It took me almost a year, but I've finally settled on a "recipe" for soft BMs.
Breakfast: 1 cup Raisin Bran, Fiber One yogurt, 1 teaspoon Benefiber
Lunch: (just make sure to get at least ~6 grams of fiber)
Afternoon snacks: Fiber One pop-tart (one from package of two), Apple (or other fruit)
Before dinner: 30 minutes of brisk walking on treadmill (while drinking Propel-flavored water)
Dinner: (just make sure to get at least ~6 grams of fiber)
Before bed: 1 teaspoon Benefiber, 1 stool softener (docusate sodium)
Water intake: At least one gallon (128 oz) a day (I'm constantly drinking). Mainly plain water, but on the rare occasion I drink soda, tea, or alcohol. Caffeine and alcohol can have a hardening effect on BMs, so I usually drink extra water to try to compensate.
The fiber-ific breakfast and the exercise seemed to improve things right away. The breakfast helped me be "first-thing-in-the-morning" regular. And my BMs have been consistently softer since starting regular exercise.
Just wanted to share in case this may also help someone else.

Hi there William- I read your recipe with interest as I am the one who has been really struggling with achieving soft bowel movements without then going to the bathroom sometimes up to 5-6 times a day, which is very irritating and nervewracking and exhausting! Anyway- I liked the way you had it laid out. I have never tried Benefiber- I have begun to wonder if the single Colace I take at night is backfiring on me. And I thought I was a star of the water consumption at around 100. Maybe I need to up that by a couple of glasses.
Anyway- I should have been writing things down over the past 8 months, especially during the month when I was pretty much pain and bleeding free (I thought it was gone...) I have been dropping things out each day this last few days to try and see what is giving me annoying gas pains every afternoon and evening and the frequency. Then in the middle of that, I had a firmer bm yesterday afternoon that just about killed me and then the initial part this morning felt like barbed wire and then everything else was soft. Just had a second bout of really soft. And had really loose stools while at a concert last night. Very annoying!
So right now, I am taking
1 Tbs flax oil
1 Colace at night
at least 5 fruits and veggies a day, mainly raw (a pear, a banana, an apple, then veggies- sometimes raw carrots)
The 100 ounces of water
I was taking 400 mg of magnesium ox at night and dropped that two days ago. I thought at first it was the culprit of the gas and bloating, but after yesterday I'm not sure.
My acupuncturist wants me to add on a drink at night where I soak 1 tsp ground flax seeds in water and steap them a while and then drink it down. I did that last night instead of the oil.
Yours seems so simple. When you just eat 6 grams of fiber at a meal, I guess that could be 1 serving veggie, 2 pieces of whole grain bread or rice or something. I think many meals I could achieve that.
I dropped Metamucial and then Citrucel several months ago because I thought they were bothering my digestion too much.
Why do people seem to like Benefiber so much? How is it different?
Mirilax was hard for me to get even a tiny dose without bringing on a day of too many loose stools and having a strange, lightheaded feeling.
Thanks!
Bambi

Bambi, what about taking additional Colace? Colace never did a thing for me no matter how much I took, but some folks find it effective and take a couple pills a day.
BTW the "tip of the stool feels hard and everything else feels soft" thing is pretty common. We actually had a long thread on it a while back I think that one is just perception: the tip of the tool forces the spasming sphincter to loosen, and thus everything that follows doesn't cause as much discomfort.
Also, I had loose stools and also a flushed, lightheaded feeling (not to mention some abdominal discomfort) when I first started Miralax too. But that went away after a couple of days. It's definitely something your body needs to adjust to IMO.

BTW I just checked my old Colace pills and they're 100 mg each. I used to take 3 of these per day in the early days of my fissure, and I know some people take more. I don't think it'd be a bad idea to try more than 1 per day. My doctor actually told me that I could take as many a day as I wanted to, but since they weren't effective for me personally, I figured why bother.
Also, our admin Kim tried both Colace pills and liquid Colace and found the liquid version to be more effective. The stores around here don't seem to carry it very often, but if you can find it near you (or order it online), that might be worth a try too.

Bambi:

• I have a feeling that I probably drink too much water, but I'm afraid to lower the amount.
  
• Benefiber adds bulk, but it's a soft "fluffy" bulk (as others here have put it). I don't take that much, but I definitely notice the difference if I don't.
  
• I had serious problems with Miralax. I got leakage, and it made me feel bad. And I used to blame it for my two-month "sphincter clamp-down" that started while taking it, but I don't have any evidence of that. It seems to work fine for most people here.
  
• Everybody's different, so the only way to know what will work for you is slow experimentation. But I do think a good breakfast and regular exercise are very important. I had the most drastic improvements after starting those habits.
  

NG:

• Until recently, ducosate sodium (colace) only seemed to help me for a few days and then it seemed like my body adjusted to it. But since I've been exercising regularly, my BMs have been softer and my complete guess is that colace "opens the door" for the water to pass into the GI tract and exercise "pushes it through." Just a guess though.

Thought I would just bump this up, as it has some good suggestions for softening stools.