Hello everybody!

I'm a 22 year old female and I've been reading this website since Oct 2016 (the awful beginnings of my fissure) but have only just decided to create an account. 10 months down the line and I still have not seen a doctor as I suffer with severe anxiety and am an extremely private person. The mere thought of somebody even seeing my bottom is enough to make me feel queasy with worry let alone the possibility of surgery which seems so common after reading these forums!!! Each day I get a little closer to making an appointment as this issue really is ruining my quality of life, I cant stay anywhere overnight for fear of not having bathroom privacy and whenever I leave the house I am constantly worrying about how long I have till I have to rush home for next BM! I have tried countless home remedies and I follow a plant based diet anyway (no constipation here) yet there are still no signs of healing. I also have a large sentinel pile (kidney bean sized!)which I dont think has any chance of going on its own now it has become so large. I'm starting a my new dream job in two weeks that I have been looking forward to for a couple of years and I feel utterly miserable that this problem is going to follow me (quite literally) into my fresh start.

I think I need a kick in the backside (not literally - ouch) to get me down to the doctors but I am absolutely terrified and dont know what to expect at all. Would love to hear your experiences of this, particularly on the NHS as I am UK based.

PLEASE HELP ME TURN OFF MY CRAZY 'THE WORLD IS ENDING' BRAIN!

< ps. this is horrific.

I've been to three, or four, different GPs in the UK with fissure issues, the first time in 2010 and the most recent time in April this year. They've only looked at it externally, no prodding or poking around at all. Sure, it isn't great having someone stare at your bum but the GPs I've seen have been very chilled about it all. Keep in mind they see these kinds of things pretty much every day.

There's a chance the fissure will heal when you get diltiazem or similar prescribed. You'll likely have to push for it and stress that you've had the fissure since October last year.

Good luck!