Hi bob, Glad you have uplifted your mood, keep it up..fantastic.. Yes please let us all know, the best to you.
 

Hi all. Saturday here. August 3. I had an awesome day.
no pains at all. and i was laughing and doing stuff cause my family came to visit. And i didn't feel any pains. feeling pretty close to normal.
I don't knwo how thtat happend though. maybe it helped that since yesterday i just decided to sing and try to not feel depressed and try to adjust to my new body.
i've been singing alot.
It's making me heal i guess :)
But i'm afriad of the upcoming Scope test , that they might ruin me again. Cause if it's a nerve problem that i have, and then they pass the camera and stuff.. that will irritate it again.
That's what making me fear . that i'm kinda getting better at least from the pain..and that by doing the scope test that i will get hurt again.
In fact, i've been pondering if the Medical Assistant girl that did the finger test was responsible for making my problems worse. Like, when i went to see her( i went for a doctor but in that clinic they have medical assistants do the simple checkups)
all i was feeling was some sharp pains(not from the finger test but i mean the sharp pains are the reason i went to the clinic).
and then like 3 weeks after i went to see her then suddenly i lost my ability to feel urge to poo, i felt weird harder pains, and weird feeling of pressure in rectum and feeling of tenderness in rectum etc.  mmm.  So i wonder if she caused it. Maybe she did it too hard. I remeber it felt pretty werird, like she did a fast full 360 with her finger. Anyways, and she wasn't experienced because she kept going back and fourth to ask the actual doctor what she should do next, since she couldn't figure out. Then the actual doctor came over and then he attempted to insert some hard rigid thing. I couldn't take it cause i'm really sensetive. so they didn't complete it. and they set me for another appointment with Surgery department .
Anyways, but the Medical assistant i dont know, but she wasn't very experienced so i dont know if she made me worse.
That's why i'm afriad. that having medical tests will make me go back to the hard times i was having just a few days ago.

Hey Bob,
Glad you are feeling somewhat better! Please keep hope, there is life after AF'S i truly believe that. This forum has been a godsend for me, and i hope that you can get comfort from it too. Try not to panic too much about the scope, they will need to do it to check everything out back there.I have had so many cameras and examinations back there, i have got used to it. Maybe you could take some calms tablets or some Camomile tea daily. I am glad to hear that some of your family did come and visit you.Sorry to hear about your parents.Please try and confide in someone you do trust, as this may help you. I had counseling through my work, and talking to someone on a weekly basis who would listen to me and give me advice was great.I cried many times throughout the 5 months when my Fissures were at their worst, but day by day i am becoming more positive and fighting the monsters. You can do it too, i know you will be okay, and once you know how to control the Bowel issue, hopefully you will heal.

hi Everybody. day before yesterday was good too. I had a sudden strong pains but didnd't last much and i just had one episode of that. But i didn't do BM at all yesterday. that was strange.
yesterday was just great. Started in morning with a great BM. felt empty and awesome. Then great day no pains at all. awesome.
And i have to say GREAT FARTS. yeah, just some time ago, the gasses formed in the stomach area and it felt so bad cause they wouldn't complete form and evacuate. But now they are forming and exiting more correctly.
Anyways, feeling great. I've been eating good stuff too, good healthy foods. maybe that's helped me.

Ok Guys i'm back.
I went to the Surgery doctor today. First had finger test again, then He scoped me with an Anoscope.
That felt pretty weird but bearable by breathing. I was pretty weak at the end.
Well turns out i actually don't have hemorroids, fistulas or Fissures.
That was a happy thing.
And i'm getting better than before, as i have written.
But i'm still weird and feeling weird things. But i can angel gas again better also.
And i have better BMs in the morning, althought still difficult.
ANyways,
I thought i had fissures or something but I dont.
Maybe i just had some weird dysfunction of nerves and muscles. But as i said, i'm getting better.
Well thanks everybody for your help. And good luck on your health.
ALthough i may not have fissures, all the advice and things people are doing for the fissures are a learning experience for me,
I learned about eating more fiber and having softer BMs by eating fiber and drinking more water. I never used to drink much water before.
And also just in general you guys are so brave and dont give up, so i should not give up on my troubles too.
ok thanks!!!