mean it will last. I'm lucky that he's home recovery from his own surgery so he'll be there to help. The nurse told me if I eat light tomorrow and wednesday that my clean out will be easier so tomorrow's dinner will be scrambled eggs. Thanks again for your kind words. I do check this group everyday to see how everyone is doing and it makes a difference to know there are people out there who understand and care. Suzy.

suzyjank, The more you think about the surgery the more you are going to have doubts about doing the right thing.
Soon everything will be over and you can get on with your life again.

Suzy,
You are doing the right thing ... You want your life back... This will give it to you.
Yes, you will have some level of pain whilst recovering, but hey... You have got through that sort of pain before, and it won't be any worse. Just take your pain meds religiously and hopefully you will be surprised at how well you manage.
We will be thinking of you, stay strong sweetie

OMB x