Thanks for all the great ideas! I really appreciate all the advice. The last three days I tried squatting and that seems to be helping. One of the days I didn't have to push at all. I actually started taking magnesium glycinate a couple of weeks ago. I always have the urgency to go when I wake up and I think the magnesium helps with that. A warm bath also seems to help with the urgency.
I'm going to try out some of the other ideas and see how things go. I'm really encouraged by all the responses.

Just wanted to give an update. I stopped pushing during a bowel movement about three weeks ago and have not pushed since then! I use a 9 inch squatty potty, which definitely helps. Somehow I discovered that there is a muscle I can engage during the bowel movement and then the stool slides on out. I'm not actually pushing with that muscle but engaging that muscle seems to open a "trap door" of sorts. It does take some patience to wait for the stool to slide out. I thought I would post this in case it helps anyone else who is trying not to push.

Hi Darkeyes,
That's great to read!! Hopefully, not pushing in any way is making a noticeable difference to your healing??
I know for me it is key and the difference between having a sorer, more hem inflammed bottom after doing so or having really no effect down there at all. It's possibly the most important lifestyle change I ever made.
It's really interesting once you take a little time out just to experiment with the best evacuation position instead of just falling into that old normal pattern. I too can relate to that "trap door" movement too & also the "higher" I lift my bottom whilst squatting the better also......
I hope you continue to get better & better........