by jr2 » 26 Mar 2013, 15:37
Hi Suzy!
First off, I think you ought to give yourself a lot of credit and compassion for going to the doctor, already knowing what you were going to hear from him. That step in itself required a lot. We all tend to be hardest on ourselves. Of course this is a very frightening undertaking. It would be for anyone.
There isn't a lot anyone can do to give advice per se, but the main things to think about that come to mind:
1. Do you feel like a second opinion would help you feel more confidence, or are you comfortable with what this doctor is recommending?
2. Do you feel like this doctor has adequately addressed your fears and concerns and answered all of your questions?
3. Is it the postoperative pain you are most frightened of, or is it potential complications, or that the surgery won't work, or all of the above? Sometimes when you fully unpack your fear and look at it squarely, it can really help. You can take each of those fears and then see if they feel like they've been adequately addressed. So, for example, if you're frightened of the pain, do you feel like your doctor has an adequate pain management plan for you after surgery? If your fear is telling you that you have some doubts about that, maybe you could explore that further with him. and maybe even bring in a pain specialist as a consult to help with more advanced strategies. There are proven uses of a wide variety of modalities for postoperative pain management.
It will of course be natural to have anxiety about any surgery. The big question that you have to answer for yourself, beyond the fear, is in your own heart. Is this a step you want to take, in your heart and body you feel is the right step to take, or is there lingering doubt and fear about that too?
I find the deeper I go into inquiry about my own fears, the more clarity I get, but I have to really spend a lot of time getting quiet and getting beyond the chatter in my head.
All that being said, it was a big day for you, and so for today, just relaxing and doing something really kind, soothing and gentle for yourself is the best way to let it all sink in to the spots it needs to for you as you go about making your decision.
Wishing you all the best, and stretching out a big hug to you.
x